Monster Mommy finally went too far

Werewoman · Jul 21, 2018, 11:14 AM

So a few months back, I was doing research searching out my ex-stepfather molesters whereabouts. I've been tracking him for years.

Now imagine my surprise when during my last stalking session I found that his address had changed - - to my mother's address. She's back with him, the man who molested me as a teenager.

I was speechless. It's not like she doesn't know.

I have written letter after letter, only to reject it and start over again. I want to make it very clear that I will not ever see nor speak to my mother again. She doesn't love me and she doesn't respect me, obviously. I won't be attending her funeral. I want nothing more to do with her.

I you were to write such a letter, what would you say? I know one thing, she didn't just burn the bridge, she stood by laughing as it fell into the water below.

Out There · Jul 21, 2018, 01:31 PM

Maybe you could write the letter , bless it and then burn it ? It's something I've done with my T. It's so painful I know , we don't get closure from these people sadly no matter how we want it. What's going to make you feel better is what's important. Hugs if wanted.

Open Eyes · Jul 21, 2018, 02:08 PM

Werewoman, clearly your mother is just too STUPID to have the capacity to be receptive to anything you could, or even I could write to her if I myself tried to make the effort. Honestly, there are human beings in this world that are just plain STUPID, the kind of STUPID that just can't be fixed.

Werewoman · Jul 22, 2018, 12:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Open Eyes

Werewoman, clearly your mother is just too STUPID to have the capacity to be receptive to anything you could, or even I could write to her if I myself tried to make the effort. Honestly, there are human beings in this world that are just plain STUPID, the kind of STUPID that just can't be fixed.

Interesting choice of words. At one point in my letter to them - I'm writing it to both of them - I point out the abject stupidity of people who hurt kids because the day will come when the child is no longer the vulnerable one, but the abuser.

As a survivor, I won't take advantage of their stupidity, but I bet there are people who do.

Open Eyes · Jul 22, 2018, 04:15 PM

Writing a letter is good for "you" Werewoman, it's a way for you to write down how another person's behavior hurt "you". The one who needs the healing is "you" and often the people that hurt us in some way simply are unable to be receptive to "our" hurts otherwise they would have never have hurt or betrayed us to begin with.

I could NEVER ignore it if someone hurt my daughter in the manor you have shared, and I certainly could NEVER choose this man over my daughter like your mother has. I am very sorry you have this kind of mother, you certainly did nothing to deserve that and I can't blame you for being angry. Given what your mother did, I don't think she is capable of caring no matter what is said to her.

((Caring Hugs)))
OE

BLUEDOVE · Jul 22, 2018, 04:28 PM

I just keep repeating,"don't exist,don't exist",any time they are in
my head.

Werewoman · Jul 23, 2018, 08:43 AM

Maybe after I send it, I'll post it here.

Wild Coyote · Jul 24, 2018, 09:31 PM

I am very sorry for the pain this is causing.

WTF? Why on earth would your mother get involved with him again?
How insulting toward you!

Please take very good care of yourself.

WC

Werewoman · Jul 25, 2018, 07:31 PM

Well, I told my siblings about it. My younger brother is in complete denial, which I expected, but I still felt I should tell him anyway.

Werewoman · 08:01 PM

Here's the letter I sent them, in case anyone is interested.

Possible trigger:

Noble and Norma,

For many years now, I’ve been following you, Noble. I watched as you moved to Farmersville, Bryan, Dallas, and now Colorado Springs. I did it because if the day ever came that left me with nothing left to live for, I’d blow your ****ing brains out from 100 yards out. I spent years practicing at the range, making sure I kept my skills sharp and scaring the men around me in the process. They would often ask me who I was so pissed at – as they admired my tight grouping, they cringed at the same time because they were crotch shots. My favorite fantasy is where I kidnap you, take you to the everglades, then take my 9mm and empty an entire clip into your face, reload, and empty that clip into your crotch. Then leave your body along with the other snakes for them to devour the evidence. To be completely honest, it’s not you I really want dead, it’s the monster that allowed you into the lives of her children and then looked on as you hurt them. I just don’t have it in me to commit matricide, though I certainly have no qualms about killing you. If I had it to do over again, I would have killed you. I couldn’t tell because I was afraid someone I love would kill you for being a pervert and I didn’t want that. While I love my life now, it would not have mattered, you can’t miss what you never had.

