To forget.

Do you feel that if you go away for a while, from here or from almost anywhere, you'll be forgotten? Erased even? And you'll never be able to go back? I do. And it hurts.

And if a friend vanishes for a while do you always blame yourself? Do you panic and think they've probably gone for good and changed their mind about you overnight? Even if you can't think of anything you might have done wrong, or to irritate them, or what might have happened? I find the closer I feel to someone the more this is likely to happen and the harder I have to work not to "mess up" in some way.

((( fuzzy )))

Yes to every question here!

I just told my T who will be out for a month for surgery that I worry she will forget me or want to forget me

I know full well it's my thinking creating it, but it's hard not to anyway.. And it's exhausting to worry about!

Is it to do with "poor parenting" or "abusive parenting" and the resulting "object constancy" issues?

Fuzzybear, I have learned that people do not forget me when I am gone. I had an excellent demonstration here at PC.

I left without fanfare -- I did not post any announcement that I was going. And after a time, a few people who had my personal email let me know there were posts wondering where I was, and I popped back in and thanked people and said I was okay. And a few people PM'd when I can back at Christmas 2006, welcoming my return.

I do not always blame myself when a friend leaves, because I have had to let some friendships go when the friend was judgmental or hurtful in other ways. I have learned that I have a hard time, too, coming up with an appropriate explanation for my leaving that is truthful, yet doesn't blame the other.

It can be a real balancing act. I'm am trying to get better at these things.

Thanks Wants2!!

hi fuzzybear!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i'd miss you if you left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i'd be happy if you came back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

but if i leave, it won't be your fault!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i don't really worry about people leaving?? i guess i just don't attach well???

I do (((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))

I won't leave the bear.

Thanks hon!!!

(((((((((((((((( Christina ))))))))))))))

I don't think you could be forgotten Fuzzy. You'd definetly be missed.

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Pickle said:
I don't think you could be forgotten Fuzzy. You'd definetly be missed.

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you will be LOL
you are so cute

Hello (((FUZZY))). I feel that it ia a very emotional issue when you befriend someone and then they move on in some manner. I have seen many come and go at psych Central, but everyone has left their endearing mark in some small way. Sometimes it is about just knowing that you had the opportunity to exist in someone elses heart for a while and having them live in yours for a lifetime of remembrance. Take care (((FUZZY))). Soidhonia

Oh here is that post I wanted to respond to!

I meant to post yesterday and then forgot where it was.......

anyway-- this is very much like how I feel all the time. I just know I'll be forgotten because it has happened many times in my past. I'm convinced I was invisible as a child most times and it also happens in my adult life--

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And if a friend vanishes for a while do you always blame yourself?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> OH Boy!! do I ever!!

I had an e-pal up and quit writing me-- I thought we were close-- wrote for 2 years! She said she would always be there as she understands how I feel about people leaving--- then---- I wrote her one day-- and she's never written back-- (I waited 2 weeks, tried again-- she never wrote) It triggered me so much so(thought I was a terrible person and that they will leave me) that I'm just now realizing -- silly as this may sound to some-- I got so scared the T. I was seeing was going to do the same-- that I quit him before he could abandon me.... .... guess I made a bit of a mess .

I get so confused in this "mysterious dance" that is called relationships.

Fuzzy-

mandy

I have had to let some friendships go when the friend was judgmental or hurtful in other ways. I have learned that I have a hard time, too, coming up with an appropriate explanation for my leaving that is truthful, yet doesn't blame the other.

I struggle with this too.

((((((((((((((((( Soidhonia ))))))))))))))))

That's how it should be.

I understand too well. Mandy

I've struggled too with this. growl!!
Blame STINKS!!!!!!

((((((((((((((((( Petunia ))))))))))))))))

(((((((( Fuzzy ))))))))))

I fear being forgotten too. But I still remember my best friends even from kindergarten and early elementary school, even though I haven't had any idea where they were for decades. Although I remember them, I'm positive that they wouldn't remember me. This is a particular issue for me because I've moved every few years throughout my life, so I don't have a hometown and I've always just been a wanderer through all the places I've been. I doubt that anyone remembers me anywhere. But I always remember them. Some people more than others. Fuzzy, I will always remember you. And thanks to internet, we never have to lose contact. Now I've been able to stay in contact with people who use internet through my last three changes of location. That adds a lot of security and comfort to my life.

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Fuzzybear said:
And if a friend vanishes for a while do you always blame yourself? Do you panic and think they've probably gone for good and changed their mind about you overnight? Even if you can't think of anything you might have done wrong, or to irritate them, or what might have happened?

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Oh, yes. When I was in early high school I hung out with a group of people who seemed to do pretty much exactly that - they started off friendly, but gradually started leaving me out until I finally took the hint and stopped trying to be around them - and ever since I've been worried that my other friends will get fed up of me and leave me as well. Also, if a friend online doesn't reply to my messages for a few days and doesn't have a reason that I know of (like being on holiday, for example), then I'll start to worry it's my fault and I said something to upset them...or, they've just got fed up of me.