[Numbers]

sometimes when triggered by a person I act violently. Like panic and I just lash out. It is like a switch I don't do it intentionally it's just reflex and I don't think.
It has nothing to do with anger problem cause I'm not angry - I just don't think, and it's horrible not to be able to control my actions like that.
I've had an anger problem but I've worked on that and I haven't hurt anyone because of anger for a very long time.
I'm just wondering if that is PTSD? and what can I do about it?

[(JD)]

Have you been dx'd with PTSD? Sorry , I don't keep track very well.

A flashback can cause protective violence, yes.
I do think there can be a lot of anger associated with PTSD, too, though.

Therapy work helps work through the issues surrounding the cause of the PTSD.

[Numbers]

yeah been dx'ed with PTSD, and I have a therapist and going to see her in a couple of days.. just really bothering me.

I do have anger issues, but it doesn't come with the anger. No warning at all, no emotion.. jus instinct.. does that make sense? I don't even remeber how I get there just snaps.

[(JD)]

Well then yes indeed that sounds like a flashback. Why not read up on them and see? You seem to be triggered from time to time that results in this.

[vanna123]

I know that I can get verbally violent if I feel even a little bit put on the defensive or feel i'm being put down or attacked

[mtd]

I have also been dx with PTSD from abuse as a child. I do lash out when triggered, especially if someone touches me and I don't see them coming and super especially if anyone goes near my head. I lash out with words (very loud usually) and have swung my fists instinctively. I don't plan it, intend it or mean it -- it just happens. It feels like a defense, even if it's a total overreaction. It shows up other ways also, like I can't stand it when people are yelling at each other (my abusers screamed at me). I have to leave the room now and have even yelled out for people to stop yelling because I can't stand it.

What to do? There's so much I do to protect myself and others. I tell people very deliberately not to touch me and if I have any trust in them I tell them why. When I have lashed out or yelled out, I sit down someplace quiet to figure out the trigger. It might be that the person looks like one of the attackers and reminds me of them. It could be where I was touched. It could be that I am just having extra stress at the time and my trigger point is lower than usual. Whatever it is, I write about, draw it on paper to run my hands over it -- whatever I can to understand it and try to calm it down and take the power out of it. I tell myself what hurt me before can't hurt me now. And I breath slowly and deeply trying to release the trigger and what's behind it.

Most of all, I forgive myself for lashing out. I can and do apologize if I hurt someone or overreact to them, but I have to honor for myself that I am still healing, I am not always in total control, and I am working hard to get better. I won't let myself carry guilt from it. These are symptoms and I'm doing all I can. Carrying guilt will make it worse for me. I need to be sensitive to the fact that I lash out not because I'm a bad person, but because bad things were done to me and I'm still experiencing that pain, fear and anxiety. To me, my PTSD symptoms deserve the same regard as symptoms someone might have from a physical illness -- they might need patience, a hand getting up, or whatever to live with their illness. Well, so do I, but my needs are emotional. I need space, empathy and patience.

Hope these thoughts help.

be well,

mtd

[Numbers]

yes I was having flashback so maybe it's normal.
thanks for sharing mtd. you are right, we shouldn't feel guilty. But sometimes it is hard not to. Think you have a good point about us having needs just like with physical illnesses. Very few people who don't know about these things understand that.
I also write it down like you do and it does help me to understand why I do what I do.
I never lash out verbally at people though, maybe I should learn to use my mouth more.

[Rhapsody]

YES........ I feel the ANGER left over inside of us (IF NOT DEALT WITH) could bring out violent behavior / actions when one is resonated by some thing or some one that once hurt or damaged them.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[Perna]

Yes, I believe one can lash out because of fear. To work on it, I'd look at my triggers and work on disarming them. What happens/is said that makes you push someone away? That's not anger, that's fear (which is often at the bottom of anger). We get angry when we have lost or feel like we are going to lose something important to us. Threats, perceived or real, cause a fight or flight reaction and sometimes, if cornered, for me the "flight" can turn into fight. I don't like feeling helpless more than I dislike fighting/anger so when I'm afraid, after a bit I get too anxious that I'm going to be "stuck" helpless so I lash out; at myself, the circumstances, innocent bystanders. . . :-) Whatever gets me "moving" again towards resolving whatever the threat is.

[lovemesimple]

I have ptsd and sometimes when it's triggered I definitely become over protective and dno't let anybody touch me, and can be violentt..... it helps to let someone you know what might happen if you think your situation might trigger somethiing-just to be safe

[__zh]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
mtd said:
... I am not always in total control, and I am working hard to get better. I won't let myself carry guilt from it. These are symptoms and I'm doing all I can. Carrying guilt will make it worse for me. I need to be sensitive to the fact that I lash out not because I'm a bad person, but because bad things were done to me and I'm still experiencing that pain, fear and anxiety. To me, my PTSD symptoms deserve the same regard as symptoms someone might have from a physical illness -- they might need patience, a hand getting up, or whatever to live with their illness. Well, so do I, but my needs are emotional. I need space, empathy and patience...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

thank you so much for sharing that mtd. after today's therapy session this post and the above excerpt are especially applicable to our lives. your words are good reminders for all.

[(JD)]

Actually, PTSD is listed as a MEDICAL disorder also. Not everyone realizes the full scope of the disorder, not even many of those who suffer with it. It is a bear of a disorder. I work very hard at containing any rage/anger that may try to show when triggered.. but I've been working on this for 20 years. I sure wish I was farther along in my healing.

TC for all