It started Sunday afternoon. I was home alone and felt really anxious and unsafe, so I locked the door, didn't dare to shower until my parents were home, and didn't dare to take my (drowsiness-inducing) medications until after. I didn't dare to take benzo's either (I have a prescription for lorazepam as well as oxazepam, both PRN) because they make you less vigilant and I feel I really NEED to be vigilant. I don't dare to listen to loud music - what if I don't hear something? I'm really attentive to sounds, too. Do I hear the back door? Is someone on the stairs coming up? I'm rocking back and forth or left-to-right all the time, which is a little bit comforting.
It hasn't really gone away since. When I'm being driven in the car (don't have a license myself) I feel sort of calm, and I had a great appt with my pdoc this afternoon that also relaxed me a little, but by the time I got home I was back to being anxious and feeling unsafe. I snapped at my mum a lot, such as when she refused to turn of the kitchen ventilator (if it's on I can't hear what's going on around me, so it needs to be off!). I don't dare to turn on loud music, because that prevents me from hearing what's going on around me.

But.. my father is receiving three guests this evening. I don't dare to go to sleep (or take my medication) until they've left. I'm not telling my father - not sure how he'd react, probably understanding, but maybe he'll call off the guests or change the venue of the meeting to the house of one of the guests, and I don't want him to go to all that trouble on my behalf.

So it'll be a sleepless night, probably..

just wanted to share.

[skeksi]

Oh, I know those horrible times when you feel like something awful is just about to happen and you have to be ready for it. They are terrible. And when you can't rest, you're more likely to be on edge and scared, and less likely to sleep. It's an awful cycle.

I hope the guests turn out to be not so alarming, or that you feel safe enough to take your meds afterwards. Be gentle with yourself.

[Wild Coyote]

((((( HUGS )))))

You are describing significant distress.
I am sorry you are so uncomfortable and are suffering.

I have experienced the same/similar. No fun. Very stressful.

What else helps?
Locking your bedroom door?
Do you have a dog? My dogs have watched over things while I sleep. This helps me. They bark if I need to know anything.

Be kind to yourself.

WC

[phoenix7]

Hypervigilence is a beast - I do what I need to feel safe - I have wind chimes attached to my door that will make a noise if anyone were to enter - that helps me feel safe

try having noise at a low level - then over time gradually increasing it if you can

speak to your T about this and see what they can suggest to help - try the grounding techniques at the top of the forum

I really wish I could help....

Thank you all for your support. I went to sleep around 4.15 AM, woke a little before 12, had a nap this afternoon and then saw T. T didn't really help. I'm still really high strung.

Please forgive my ignorance, but what causes hyper vigilance? Is there a specific trigger? Does it go with time? Apologies if you don't feel like answering, and I hope you feel better soon. It sounds hard. I don't think I've had it that bad, and I tend to use sleep to self soothe a lot. Hugs.