[seesaw]

Does anyone find that after suffering the first trauma that gave them PTSD that they are more highly susceptible to experiencing further trauma?

My initial trauma dates back to my childhood and upbringing in an abusive family. But then, I have found myself twice now in very hostile and toxic work environments that seriously traumatized me to the point of having nightmares and triggering dissociative episodes.

I was laid off from my job in July, and I am suing for discrimination, because there was blatant discrimination against me because of my PTSD. But lately, my nightmares about that place, which was highly toxic, have been intensifying. I'll have dreams where I either relive the firing or run into my ex-boss in public. In all these dreams, I end up going off on her, telling her what a horrible person she is, exposing her for all the lies she has told...etc. And while, in a way that should make me feel good, it doesn't because it means she has gotten the better of me. She has caused me to lose control. She's a troll and you don't feed trolls. The second you do, they pounce back with even more because that's what they want, to see you lose it. I'm trying to let my lawsuit speak for itself, and if I have to go public with my evidence, I will.

I've also been having intensified nightmares about my abusive father.

Is it possible that working through that abusive, hostile, toxic environment retraumatized me?

Seesaw

[SorryShaped]

It's very possible.
I used to take prazosin nightly and sometimes still do for a few nights when the bad dreams don't stop. It takes away nightmares. It gave me my first nightmare-free nights in 23 years.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

It's very possible.
I used to take prazosin nightly and sometimes still do for a few nights when the bad dreams don't stop. It takes away nightmares. It gave me my first nightmare-free nights in 23 years.

I was on prazosin for a while and didn't really find any relief with it. It did help me sleep though...so they weren't as bad nightmares, like not waking up shaking, but able to sleep through them. So I guess that's some relief.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by seesaw

I was on prazosin for a while and didn't really find any relief with it. It did help me sleep though...so they weren't as bad nightmares, like not waking up shaking, but able to sleep through them. So I guess that's some relief.

I stopped taking it every night because it dulled all my dreams.
I take 600mg(!) Seroquel nightly, so I'm usually, not always, out and cannot wake up from dreams. It takes an alarm or someone waking me up because I'm screaming to get me out of sleep.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I stopped taking it every night because it dulled all my dreams.
I take 600mg(!) Seroquel nightly, so I'm usually, not always, out and cannot wake up from dreams. It takes an alarm or someone waking me up because I'm screaming to get me out of sleep.

Before I lost my insurance and access to meds, I was on 300mg of Seroquel for sleep nightly and I was finally receiving some relief from my insomnia after years of not sleeping. I went from half an hour or an hour a night to 7 hours of sleep a night. It was miraculous. The first thing I'm doing once I'm able to get health insurance again is get back on Seroquel.

However, that still doesn't stop these terrible nightmares I've been having about my former employer.

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by seesaw

Before I lost my insurance and access to meds, I was on 300mg of Seroquel for sleep nightly and I was finally receiving some relief from my insomnia after years of not sleeping. I went from half an hour or an hour a night to 7 hours of sleep a night. It was miraculous. The first thing I'm doing once I'm able to get health insurance again is get back on Seroquel.

However, that still doesn't stop these terrible nightmares I've been having about my former employer.

I am sorry you're into it at all. It's got to be more miserable than you can even post it to be. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.
Something that helps me, at least a tiny bit at a time, is to write about things. I write exactly what happens and then below an analysis of what the experience did, or changed to or of me.

[eskielover]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

I stopped taking it every night because it dulled all my dreams.
I take 600mg(!) Seroquel nightly, so I'm usually, not always, out and cannot wake up from dreams. It takes an alarm or someone waking me up because I'm screaming to get me out of sleep.

I was on 600mg of Seroquel for almost 2 years after the trauma so I could sleep but after leaving the bad environment & moving 2100 miles away, I was afraid to be that totally out of it the way it made me. I would have never been able to take care of me, 7 dogs & my farm in the hung over condition the Seroquel left me in. I still have trouble sleeping & when stressed I have nightmares but not about what happened during the trauma. Maybe these dreams are about other traumatic stuff I sort of blocked out of my memory though I always knew I struggled to get away from parents & my H.....not physically like my dreams but emotionally.

