[Jennifer1084]

I have no clue what I am doing, really. I am so messed up anymore. I don't know why but I am in another bad situation. I started dating this guy and well I feel like I have to do what he wants, I have to make him happy (no matter what), and also it really doesn't matter if I am used or not, if I get hurt, who cares? That is my new set of beliefs. I know it stems from a combination of what happened in May with the assault, plus my past history of abuse, but why am I being so stupid? I do not want this. But I feel like I have to do it. I want to be with him, but I don't think I am ready yet, but it's like it doesn't matter, I'm onlyl here for him, it seems like. I don't know what to do, I am so confused and lost and my life is just falling apart. I can't even go to college mainly because of what happened in May, plus that made me lose my parents insurance and car insurance went up, which I can't pay for (which my parents are saying they will no longer help me with). I am just so completely overwhelmed and hurting so bad. I really need some people in my life that will just listen, people who will just be a kind caring friend. I don't know if any of you would be willing to just send me messages every once in awhile or not, but I am so completely struggling and I really need people.

Jennifer

[Soidhonia]

Jennifer, I am sorry that you are struggling at this time. I feel that before you get to deeply involved with the person you are with at this time and feel harmed in some manner. You need to be honest with yourself and talk to your therapist about how you are feeling at this time. Totally being unconcerned for yourself and meeting someone elese needs to escape your problems is a usual characteristic of trauma or PTSD. It is okay to feel like you want a relationship but it is not appropriate to feel that you need to be in a one sided or unhealthy relationship where you are giving 110% and expecting nothing in return for your affection toward another person. It is good to be in a relationship but EVERY relationship needs 2 people to be getting their emotional needs met and boundaries to make sure the relationship is healthy for both parties to be happy in the relationship. You should under NO circumstances give up your boundaries just to please someone else for any reason. I understand that you are weak at this time, but you are still a person that has emotional needs to be met and you should talk to your therapist before making this decision to be totally withdrawn in the relationship, and give all of yourself and not need your needs to be met as well. I hope things get better for you soon Jennifer. Take care. Soidhonia

[wickedwings]

i agree with soidhonia. i'm sorry for the rough situation you are in. relationships need 2 people, definitely.