[MtnTime2896]

So, I was with a couple friends earlier who wanted palms read. When I was asked to give my hand, I chuckled and offered it up. The lady looked at it and said, "Well, that's interesting." I was sitting there thinking, 'Great, she's going to "predict" my death now.' Well, she didn't do that. She asked me very straight up, "Did you almost die, when you were very young? Maybe on more than one occasion?" I nodded. "And from what I see, you spent a lot of your childhood stressed out." No ****. "To the point of suicidal, even before you were ten." I nodded again. "And you're suicidal now?" I nodded once more.

All of this brought up a lot tonight, that was already on my mind, but made me acknowledge it more. See, I try so hard every day to just remind myself I've over exaggerated my past. That I couldn't have had it that bad because so many people have it worse. And every time I let people see into it, they always do the same this woman did; she started tearing up and said she's sorry for what's happened. Am I really blind to it all or are people just really sensitive to these things? I'm really trying to figure it out.

I have never had my palm read (though I have had a tarot card reading, and was shocked by the results)

I'm sorry you have to deal with all this.

(((((hugs)))))

"Am I really blind to it all or are people just really sensitive to these things?" Your mind/emotions might be tuning out in order to ensure you don't become even more crazy? Not saying I really know the answers but just speculating about one of the things you have probably already speculated about........
The mind is so mysterious and we have to be careful not to get to caught up in our thoughts. It is probably easier for me because I have had less trauma but I try to balance what I think with what I do by just trying to DO positive things everyday. I have always said to myself that what I DO in life is more important than what I think. Though it can be important not to turn certain thoughts into deeds that we know we might regret. I think if we can get ourselves into the right environment, it is possible to change some of our thought patterns but some of our deeds (attempts, crimes, marriages, births, etc.) can alter our future selves forever.

[MommaD]

Sometimes we try to minimize what's happened to us to make it easier to get through the day. It's like we distance ourselves from it, making it smaller than it was, because otherwise it's too monstrous to deal with.
But when others hear about it (or in this case, perceive it in other ways?) they don't minimize it, and they're horrified and deeply saddened on our behalf.
Could that be what's happened here? Or did I completely dread your question (not unususl for me!)
Either way, I'm sorry you've known so much sorrow and pain. You have my very best hopes for a better tomorrow

[MtnTime2896]

Originally Posted by MommaD

Sometimes we try to minimize what's happened to us to make it easier to get through the day. It's like we distance ourselves from it, making it smaller than it was, because otherwise it's too monstrous to deal with.
But when others hear about it (or in this case, perceive it in other ways?) they don't minimize it, and they're horrified and deeply saddened on our behalf.
Could that be what's happened here? Or did I completely dread your question (not unususl for me!)
Either way, I'm sorry you've known so much sorrow and pain. You have my very best hopes for a better tomorrow

That makes sense, actually. I don't think I allow any emotional connection to most of the things that happened anymore. What I still have already screws with me a lot. I don't think I can handle anymore. I think that could very well have been what happened.