Living with no real schedule I just sleep when I get exhausted.

[SorryShaped]

I also have M. Hirsuta that I use when I absolutely cannot go to sleep. Sometimes even Seroquel won't do it. Oddly, I had a double espresso last night and still slept so deeply

[eskielover]

Sometimes coffee (espresso) wires me, other times I'm so exhausted that even coffee can't keep me awake. I was driving home late one night & dozed off at the sharp curve before getting to my farm. My truck went right between huge stone farm entryway posts to the driveway of that farm & a street post for the following curves. I backed out without a scratch but my truck tires sure left a tell tail mark. I have several close friends that take the same route home. They commented about the tire marks.....I had to fess up they were mine.

I fell asleep on the Calif freeway on the hour drive home from a stressful T appointment. The result of that crash though it was just me involves wasn't as nice. I was so out of it, I called the fire department on the call box instead of the CHP. They picked up me & my little dog Celia & took me back to the fire station for observation before calling an ambulance. I wasn't hurt but it was only 6 months after having neck fusion so they thought it best to be checked out in the ER. Stress either makes me want to sleep or it makes me hyper & I lose tons of weight....trauma causes the hyper reaction & sleep doesn't happen easy then.

[SorryShaped]

Stress makes me everything all at once.

[rottedxdoll]

I'm not sure if I fully understand what you were asking, but I do think that since my initial trauma I'm more negatively effected by things that have happened to me since. I feel like I've been almost traumatized by things that I probably wouldn't have considered traumatic before.

I have a few experiences to explain how I've noticed an increase in trauma symptoms about other negative experiences if you wanted to read them to see if you relate or anything.

I was sexually abused at 13. I didn't really realize that I was dealing with PTSD symptoms at the time (it seriously would have helped if any of the counselors or psychiatrists I saw told me that part of the diagnosis..) but looking back I see all the signs. I got over that with time basically since I never found helpful therapy.

I was basically a fully healthy (as far as PTSD is concerned, still mentally unwell in other ways) person for a few years until I was raped in January. Since then I've been a mess. I've had some other less traumatic things happen this year, but I've had a few things that I wouldn't have thought of as 'that bad' but they are still bothering me to the point of having some PTSD symptoms over them.

I've had 2 or 3 nightmares now that have been almost traumatizing in themselves and I've had anxiety and even flashbacks over them months afterwards. I've had several nightmares that disturbed me for a day or two after, but left my memory afterwards. Before this year I'd only had 2 nightmares in my life that still make my heart pound to think about (or that I can even still remember after years)

I had 2 miscarriages this year (I swear my life isn't always like this, 2017 was just not my year lol.) and even though I had one miscarriage when I was 13 (before the abuse) that wasn't very hard on me at all, the ones this year have been fairly traumatic for me. I've had nightmares about them, I think about them often. I've had flashbacks about one of them as well. Though, this could also be attributed to being in the family stage of my life now.

These just don't seem like they should be actually traumatic events (although I haven't talked to anyone else about this at all before this post so I could be wrong), but because I'm so vulnerable because of the main trauma I'm reacting to it more than I feel like I would would if that event hadn't happened prior to these.

[SorryShaped]

I can see how all of that would be very traumatic, each piece it's own problem. I think it would all definitely effect me severely.

[LiveThruFear]

@seesaw sounds like you worked in the service industry at a restaurant?? I still have nightmares from waiting tables and all the stupid employee popularity contests!! That’s probably just something you should count your blessings as you no longer have to go back to that environment and let it go moving on to bigger, better, brighter opportunities. It’s not re-traumatizing unless you make it happen to yourself by letting your thoughts dwell on the past instead of here & now. Forgive & draw unemployment because that’s the same thing without paying a lawyer $5-10 grand.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by LiveThruFear

@seesaw sounds like you worked in the service industry at a restaurant?? I still have nightmares from waiting tables and all the stupid employee popularity contests!! That’s probably just something you should count your blessings as you no longer have to go back to that environment and let it go moving on to bigger, better, brighter opportunities. It’s not re-traumatizing unless you make it happen to yourself by letting your thoughts dwell on the past instead of here & now. Forgive & draw unemployment because that’s the same thing without paying a lawyer $5-10 grand.

