PTSD means some really awful stuff happened to you. To me. Things no one should have happened to them. I don't want the stuff to have happened to me.

[benzenering]

But it DID happen to me...and, it sounds like, you... and I want to learn to deal with it in a positive way. Not entirely sure yet what that entails...working on it in therapy. Consider that it is better to work on it and learn what it means to you, how to get rid of the demons, than have constant flashbacks and low self esteem, abusing substances, among other things. Are you in therapy and opening up, Breadfish? It's hard...I've been in therapy for eight months now and it isn't getting any easier. But I have hope.

Thank you for your reply.

I am presently taking a break from therapy because it isn't really working (I've tried different styles and different Ts and a Lot of opening up and trauma treatment). But I've asked my T if she has time for a phone session later this week.

I'm just hurting so bad.

I don't want to have PTSD either but, unfortunately I have & im still working hard on it & will continue to do so as long as I have breath in my body!! I deserve to be freed from my trauma, even if that means it just becomes 'manageable'.
Never give up!!! We didn't 'give up' then, so I for one, am not about to give up now.

[PreciousQueen]

Originally Posted by Breadfish

PTSD means some really awful stuff happened to you. To me. Things no one should have happened to them. I don't want the stuff to have happened to me.

No, it shouldn't have happened to anyone, including you. If you actually do have it, I was told "name it to tame it". It could help. Best of luck.