Okay sorry for the dramatic title
But do you guys find that after trauma things have suddenly become more scary when they really havent been before?

Recently the idea of getting naked and getting in a shower and "washing" myself has been really scary. I feel like every time I turn on the shower I just get a horrible sense of dread over me and I get so overwhelmed with this incoming feeling of doom that I just can't get myself to take off my clothes and get underneath the water

Even when I get to the point where I *can* take off my clothes and get into the water, all I ever do is stand there and I dont use soap or touch myself even its just too much work and the thought of it gives me so much anxiety I just cant

I hate the thought of even being naked underneath the water, let alone using soap and touching myself....

People ask me all the time, "are you scared of water, kori?" and I honestly get offended like, "hell no, who is scared of water?! thats ridiculous!" but I think Ive been scared of water for a while now

The thought of showering is too overwhelming and I feel like the water is going to swallow me whole so I just dont shower at all

[avlady]

i knew someone that was afraid to take a bath because she thought she was going to go down the drain, it sounds awful to deal with, i wish you luck and there are others with similiar problems.

[DechanDawa]

Is this ongoing or something that just developed?

I moved to a new area and it is out in the country and very open, and it caused me to have a lot of anxiety every time I got in my truck.

Then my truck broke down and for a few weeks I have had to take buses. I don't know why but the bus makes me feel really protected and it has reduced my anxiety about all the open space.

Suggestion: change things. Like use bubble bath soap (or I use shampoo) and fill the bathtub up with hot water and let the water really warm up the room and the tub. Try soaking in the tub. You don't have to wash, just let the sudsy water do it for you. You could use candlelight. Sometimes I take a hot bath in complete darkness and I love it as I feel like I am like a baby in the womb. I have also known of others who got over shower phobia by showering in darkness.

[PumpkinPieHead]

May I make another suggestion?

Go the spa, girl! Here in my city we have spas with the baths, steam rooms, saunas, the whole bit. You can even book an exfoliating scrub or moisture sealing wrap and they'll wash you like a princess.

Thanks everyone for the input I really appreciate it

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Is this ongoing or something that just developed?

This has been ongoing but has slowly gotten worse

[NeighborsTrigger]

I experience flashback trauma every time I step into the shower from the abuse someone did to me. This was several years ago, but I always fear and hate showering. I must push myself to do this only because I have to be at appointments. I hate taking showers and I also hate feeling unwashed. It is a double edged sword. Sometimes I scream in there; sometimes I cry. It's sad to say I haven't overcome my lingering reactions to the trauma there.

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by DechanDawa

Suggestion: change things. Like use bubble bath soap (or I use shampoo) and fill the bathtub up with hot water and let the water really warm up the room and the tub. Try soaking in the tub. You don't have to wash, just let the sudsy water do it for you. You could use candlelight. Sometimes I take a hot bath in complete darkness and I love it as I feel like I am like a baby in the womb. I have also known of others who got over shower phobia by showering in darkness.

Changing things has helped me with similar fears. I have a lot of trouble showering at home but it's not so bad at the gym, so I do it there most of the time. When I was younger I had this issue and showered with my bathing suit on.

[ReptileInYourHead]

Hey kori
How are you sleeping recently?
And do you have any recurring dreams?

In the past, during showers, i was sometimes gripped by an acute and unreasonable fear. Not of the water but of not being able to see past the shower curtain.
I would feel panicked when washing my hair because I would have to close my eyes.
I ask how you sleep because my fear manifested itself in the dark as well.
I was scared of the dark 😅
Anyway, do you find your fear in other aspects of your life?