What wrong idea about PTSD would you most like to eliminate?

I wish people would understand that PTSD is not just a matter of "holding on to the past." We cannot simply "forget about it," or "move on," or "let it go."

I wish people would/could understand that having a PTSD dx doesn't automatically mean a person is,or will become, violent.Or that anytime they are upset or mad about something it's not always because of their illness.

Oh, YEAH. I love how, once somebody finds out we have a diagnosis of any kind, we're never allowed to show our emotions ever again. We don't have feelings, do we? No, they're always symptoms.

I'd like for people not to take that exaggerated startle reflex personally. If I jump through the ceiling because you made a noise I wasn't expecting, or because you suddenly came into my field of vision when I didn't know you were there, it doesn't mean I'm afraid of *you.* It's called a reflex because it's something my body does automatically, and there isn't anything anybody can do about it.

I'd also like for people to let go of the idea that PTSD is something only combat veterans can get.

This is a real problem in relationships because if someone touches me and I'm not ready for it I sometimes startle like that, and this has led me to back away or push away a hand which has led to all sorts of misunderstandings. I find it very hard to relax while sharing a bed with someone and need a lot of space. It took me ages to figure out why I was responding like this myself.

I FULLY agree.. We don't choose to have this diagnosis, but if you do, people just don't understand what it is or how to act like we are normal people as well. I can't seem to drill in someone's head what it's like to have this issue and not react differently than others..we didn't ASK for this in the first place.

I fully relate to this. I've seen people genuinely offended by my startle response, even angry! One man who touched my shoulder from behind (he wanted to tell me something trivial) began shouting at me because I jumped from fear when he did that. He began yelling at me that I'm paranoid and he wouldn't touch me since he has a daughter older than me. Then he walked away furious....And the worst thing was it took me time to realise it wasn't my fault. I automatically assumed I was "the weird one" again and felt ashamed.

I wish people would understand that in order to have a PTSD dx a person has been through a major,life changing trauma(s)The way the term PTSD is casually thrown around,along with the term trauma seems invalidating.

I also wish people would understand how hard PTSD is to deal with.If they did they wouldn't casually use the term.

I wish people could understand how it feels when I am startled so they wouldn't laugh.It's NOT funny!

There are people who know full well that somebody has PTSD, and make a game of deliberately jumping out at them so they can laugh at the startle reaction. That is truly sadistic. I won't tolerate people like that in my life anymore.

Yes, PTSD does get thrown around casually. If somebody once fell down a flight of stairs, and ever since then they've been very careful on stairs, this isn't because they "have PTSD about it." It's because they learned a life lesson. I've read where it's become the latest fad diagnosis, and that upsets me because when that happens, it waters down the public perception of it, and people who actually have real, live PTSD are taken less seriously.

I agree that it's sadistic to purposely startle someone.It's so very cruel and hurtful.I have had people do it to me just so they can laugh.My reaction is so over the top and it's humiliating enough already,the last thing I need or want is someone laughing at me or causing it for their own entertainment.

I didn't understand what PTSD was before I received the diagnosis and learned about it through therapy and research.I did know it was a severe illness though and that it took some pretty major stuff to cause it,like being in war.I actually only thought it was something those in the military could get.So I was surprised when I was diagnosed.

I've noticed it's mostly young people that throw the PTSD label around casually,claiming it for a bad break up or because a parent yelled at them once,etc.It does seem to be a fad dx for some reason.

Maybe I'm missing the glamour of it?If anyone thinks it's a cool thing to have,they can have mine,I would gladly give it away in a heartbeat.

My son asked me recently "how does it feel to be traumatized mom?"I told him I don't know how it feels to not be,I've had PTSD since I was a young child and explained my symptoms,what I go through when I've been triggered,etc.It was hard to describe what feeling "traumatized" is when I don't have a before traumatization to compare it to.

As with all mental health issues, I wish more people would have more understanding, and stop treating people like they are somehow "less" if they are affected by it.

In a way it's a blessing that my husband and I both have PTSD from childhood abuse. We can understand each other. Sometimes he does take it personally when he unexpectedly enters the room and I jump a mile. "Sh, sh, hey, it's OK. It's just me." And I have to remind him that I can't control it, and it's not his fault, and I don't blame him for "scaring" me.

That's one thing he doesn't appear to have, that startle reflex. His comes out more in the form of nightmares, which I don't have as many of anymore.

Early in our marriage, we were getting ready for bed. He took his belt off so he could put his pants in the wash. I had my back turned. When I heard that sudden zzzzzip of leather clearing the belt loops, I was *under* the bed before I even realized it. And I was well over 40 and hadn't had a belt taken to me in decades. He understood. Now he lets me know when he's about to take his belt off, so I'll expect it and not be startled.