No, I did not work at a restaurant, never have, in fact.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by LiveThruFear

@seesaw sounds like you worked in the service industry at a restaurant?? I still have nightmares from waiting tables and all the stupid employee popularity contests!! That’s probably just something you should count your blessings as you no longer have to go back to that environment and let it go moving on to bigger, better, brighter opportunities. It’s not re-traumatizing unless you make it happen to yourself by letting your thoughts dwell on the past instead of here & now. Forgive & draw unemployment because that’s the same thing without paying a lawyer $5-10 grand.

I'm not letting discrimination go when I have direct evidence of discrimination. Seeking justice is not necessarily retraumatizing. That's like telling an assault victim not to press charges because they'll have to tell their story.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by LiveThruFear

@seesaw sounds like you worked in the service industry at a restaurant?? I still have nightmares from waiting tables and all the stupid employee popularity contests!! That’s probably just something you should count your blessings as you no longer have to go back to that environment and let it go moving on to bigger, better, brighter opportunities. It’s not re-traumatizing unless you make it happen to yourself by letting your thoughts dwell on the past instead of here & now. Forgive & draw unemployment because that’s the same thing without paying a lawyer $5-10 grand.

I would also like to point out that unemployment only lasts for 12 weeks and it only pays out $3500 at the MAX, which I was getting. So no, it's not comparable at all to the settlement I will most likely get on my lawsuit, and no, my lawyer doesn't cost $5k to $10k. He's paid on contingency, which means he gets a set percentage of what we get through the court or settlement. So he's very motivated to win. And the fraction of money I got from unemployment was nowhere near my salary or enough to pay my bills. There seems to be some kind of misconception thatt unemployment is more than a pittance or that it lasts forever. It doesn't.

Also, the jobs in my industry are very competitive and I'm at the director-level, typically reporting directly to the CEO, so those jobs take at last six months to land. So 12 weeks of unemployment is nothing. And when I have a very viable lawsuit with direct proof of discrimination, I'm going to pursue it.

But regardless, the question in my original post was is it possible for a toxic/hostile work environment to retraumatize you. Which is not what your response addresses.

Thanks,
Seesaw

[SorryShaped]

You do also have the option of disability via social security, at least the US does to help with what you need. It's paid based on what you made. If you cannot work due to this stuff happening, then you just can't. I didn't want to accept that I was a failure and couldn't work, but it was already obvious.
I do think you should be suing them, all of them, until they feel trauma in their wallets. You've got to sue for far more than their insurance covers, really hurt the company. Then maybe they'll pay better attention. Make sure your lawyer is very aggressive, because they will likely settle out of court for usually more than you get by going to court. Judges do that with bigger companies for some reason, reduce the amounts.

[seesaw]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

You do also have the option of disability via social security, at least the US does to help with what you need. It's paid based on what you made. If you cannot work due to this stuff happening, then you just can't. I didn't want to accept that I was a failure and couldn't work, but it was already obvious.
I do think you should be suing them, all of them, until they feel trauma in their wallets. You've got to sue for far more than their insurance covers, really hurt the company. Then maybe they'll pay better attention. Make sure your lawyer is very aggressive, because they will likely settle out of court for usually more than you get by going to court. Judges do that with bigger companies for some reason, reduce the amounts.

Thanks, sorryshaped. That's the plan. I won't go into detail here but the proof I have is indisputable. This is not just a he said she said case. I plan to make them feel it. And this won't be the first discrimination case they've settled or lost recently.

I am on SSDI actually. And that's what has saved me. I went back to work but you have 3 years within the time that you go back to work to go back on SSDI without having to refile, so I got reinstated easily.

