[Jennifer1084]

Is there any chance that I could just forget that it ever even happened. The assault that is. I just wish that I could forget. I have been doing a pretty good job of it lately though. I have been telling myself that I was never assaulted and nothing happened. But then on Saturday my boyfriend would not leave it alone. He kept on asking me questions about what happened. It was really difficult. I then started falling apart because as I have said it previous posts, have been just doing what I thought I should do. I don't know I then realized that I guess it was wrong of me and that maybe I should just accept that it did happen and that I needed to stand up for myself more than I have been. I really just left his place in a hurry, started freaking out more and was considering just ending the relationship. But then I talked to someone where I live and they asked why I don't just talk to him about how I feel. So I decided I would, I wanted to do it that night though. So I called him and told him I needed to talk to him. But then he never showed up like we agreed on and then he disconnected his phone. But I went to his place and he finally let me in after 5 minutes. So I then explained to him how I have been feeling and how I thought and what I believed. I told him I wasn't really ready for what we had been doing. He was so supportive and it was really good to have that talk with him. Well I am just so glad that I did it. But I am still wondering, why can't I just forget I was ever assaulted? Why won't it just go away?

Jennifer

[(JD)]

(((jenn))) Because you were assaulted!

You need to work through it until it no longer bothers you this way. You don't have to do it now, but eventually, you probably will need to. Many ppl can deny and stuff feelings and thoughts from such a victimization, often through rationalization (like it was partly your fault or you should have...something..) but that rarely solves the problem.

If you really are suffering, the books say healing will be harder and take longer the longer you wait for therapy.

TC