Since you are so obsessed with Thank Yous, Norma, thank you for not killing me when you had the chance. You should have, you know. I’m a walking nightmare. I channel it for good, but oh it is so hard. Doing good for broken children is easy, but it’s so hard to not give in to the nightmare of needing vengeance. Think about how stupid it is to hurt a child. Monsters like that never stop to think that a day will come when the child is no longer the small, vulnerable one. You took advantage of my vulnerability. I was small, young, and defenseless. Be thankful I won’t do the same to you. It’s beneath me.

I couldn’t get my brain around what was happening to me, so I stuffed it deep down inside and built a solid brick wall to hide it behind. It worked for a while, until the past came crashing through. I finally saw and heard the child for what she was. The part of me that was broken and dirty. I had abandoned her long ago in the ruins of my memories. Until one day, I could no longer ignore her. And so, I went back into the ruins, where I found her, covered in dirt, with her dress torn and her hair a rat’s nest. The tracks of her tears were clear to see on her face as she looked up at me begging to be allowed to live. So now I give her the life she should have had if it hadn’t been taken from her. People can say I’m crazy, or I’m over medicated, or whatever suits their delusion, but I’m completely sane and she no longer cries. Nothing you or anyone else does or says can change that.

You have the right to have a relationship with anyone you want. I have the right to puke at the thought of my mother being with my molester. That is not a sickness. That’s satanic.

DO NOT EVER contact me again in any way. No more letters, phone calls, surprise visits, using Tom as a go-between or whatever. I won’t be at your funeral. We are done. You have what you want, and I have moved on.

All I have left to say is leave me be.

I mean it.

You didn’t just burn this bridge, you stood back, laughing, as it crashed into the water below.

Wild Coyote · Jul 28, 2018, 01:40 PM

(((((( HUGS ))))))

Werewoman · Jul 28, 2018, 07:57 PM

This is my younger brother's response when I told him they were together again...

"what you are saying is absurd! I am quite sure that is just incorrect information put on the internet by mistake, there is incorrect information every where about every body. I just had to correct about 5 different things on my credit report, one was my son was listed as an AKA. Also they had a phone number listed that I never had! This sort of thing is rampant in information on the internet! Mom was at my house for three weeks selling her house in Bedford, she brought her cat so the cat would not be alone at her house in Colorado Springs. It is just bogus information that you saw on the internet and nothing else! They were married at one time so it is just bad info!"

It's about what I expected, actually. My older brother was not surprised but like me won't have anything to do with her anymore.

Fuzzybear · Jul 29, 2018, 02:45 PM

((((((((( hugs )))))))))

Quarter life · Jul 31, 2018, 03:43 AM

Dear Werewoman.

There is a very simple reason why you are labouring in constructing an appropriate letter to your Mother....The reason is that there simply are no words to convey that kind of disgust. Please be the human voice of reason here...please don't write anything. Please don't allow those creatures anything more of yourself. They took your innocence and your trust, don't give them insight into what's in your mind...That belongs to you and you alone.

My best advice on this is for you to galvanise your resolve, and stride forward into the world...a world where you get to choose how to become the hero of your own life story.

Werewoman, I wish you joy and peace and all the very best moving into a brighter future.

*Laurie* · 11:30 AM

Here's what I'm thinking. I believe that your mother is self-destructive because she hates herself. I believe that she hates herself because she is profoundly emotionally sick and doesn't want to make the necessary changes to be healthier - in part because she doesn't feel that she deserves a better life.

Unfortunately, you have been caught in the web of her sickness. If I were you, I would work on taking the focus off her - and off the jerk who molested you - and truly focus on your own well-being. It's not easy, but I suggest that you stop giving those people any attention. If they "haunt" you, or if you dream about them, see it solely as a path to bringing you back to yourself. To put it simply: let go of that old story and create a new, healthier story.
Best of luck to you.

Werewoman · Jul 31, 2018, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Here's what I'm thinking. I believe that your mother is self-destructive because she hates herself. I believe that she hates herself because she is profoundly emotionally sick and doesn't want to make the necessary changes to be healthier - in part because she doesn't feel that she deserves a better life.

Unfortunately, you have been caught in the web of her sickness. If I were you, I would work on taking the focus off her - and off the jerk who molested you - and truly focus on your own well-being. It's not easy, but I suggest that you stop giving those people any attention. If they "haunt" you, or if you dream about them, see it solely as a path to bringing you back to yourself. To put it simply: let go of that old story and create a new, healthier story.
Best of luck to you.