It's really sad that work environments can actually be so toxic and hostile that they traumatize people back onto or into SSDI. The gaslighting and lies that my boss used to tell, and I could prove she was lying (again not going into detail), and yet I had to take her yelling at me to make herself look good when she was lying. It makes me very wary of going back to work. I just don't trust people anymore. Even though I know that my previous jobs weren't like that and that was a very anomalous job. I also know from discussing with other past employees and people who know about the company in the community that it has a terrible reputation.

That helps me feel better a little but it doesn't help with the crazy-making my bosses did to me with their gaslighting and abuse.

Seesaw

[SorryShaped]

Legally rip em a new one. I'm with you on this

[FallDuskTrain]

Originally Posted by seesaw

Does anyone find that after suffering the first trauma that gave them PTSD that they are more highly susceptible to experiencing further trauma?


My initial trauma dates back to my childhood and upbringing in an abusive family. But then, I have found myself twice now in very hostile and toxic work environments that seriously traumatized me to the point of having nightmares and triggering dissociative episodes.


I was laid off from my job in July, and I am suing for discrimination, because there was blatant discrimination against me because of my PTSD. But lately, my nightmares about that place, which was highly toxic, have been intensifying. I'll have dreams where I either relive the firing or run into my ex-boss in public. In all these dreams, I end up going off on her, telling her what a horrible person she is, exposing her for all the lies she has told...etc. And while, in a way that should make me feel good, it doesn't because it means she has gotten the better of me. She has caused me to lose control. She's a troll and you don't feed trolls. The second you do, they pounce back with even more because that's what they want, to see you lose it. I'm trying to let my lawsuit speak for itself, and if I have to go public with my evidence, I will.


I've also been having intensified nightmares about my abusive father.


Is it possible that working through that abusive, hostile, toxic environment retraumatized me?


Seesaw

Unfortunately, it is very likely to happen. Speaking from experience, my traumas (mainly due to sexual and physical abuse) were triggered to a point at which my major depressive disorder was worse than ever (been suffering from it since I was 12. Now I am 40). This happened about six years ago and I am still fighting it.
My traumas were triggered soon after I had stopped working as an humanitarian aid worker. I tried going back but unfortunately it does not work. The past resurfaces in nightmares and I do not have the resources to deal with that.
I wish I had a solution for you.
I am sorry that you are hurting. You sound like a wise and a kind hearted person, like many others in PC. I sincerely hope that your nightmares will soon be replaced with boring dreams of nature and birds.

[Astrada]

Yes, so a psych I recently saw said. Because of unresolved trauma years ago, my current trauma issues are so much worse.

[greatlakesgirl]

Prasozin helps me as well with night terrors for the most part.

[katydid777]

I have also found that new traumas made past traumas, and there symptoms worse. I tried Prasozin, but with my blood pressure med, and my heart meds it dropped my blood pressure down way too low so I had to stop taking it, but it did help some with the night terrors.

[SorryShaped]

Did you try prazosin all the way down to 0.5 mg? It's not known if it works for nightmares at that level. Other meds, particularly blood pressure meds, do have to be adjusted because prazosin is a hypertension med. Sometimes you can replace the other hypertension med with prazosin. You have to be the go-between on your doctors, but it could be worth it.

[katydid777]

Originally Posted by SorryShaped

Did you try prazosin all the way down to 0.5 mg? It's not known if it works for nightmares at that level. Other meds, particularly blood pressure meds, do have to be adjusted because prazosin is a hypertension med. Sometimes you can replace the other hypertension med with prazosin. You have to be the go-between on your doctors, but it could be worth it.

I am pretty sure that is what they started me on. With my blood pressure med, and my 3 different heart meds, taking prazosin would make me pass out. The regular meds I take for my heart slow down the speed blood flows through my heart. I have 3 leaky valves, so my meds couldn't be changed, and my blood pressure medication couldn't be changed to prazosin. It just didn't work for me because of medical issues, but while I was taking it, it did help with some of the nightmares. If I didn't have to take the regular meds I take, I definitely would go for prazosin!!!!!!!