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#1
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I almost titled this thread "when does trauma-related stress cross the line into actual PTSD?" but figured that would be too vague.
In 2009, I lost my first husband to an unexpected illness. It was a devastating loss and I suffered an emotional breakdown of sorts due to the grief and loneliness. I was able to recover due to the help of friends, counseling, medication, and circumstances coming together in a positive way. Even though my overall life became happy again for the most part, it was very painful for many years just to think back to his death. A few months ago, I was struggling with stress due to emotional/addiction issues with my current husband. I went on a week-long getaway to the mountains in hopes that it would help me relax and clear my mind. Instead I freaked out due to the isolation (which is VERY unlike me since I'm usually a fierce lone wolf) and started having flashbacks to the loneliness I felt when H #1 died. I also became obsessed with imagining H #2 dying and how horrible that would feel, and long story short, I had another nervous breakdown that prompted me to go back on medication and seek therapy. When my therapist heard this, she said "it almost sounds like you have PTSD." Emphasis on almost. Like the symptoms and emotional processes were similar. But I was always under the impression that PTSD resulted from an actual trauma--something involving violence and a threat to one's life and/or safety. For example, my best friend being abused as a child, and other acquaintances having battlefield flashbacks. My husband's death was not violent. He wasn't murdered or killed in a car wreck or anything like that. He got sick, was in a coma for three weeks, and died from natural causes. But it wrecked me emotionally nonetheless. For a long time I could barely stand thinking about it. Do you think that the emotional pain of losing a partner could actually cause PTSD? Or were my experiences a fairly standard response to grief? The reason I ask is that there are treatments specifically tailored to people with PTSD that I wonder if I might benefit from. I plan to ask my therapist about this, but I'm curious what you guys think as well. |
![]() cinnamonstick, Wild Coyote
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#2
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Out of curiosity, I just took the PCL-5 questionnaire and scored a 26 (well below the diagnostic cutoff for PTSD). But that's after several months of therapy and medication. Had I taken it back in March, I'm sure I would have scored considerably higher.
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#3
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Quote:
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#4
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My father died of cancer when I was 12.
I told the psychiatrist that I have not been able to go back to the town where we lived because just the thought of going there produced extreme anxiety. I have had bad, spooky dreams all my life about our house. I have eerie memories of him sitting in the darkened house if ever I'd wake up and go to the kitchen. He's just sit in the dark and I only knew he was there because I'd see the butt of his cigarette while he smoked. It wasn't just that he died of cancer, he smoked four packs a day and had major depression and psychosis (but that might have been from negligent drug treatment by a doctor). Of course it all spooked me. The doctor diagnosed me with PTSD. Also, my mother is totally traumatized and never recovered. And when do I think trauma crosses the line to PTSD is a measure of one's reaction to the trauma. If you get extreme anxiety reaction, it is that reaction that is PTSD.
__________________
"And don't say it hasn't been a little slice of heaven, 'cause it hasn't!" . About Me--T |
![]() Open Eyes, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#5
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It's very distinct but also very possible. It's different than combat, rape, natural disaster, watching someone die in some brutal manner, etc. but it is part of the PTSD spectrum. You still have flashbacks, extreme crippling anxiety, depression, dissociation, nightmares or other parasomnias; all of these fall under the umbrella of PTSD. Now, one or two of these might not be as prominent as others but if it's still there it can be diagnosed as PTSD. Emotional devastation severe enough can lead to post-traumatic stress because losing someone you love deeply is very traumatic and makes you feel powerless. It is likely that you felt unmistakably helpless during this period of time and your brain is still trying to process this.
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![]() cinnamonstick, Wild Coyote
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![]() cinnamonstick, Open Eyes, Wild Coyote
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#6
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I believe that grief coincides with PTSD. From my personal experience I believe a lot of my PTSD was caused by grief in correlation with the death of loved ones!
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#7
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Huge thanks (and hugs) to all who responded. TishaBuv, I'm so sorry to hear about your father. That was no doubt heartbreaking and I appreciate you sharing those experiences with me.
I'm pretty sure, in retrospect, that the issues I was having for the first six months or so after H #1's death were probably severe enough to qualify as PTSD. Nowadays, probably not (at least from a diagnostic standpoint). I still have traces of it at times. The reactions are similar, but they're much, much more muted now--if that makes sense. Triggers only cause me mild emotional discomfort at most, whereas in the past they would have sent me into a panic attack. There are still places and activities and trains of thought that I avoid because they remind me of him and therefore make me feel sad and preoccupied, but they don't put me over the edge. Far from it. The exception was the incident at the cabin in March that I mentioned in my first post and I think that happened mainly because my emotional state was already compromised by stress. So in short, I'm still unsure whether I can label myself as having PTSD. I'm about to have to stop therapy temporarily because I'm moving (which is good--I'm pumped!) but will definitely bring up these points with my new T once I find one who's a good fit. Thanks again everyone. ![]() |
![]() Open Eyes, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#8
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I am late to the thread. I appreciate the thread and the contributions made by everyone.
Persephone, I wish you well in your move. ![]() ![]() |
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