[East17]

I wonder if it’s possible to dissociate to the point where you cease to exist.
That’s how it feels – as though I’m gradually disintegrating.

[Shazerac]

Originally Posted by East17

I wonder if it’s possible to dissociate to the point where you cease to exist.
That’s how it feels – as though I’m gradually disintegrating.

I don't think it literally possible to disintegrate. It in a way you are though, If you feel this way. Do you have any kind of support system to help you through this? A sympathetic friend, a therapist.

I've felt this way a few times. In a way I felt like I died and when I woke up the next morning I was a different person. I may look the same, but the old me was gone.

I had to let go of the expectations of the life I thought I should live, what I believed, what I thought I should have achieved by now, how I thought I "should" behave in relationship with others.

Good luck on your journey

[MuseumGhost]

"I had to let go of the expectations of the life I thought I should live, what I believed, what I thought I should have achieved by now, how I thought I "should" behave in relationship with others."

Thank you for that, Shazerac. It can never be stated too much.

The sort of ruminating that haunts us can be so eroding at times. One does have to fight back with solid, defensive strategies and new ways of thinking about things. One at a time, if that is all we can summon.

Talking it out with someone can certainly help diminish its power. I hope there is a light on the horizon for you that way, East.

Journaling has helped me, when no one else was close.

And we are here, and we care.

[Open Eyes]

Trauma that results in an individual struggling with PTSD can create a significant challenge in one's ability to "trust" not only others but "self" as well.

The brain experiences a chemical surge during a traumatic event, often the individual "freezes" when they experience a traumatic event that catches them completely off guard. So basically that person is in a state where they experience or witness something that happens where they literally have no control or ability to stop or prevent that trauma.

It really takes "time" to slowly move forward in one's life where that state of powerlessness during a trauma is slowly overcome. First of all, the PTSD itself takes time to develop and it develops in stages, then the "healing" and recovery takes time a patience to where someone slowly learns how to live and regain themselves through patience and therapy to do so. This feeling of "Nothingness" is part of the PTSD itself and it requires one to be very patient with self as you "slowly" begin to trust and gradually move on with your ability to trust in yourself to resume living your life.

Everyone is a little different depending on their history and the trauma or traumas they may have experienced.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by East17

I wonder if it’s possible to dissociate to the point where you cease to exist.
That’s how it feels – as though I’m gradually disintegrating.

Is something/someone feeling threatening to you as you feel this way?
Dissociation is a mode of self-protection. What/who is triggering present day dissociation?

Do you see a therapist?

Please take excellent care of yourself.
Keep reaching out.


WC

[Carmina]

Yes - I took myself into nothingness to cope with the worst of my childhood. Sometimes it's still a place I go to when I need to put myself aside for a while to help others or just get on with the job.

[Fuzzybear]