[whoever]

I've been doing geneology research on line for several days. My Dad was a holocaust survivor, and I've seen some pretty awful stuff on the sites that have survivor lists, and lists of the dead. Now I'm thinking Daddy lived through all that, he saw his family sent off to die, and countless other familys too. He was physically and emotionally damaged the rest of his life, through no fault of his own, he was just born in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So if he survived all that, what busines do I have whining about the damage done to me by an abusive man that everyone told me was bad news, or the things I experienced as a result of other bad choices that I made? I've had some rough times, but darn sure nothing that compares to what i've seen on my screen these last few days. Am I just a crybaby that needs to get over it? And how would I do that?

[Perna]

No you're not a crybaby and your father was a different generation with different "rules" as to what was talked about and, as you say, "he was physically and emotionally damaged the rest of his life" so it's not quite true that, he survived that/I'm not "surviving" this? You're surviving great! It's good you were born now and able to talk about these things and get comfort from others, etc. Besides, one can't "compare" what someone else went though with what we go through, we only have/know what our own experiences are in whole and how they have affected us, etc.

Looking at the pictures one "imagines" what it would be like but that's only imagine. Think of how you felt during "the Cold War" for example and how it is portrayed and it's obvious to you that it's a different thing than what you know but younger people who didn't live through it like we did are going to think differently of us? Not as "extreme" as the Holocaust and what you're researching but it was a whole different world; I do genealogy research too and wonder how my great grandparents got along with no car, furnace, modern kitchen/grocery stores, etc. It seemed "normal" to them though and your father's griefs were part of his life, not separate from them like they are from yours.

You can't just "get over" your abuses because some of it has been hardwired into your brain and it takes time to "reroute" around the bad stuff, if one is able to do it for themselves at all. It takes a lot of time and work, therapy, etc. I would look for a good therapist if you don't have one and work with them for a bit, see what you can see about making your life "better"/more comfortable for yourself?

[Ocean13]

Don't punish yourself. You have to learn to live with and deal with the wrongs in your life that you've experienced. Your father had to deal with the horrible things that happened to him too. You're not trying to whine..you're trying to survive with something that is happening to you present day. Your father will always have his demons about the horrors that happened. But you both have a chance to celebrate the life you have now! So, go out and enjoy the world.
Peace

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whoever said:
I've been doing geneology research on line for several days. My Dad was a holocaust survivor, and I've seen some pretty awful stuff on the sites that have survivor lists, and lists of the dead. Now I'm thinking Daddy lived through all that, he saw his family sent off to die, and countless other familys too. He was physically and emotionally damaged the rest of his life, through no fault of his own, he was just born in the wrong place at the wrong time.
So if he survived all that, what busines do I have whining about the damage done to me by an abusive man that everyone told me was bad news, or the things I experienced as a result of other bad choices that I made? I've had some rough times, but darn sure nothing that compares to what i've seen on my screen these last few days. Am I just a crybaby that needs to get over it? And how would I do that?

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[Randy33]

You need to know PTSD is a disorder, an illness like any other, mental or physical. We can no more snap out of a mental illness than we can cancer or diabetes,etc. What is important is that if your symptoms are destressing, you see a therapist and get some help. There are MANY different approaches to treatment for PTSD, depending on the person and the trauma and whether it is acute or chronic. Make sure you are working with someone who is open to that and will follow your lead and be flexible about treatment. There are some who one do it one way only and if that is not the type you need, it can actually make you worse. A good example is Exposure treatment can be helpful for acute PTSD but harmful for chronic.

There is so much new research and new studies that are now available that demonstrate abnormalities in the brain that contribute or are responsible for your experience being traumatic into PTSD. There can be 10 people in a room who all experience, say an armed robbery, and although they may all be initially traumatized by it, 9 might be able to move on from it with no lasting affects and the 10th one developes PTSD.

The amygdala and hiccopamus are two areas of the brain that are involed in the flight or fight response and the ability to recover from trauma and it is possible there are defects responsible for this. Read all you can get your hands on, education is key.

good luck.

[_Hope_]