[Blknblu]

Going through health issues last two years. Now, going to checkups are
Panic inducing. I have lost any ground beneath my feet.
And am told that it is attention seeking. And it feels as though
I am Mia.

heya Blknblu,

all of us are here for you. I am sorry you feel that you are attention seeking. I am sure that your health concerns are 100 percent genuin (I don't know what they are, but I don't have too). that's why you're on the site, to find support

hugs

did you want to say something about " smells?"

I notice that's the title of this thread

[Kathleen83]

Hi, Blknblu. I hope you are feeling a little stronger today.

[Blknblu]

Smells, at the hospital cancer, chemo, radiation was scared and having fam issues at same time.
Too complex, but involves elder parent and unsuportive husband.
During this time both my dogs died within months of each other. One had heart attack here at home, and my girl had lymphoma at the same time.... Vet clinics are still hard.
Smells, certain foods, areas.
I was in a living breathing nightmare, alienated too many.
Don’t think there's much left of
This shell... It's empty, and too late.
Too old for this.

[Kathleen83]

I'm so sorry you're suffering so much. I understand the smells aspect. For years I'd near pass out, just stepping into a hospital. It can get easier. An empty shell just means you get to pick and choose what to fill it up with, this go - around.

[sarahsweets]

I can identify with the smells thing. I cant smell old spice aftershave or cologne because it paralyses me.

[Lilwren]

Omg you sound like me. I'm in tears right now. I hope you find some comfort somehow. smells suck for me sometimes, but my biggest trigger is sounds ... music. OMG ... songs! If I hear certain songs I get physically ill and can't skip them fast enough. The mind is a terrible thing sometimes. The sleeping gas at the dentist! BUT they say it has no smell ... BS! Cologne I bet would trigger me too. My neighbor recently died of brain cancer and she could only listen to "music without words". I guess the lyrics messed up her brain even more ... kind of short circuited it. With my MS I'm finding I have the same issue. I can only listen to music with words when I am in the right mood otherwise I listen to reiki or yoga channels on spotify.

We just had to put one dog to sleep that had cancer and my remaining little girl has congestive heart failure and keeps me scared everyday. I'm so afraid I won't be able to handle it when she has a fatal attack. Jilly, my little dog, coughs a lot and I am constantly listening so I can go help her if she needs me. Must be part of my triggering thing. I'll be so grateful to never hear a dog cough again. I know that sounds shallow, but OMG it's gut wrenching to hear that coming from my baby girl and I can't fix her!

Blknblu I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved doggies ... I know exactly how hard that is. Dogs give sooooo much love. Love that is so tangible and enough to fill a room. When they leave it leaves such a big hole in our hearts. I hope your pain eases over all of your traumas.