I have been very symptomatic lately,the hypervigilence and startle response has been off the charts.While trying to figure out what has triggered this I realize there's a trauma anniversary coming up soon.

I find it pretty amazing that although I have not been consciously thinking about this trauma,my body,and my subconscious never seems to forget.

Now that I understand what is going on,I am just trying to ride this out.Instead of trying to fight all these feelings and reactions,I am trying to flow with them.

Just looking for a little support as I ride this crazy train for a bit until I get through it I guess.

[Skeezyks]

Hello CrispApple: Congratulations on your insight & your determination to "go with the flow", so to speak. There is a Buddhist practice referred to as: "compassionate abiding" that would fit right in with what you're doing. I don't know if you're familiar with it. (Maybe I've even mentioned it in a reply to one of your previous posts. I tend to mention it a lot in replies I write.) Anyway, here is a nice description of the practice from a mental health perspective:

https://mindsetdoc.wordpress.com/201...e-abiding-101/

Yes,I am a bit familiar with it,but even more so now after reading that.Thank you for sharing it.

It's hard to believe that something that happened so long ago,when I was 3 years old,has had such an impact on my life like it has.

It was extremely violent though.

I have been sweating so profusely the past week or so,I can deal with that.I have been so jumpy and I mistake things as a person,for example,I let my dog out the back door a little bit ago and for a brief second the swingset in the back yard looked like a person.A couple of days ago I opened the door to let my dog in and he was behind the door as I opened it,and when he popped his head around it I screamed.I think that is the hardest thing to deal with.

Everything feels like a threat to my safety,sounds are magnified,shadows seem so ominous.I feel so irritable and breathless.

But I also know this will eventually pass.

[PumpkinPieHead]

((((CrispApple))))

[Open Eyes]

It's hard to believe that something that happened so long ago,when I was 3 years old,has had such an impact on my life like it has.

We are actually designed to be that way so that when we are raising our own offspring we have better instinct in protecting them. However, what can trigger someone to struggle is often when their child gets to the age they were when something traumatic happened to them.

Our brains and bodies actually record a lot more then we realize.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm going through the same thing. It's been over 20 years now and it still affects me.

[PumpkinPieHead]

Been 20 years,give and take, for me also.

[MtnTime2896]

Been some time for me, as well. Trauma tends to stick around.

It's been a very long time since this specific trauma happened,just one of very many.

I am doing much better now though,my symptoms are subsiding some.

Sorry all of you know what it's like too.

[PumpkinPieHead]

(((Hugs)))

Today is the anniversary.I am surprised at the amount of ANGER I am feeling.

[PumpkinPieHead]

Crisp Apple

Go punch some stuff...I plan to soon myself