Some men in that situation might have been offended. "You got scared because I took my belt off? What kind of husband do you think I am?" But it's not about that.

Blimey, I honestly thought I was the only person who got affected by the belt thing. I'm 48, and for 45 years of my life, a belt = a beating and/or (forced) sex. I couldn't wear a belt until 3 years, but I guess I've come a long way when I think of the nice belts I want to buy for myself (not much in my size though)

Thank you so much for sharing this.

I live in the U.K. It's only recently (since Gulf War) that the government/military professionals even recognise PTSD for soldiers. Thankfully it's getting more recognised for non-vets now, but there is still a very strong belief that only soldiers can have this.

I wish that when I have thoughts and opinions people don't automatically assume it's just because I have been triggered.

I was saying that very thing to my son just yesterday.I was very upset about something and was voicing my opinion and thoughts about it.I became frustrated when I was told it was 'because of my PTSD".I explained that anyone would be upset in the same situation.Sometimes I think it's used as a way to gaslight me into thinking it's just me over reacting.

Absolutely true. I have both PTSD and chronic depression. I can guarantee I couldn't even cry at a funeral without somebody wondering if I'm relapsing again. Why aren't we ever allowed to have normal emotions in normal situations?

And on the flip side of this,I wish people could understand that some behaviors I have ARE due to PTSD.

When my symptoms are in high gear,it's not that I'm just lazy and don't want to go in Walmart(or any other super store),it's because it's too overwhelming.If I am feeling unsafe and feel afraid of everyone and everything,it's too much to go in a gigantic store with tons of people.It just doesn't feel safe.

If I don't make eye contact it's because I'm too afraid.
If I don't talk,I'm too afraid
If I don't leave my house or answer my phone,I'm too afraid.

Some things ARE from my illness.I'm not being dramatic,lazy or faking.

That it's a temporary illness. (I've also had people - including health care professionals! - make this assumption about my general anxiety disorder. Like WTF?! No. These are chronic ongoing conditions.)

That it can be completely cured.

That because I've never been in combat, or violently assaulted, or in some sort of horrific accident, that I don't actually have PTSD. Wrong. Mine is known as Complex PTSD. It's the cumulative effect of many "smaller" traumatic incidents that have occurred at various points in my life from birth until recently. The effect is the same.

I'd like to dispel the myth that a trauma has to be "serious enough" before it qualifies. We should never belittle someone else's experience. "You have PTSD because you got whipped with a belt? Shoot, I used to get locked in the basement! You should feel grateful it wasn't worse!" Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Thank you for this thread. It is encouraging me greatly right now.

I share in all the comments here.

[QUOTE=Arbie;5911029]There are people who know full well that somebody has PTSD, and make a game of deliberately jumping out at them so they can laugh at the startle reaction. That is truly sadistic. I won't tolerate people like that in my life anymore.

Agreed.

I don't get how people get any type of enjoyment in watching someone react to something that causes another being distress. Would you laugh at the diabetic going into shock? No.

This one neighbor I had who also experienced mental illness and knew about my ptsd. Triggered me many times. He would pound on the door like he was the cops. I would answer and be distraught and then angry with him asking him to leave and when he can learn how to knock on the door normally leave me the hell alone. The other thing he would do is while in my house hit the test on my smoke detector for the hell of it (huge trigger for me) and laugh when it sent me into panic mode. We are not friends anymore.

Another thing I hate about PTSD is that all people with it are dangerous. I am not dangerous. I am low keyed and hiding way in the background (social anxiety) and i dont like being lumped in what is called dangerous by most media;s these days.

I wish people would quit asking me, "Why didn't you do something to stop it? Why didn't you say anything?"

I don't know, maybe because I was a kid who didn't know any better. A kid who didn't understand anything beyond, "It hurts. I'm scared. I wish they didn't do this." I didn't know it was wrong, I just knew these things. I was terrified. I didn't want to "betray" these people. It's so much more complex than, "They did something bad, better go tell someone."

It doesn't work like that. I didn't want this. I didn't purposely put myself into these situations. And I still don't know what I did to deserve it, other than existing.

That we can just get over it.

I can relate. When I was in high school, I was telling my grandmother how it had been when I was five years old and an adult family friend **trigger warning** molested me. My grandmother actually said, "Well, it seems you would have been intelligent enough to scream."

Um.... I was five. I didn't even know what he was doing, let alone that the proper response was to scream.

That it’s a roller coaster ride, I have spans of being okay and functioning and then I will have a bad period and it’s a fight to get to work so I can keep my job. Usually it’s around anniversaries of trauma or when I have excessive stress in my life

That I don’t want to be this way and if I could just move on I would. It is a never ending nightmare. I can be with friends laughing and having a good time and the wrong noise, smell, movement just releases a bad memory and steals my joy