Deleted.

[RubyRae]

Hi starrysky.

I'm sorry you feel like nobody cares and deleted your post.Also sorry that I didn't get a chance to read it first too.

I saw this thread because I was actually looking for a thread of my own I had started,that was about writing a letter to an abuser.I couldn't find it though and I'm too lazy to go through all my posts to find it.

I hope you can maybe come back here and post again because I am really interested in what you have to say,I care!

I'm wondering what you were asking,what you would write to someone who traumatized you,whether you meant a general letter,like keeping in contact,or calling them out on what they did to you.

I had started a letter to one of my abusers but had decided to not write one afterall.But this morning I started writing one again and I think I might actually mail it even though thinking about it gives me anxiety.

Hi RubyRae, I wrote them a letter telling them how hurt and angry I was. It happened a year ago. I was triggered yesterday. I decided not to send it, because I don't think they will care, I don't feel safe in what they might respond with, and am unable to block in hotmail for some reason. So I wrote the letter. But I didn't send it.

Also, I don't want to be a jerk to this person, like how they were to me. As much as I want to. I think it's better I (and they) have no contact. https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynar..._and_why_i_am/

[RubyRae]

I am just thinking about how I want to speak my truth that I have been silenced about for a lifetime.Not for revenge,not to change anyone,not to threaten or be mean or anything besides speaking my truth.

I just want to let this person know that I have been able to see through and work through all their brainwashing they did up until about a year ago.And despite what they did to me for so many years I survived.

I know the person won't really care what I have to say and may not even read it at all but I want to do it for myself and not them.The thing that's been holding me back is wondering how it will make them feel,will they become suicidal,harm theirself,etc.I shouldn't even care about that at all since they didn't care when they were abusing me,but I still do care about that.I even love this person still.

Thanks for coming back and posting.If you don't feel safe in how they might respond it was probably a good idea to not send it.My therapist encouraged me to confront a doctor that sexually assaulted me but I didn't do it because I knew being called a liar and treated like an unstable person would hurt even more.I knew what was best for me as I'm sure you probably know what's best for you too.

I checked out the link.It was interesting and helpful.

[88Butterfly88]

Personally I wouldn't start communicating with them unless they have been in contact with you, you wouldn't want to let them back into your life to do more harm.

[paisleystar]

[QUOTE=starrysky;5831144]Also, I don't want to be a jerk to this person, like how they were to me. As much as I want to. I think it's better I (and they) have no contact.

I also have had the idea of writing to the person that has been abusive to me my whole life. After talking it over with someone on my treatment team I felt a little vulnerable and came to see that it really wouldn't have given me closure I thought I was seeking. The link you provided was good. Thank you for posting it. I wish you the very best starrysky.