Oh, I agree with you wholeheartedly. I know she hates herself and she projects that hatred onto me - that I've known for a long time. And I don't mean to sound defensive, but I took the focus off of her a long time ago, it's just that finding out they were together again ripped open some very old scars.
The letter was really to give a voice to my 'others'. They are not alters in the true sense, but they have their own emotions and they are, frankly, very irrational. I never let them 'out' because of this, but they needed to have their say and I'm glad I gave it to them.
As to any fallout, there won't be any. I didn't tell anyone I sent it (except for the hundreds of people who have read this

), but if anyone brings it up, like if she tells my brother, I will make it very clear that no one is to speak of her in my presence again. If they do, I will simply leave, hang up, delete...whatever. You get the idea.

For what it's worth, I've been married for 27 years, most of them good or great

, I wrote my own story with a happy ending.

WW

*Laurie* · Aug 01, 2018, 07:22 PM

Congratulations on your marriage! 27 years is truly a success. And I apologize sincerely if I came off as condescending. I didn't intend to be. I'm an intense person and it seems that intensity comes out strangely sometimes. I'm genuinely sorry about your mom. I grew up with a very challenging mother who was, at times, abusive to me. Even worse was how horribly she treated herself. Sad, sad.

Werewoman · Aug 01, 2018, 09:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

Congratulations on your marriage! 27 years is truly a success. And I apologize sincerely if I came off as condescending. I didn't intend to be. I'm an intense person and it seems that intensity comes out strangely sometimes. I'm genuinely sorry about your mom. I grew up with a very challenging mother who was, at times, abusive to me. Even worse was how horribly she treated herself. Sad, sad.

Intense is okay. It's a very intense topic. No apology needed.

Yeah, she's not kind to herself at all either.

Amyjay · Aug 02, 2018, 04:03 AM

I don't have your anger. I wish I did.

My mother still lives with my father. She never left him.

I wish I could find anger within me. All I have is self hatred.

Werewoman · Aug 03, 2018, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Amyjay

I don't have your anger. I wish I did.

My mother still lives with my father. She never left him.

I wish I could find anger within me. All I have is self hatred.

So did I at one time. The anger comes after you realize none of it is your fault. When you stop blaming yourself, you'll stop hating yourself. Or at least that's the way it went with me.

Werewoman · Aug 09, 2018, 11:14 AM

Well, well, well...I got a response. I didn't read it, and I won't. I was VERY serious when I said no more letters, etc. And does she disrespect my wishes yet again? Of course. It's what she does.

I wonder how long it will take her to notice I never read it. Hmmmm.

Werewoman · Aug 15, 2018, 02:42 PM

After a lot of thought, I got angrier and angrier that they wrote back. After I explicitly told them not to....so even though I threw their letter in the garbage without reading it, i replied with this:

THIS IS NOT A GAME!

I specifically stated that you not contact me in any way, and what’s the first thing you do? Write a letter. It went into the garbage, as will any subsequent communications.

THIS IS MY LIFE AND I DON’T NEED OR WANT YOU IN IT!

For the last time,

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

If you don’t, I will make you.

Werewoman · Aug 23, 2018, 11:18 AM

I woke up and realized...she's never going to leave me alone, so I'm filing a petition for a protective order. Enough is enough.

Werewoman · Nov 12, 2018, 09:53 AM

And just when things can't get any more complicated, my nephew, Tommy, tried to kill himself by jumping out of a moving car. I have not yet gone to Ft. Worth to see him yet because he's still unconscious. He'll probably survive, but we don't know if or when he'll wake up.
Eventually I will go and I'm sure my mother will be there. I have decided to make it clear that if she doesn't want me to enforce a protective order, don't be at the hospital when I get there. Period. I'm not playing games.

Buffy01 · Nov 28, 2018, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Werewoman

So a few months back, I was doing research searching out my ex-stepfather molesters whereabouts. I've been tracking him for years.

Now imagine my surprise when during my last stalking session I found that his address had changed - - to my mother's address. She's back with him, the man who molested me as a teenager.

I was speechless. It's not like she doesn't know.

I have written letter after letter, only to reject it and start over again. I want to make it very clear that I will not ever see nor speak to my mother again. She doesn't love me and she doesn't respect me, obviously. I won't be attending her funeral. I want nothing more to do with her.

I you were to write such a letter, what would you say? I know one thing, she didn't just burn the bridge, she stood by laughing as it fell into the water below.

You could write the letter ou but don't even send it. We're the police ever involved in these crimes? Let people around know about her ex.

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