I've done a really good job of burying a whole traumatic period of my life. I have always known I would need to deal with it but found it easier to push it back and do my best to ignore.

I am a military Veteran.

I am a victim of harassment.

I am a victim of sexual assault.

I am a victim of violence.

Last Support Group a new person showed up - I recognized him from that time of my life. No, he wasn't a perpetrator but just the association with that time period gave me a sudden wakeup call.

This evening I heard one of the perpetrators being interviewd on national radio. He has gone on - despite being found guilty of sexual harassment more than once - to become one of the highest ranked individuals in the Canadian Forces. Yet another wakeup call.

[LittleLeah]

I'm sorry, that is so difficult. I read your other post too and it's always so enraging and terrifying when your perpetrator gets to go on living a normal life when yours gets turned upside down.

Hugs!!! You are not alone!

He was actually found guilty. It angers me that this was ignorred as he was promoted through the ranks holding one position of command after another. Not one of the men and women I knew and served with under him went on to continue their military careers. Why does he get to have a successful life?

[TishaBuv]

Maybe he'll get to enjoy this life, but he'll get his in the next one.

[Ceara1010]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

He was actually found guilty. It angers me that this was ignorred as he was promoted through the ranks holding one position of command after another. Not one of the men and women I knew and served with under him went on to continue their military careers. Why does he get to have a successful life?

Hi justafriend,

I've had some of the same experiences, and also have a perp who has gone on to have all kinds of prestige in his career. However I can tell from afar that he's not doing well mentally.

Still, I know first hand what it feels like to watch people who harmed you appear to have great lives when you have lost so much because of them.

That being said, you don't share what this man did to you, but I suggest you don't automatically assume his life is successful because it appears to be that way professionally. You never can tell what people are experiencing in their lives if you aren't close to them. It is possible for people who are emotional wrecks to keep their professional lives together, cleverly hiding how messed up they are behind a façade that can eventually crack. If this man has a history of abusing people, that's a sign that he may be one of these clever fakers. (My perp definitely was.)

--Ceara1010

Sigh. I thank you all. I needed to write it down - make my feelings real.

Well, I'm back again and frustrated. I've done a pretty good job from escaping and ignorring the triggers in my life as they come up leaving them unchallenged. I realise now I've spent my whole life burying the past and now it seems to have caught up with me.

More triggers this week. Coincidence with the sudden frequency? (I've gone years btwn triggering incidents before)

A picture of my mom fell into my lap from nowhere.
I came across a book full of notes from a difficult time.
Even the lack of acknowledgement and appreciation for something I did was a trigger.

My main emotion these times around is neither fear nor shame. Rather it is resentment - and a lot of it. I don't like this person I've been these last few weeks; snappy and angry. I've even allowed it to come through here and other communication. Sigh. I am trying to cope.

The thing is, tonight it support group and I am making myself sick about going. I worry that fellow might be there. I really need a strategy to help get me there.