[girlinterruptedbee]

Anyone here have PTSD from growing up in the system?

I am 24 years old and my ten-year stint in foster care still affects me today. I have been diagnosed with PTSD that was a result of several experiences I had at a bad foster home: I was severely bullied by the bio daughter of the foster parents in the home, I was molested by my foster brother (bio son of foster parents) and had to witness him molest his young cousins at family parties, I was physically abused by the brothers, an example is that I was used as a target for their sling shot and marble practice.

I was forced to clean their filthy home by myself on a regular basis while they went out or lazed around. I had to help them remodel their house, at ten years old, doing manual labor, knowing that they got all this new money from me being there. They listened to my phone conversations with my parents. They spoke very bad about my mother. I could never speak to a therapist or social worker alone. I was forced to practice their religion, attend church functions 3-5 times a week in my free time from school and cleaning their home, wear the clothes that they wanted me to wear which were nothing like the nice clothes I had worn before. I couldn't play with my friends or talk on the phone with them. I couldn't be a normal preteen/teen girl. By the time I got out of that home, I did not know who I was anymore.

I was placed in foster care because my mother attempted to murder my stepdad. I grew up privileged, but my mom was mentally ill. When I was ripped from my home, I lost my whole life. Everything changed. I was no longer a big sister, a daughter, an average ten-year-old girl. I was stigmatized at school. Called "foster kid" and "orphan." My mother tried to get me and her other kids back, but she just could not get her life together. I appreciate the effort she made though and will always respect her for that.

My father,on the other hand, I have no respect for. My father who has lots of money and retired, coincidentally, around the time that I was placed in foster care, denied me when I begged to stay with him after being at that horrible home for two years. He made excuses to me like the school was nicer where I was at or that I would be growing up in a family environment, instead of just with him, even after I told him of the things they did to me. He had the time, money, resources, and the support of the family on that side. My uncles have even commented on his poor decision. He denied me of a childhood and a healthy life.

When I confront my father about this event that ruined my childhood, he gaslights me and tells me that it didn't happen that way. He discounts my very vivid memory because I was just a kid. Another thing, when I turned 18, he got very angry with me when I told him that I was moving out of my foster home to go to college. He wanted me to stay there. He sounded crazy to me when I spoke to him on the phone about this. He made no sense. I was finally an adult, and I think he was uncomfortable with me being out of that controlled environment or whatever. I don't know. I really don't know how he lives with himself.

I don't really know any adults who have been in or aged out of the system. i have lost contact with the people I met along the way. How has growing up in the system affected you? What are some of your stories or experiences?

[Skeezyks]

Hello bee: Thanks for sharing your experiences. I cannot relate to what you went through. But I simply wanted to leave a reply letting you know I read your post & I wish you well...

I am so sorry for all you went through. Your story is heartbreaking and none of that ever should have happened. It must be so difficult to come to terms with all that transpired and how helpless you must have felt. I hope you find a way to get your power back. I can't relate to what you've been through but I did know a few foster kids growing up who spent time in group homes and the stories they told of their lives and fosters were horrible. I wonder if there might be a support group for such things? I know you are not alone in your experience and perhaps a support group could help? I really don't know, but I do know I'm sorry for what happened to you. (((Gentle hugs)))