PTSD? Buspar? *Trigger Warning*

So I have not been diagnosed with PTSD, however, for the first time last week I had been triggered and broke down into tears and was pretty paralyzing. I had snapped back into the moment I was raped, even though I was not in harm’s way at all, I guess the setting was the same. I have never dealt with this, and I had been recently diagnosed with Bipolar disorder II and began taking buspar(3 weeks in today taking it regularly) until I find the right medication to take. Last night, I had night terrors so severe and pretty much was reliving most of my traumatic experiences(rape, abortion, abuse, etc.). I had to leave my home where I was alone and afraid of hurting myself. Gratefully my boyfriend is great and doesn’t mind me waking him up at 3 am with an episode. I’m just wondering is this something I should tell my dr right away or can it wait until my appointment next week?

Again this has never in my life happened to me and i'm worried.

At first, it's all pretty scary because you have no idea why these things are happening and some of the side effects are so severe and hit you like a train. The symptoms will always suck but the more facts you learn, the easier it is to learn how to cope with them. If you have questions about these symptoms, it isn't going to hurt to call your doctor so that they can walk you through what's happening. I don't personally have bipolar but I do have PTSD. I get triggers that seem to come out of no where but there's always a reason behind it. Having your boyfriend there is really going to help keep you grounded, so there's a plus. Though it is difficult, don't be embarrassed about having episodes. You wouldn't be really embarrassed if you had to use crutches. Try to think of it more as an injury and less as an illness. You doctor should start working you through everything by the next meeting no matter what. If you need to talk before that, do it. Nothing to be ashamed of. That's what they're there for.

(((poisen_oak))), I see you are a fairly new member and first wanted to welcome you to Psych Central. It's a good place to come when you need support and feel so alone with the challenge you are facing, which happens to be PTSD.

You asked if you should tell your psychiatrist/therapist that you are now experiencing night terrors and flashbacks, the answer is "yes". What you have described experiencing is something I have experienced myself and I would wake up thinking I was "experiencing" the trauma and it was just awful. Your brain is trying to begin to process the trauma you experienced and doesn't quite know "how", and because what you experienced was so traumatic, yes, it can turn into having a night terror where one wakes up all upset, frightened and confused. I got so I began to sleep with my TV on so when that happened the TV was my way of realizing where I was and helped me to come back to the present.

With PTSD there is a kind of period after a traumatic event where an individual goes numb and then it moves to a period where the individual becomes more aware and wants to finally work on processing whatever the trauma was. Part of that is "grieving" and with that grieving comes some guilt, anger, crying, and wondering how to go forward again. Often there is a need to talk about whatever happened as a lot of times the individual is still in "disbelief" too. Sometimes an individual is afraid to talk about it because they are afraid they might experience a flashback too. It can be hard to explain to another individual what that is like, it's also hard for a person to understand themselves too.

A big part of your "healing" is acknowleging that something bad did happen to you and it shook you up on a very deep level. Then slowly learning how to live one day at a time regaining your sense of safety again. As time goes on your brain will slowly figure out how to finally process this experience to where you don't wake up with night terrors. You do have to learn to be very "patient" with self as you work through this very challenging stage of PTSD.

There is a balance to healing which includes also trying to do things "positive" one day at a time too, this is to help you slowly recognize that while you have been traumatized, you can still "slowly" do positive things in your life too.

Trauma does create "change" in people, once a trauma happens one is never the same, but that doesn't mean one can't still live a healthy productive life. The truth is we are designed to "survive and thrive", even if we do experience a major trauma. It just takes time to learn how to move forward in spite of a major trauma. Patience, is so important, Patience with self. I have the saying "one day at a time", and to be honest, that is how I work at my own healing and if I have a bad day, I don't beat myself up for it, I do self care and have learned that when these bad days happen, they do pass. That is important because when the PTSD frightens you the way you are describing you need to realize that a trigger/flashback that comes over you DOES PASS too. I had to learn that when I have an episode/flashback that they do come in waves, they come in, crest, then receed and to be patient with them, acknowledge them and as I do that these episodes get weaker.

It's important that you understand that when someone experiences a trauma, their brain reacts in a way where often the conscious executive part of the brain is not capable of handling all of the trauma at once as trauma is something that comes so unexpected. So, when a trauma happens, the brain does record it in different areas, some of these areas don't have any language. For example sounds, smells, certain visuals, the environment. Once we get past the trauma, "survive it", then our brain often goes through a numbing period, then after a while the brain tries to put the trauma in perspective. It isn't meant to scare you, even though it feels like that, instead it's meant to come forward so you can finally understand what happened, what it meant, and learn from it "gradually". The grieving/mourning process is about questions in finally working through the trauma too. Is this my fault, why did I not see the danger, this is so scarey, this is so sad, this has hurt me and made me feel unsafe, why did it happen, am I now ruined forever, how can this happen, why.

It is good to talk about whatever you are experiencing, to know that what you are experiencing is actually normal and that you CAN slowly overcome and regain your sense of self again but it does take time. Remember that when you experience a flashback, as your conscious mind slowly acknowledges it, the flashback will get "less and less powerful". If you begin to understand that, when it does happen you won't be retraumatized, that's important. Learning how to step up with acknowledgement instead of believing you are being retraumatized improves your ability to heal much better. That is "key" to understanding PTSD and how to slowly help yourself gain on it.

I hope you will consider telling your dr now. This sounds like a PTSD flashback, but I am not qualified to diagnose anything. I'm glad that your boyfriend is supportive, and that you have someone around you right now.

Take care