I don't do well in a medical setting of any kind, but I start with a new Dr. today and I am already a nervous wreck.

I'm not afraid of any pain or anything like that, actually I'm the opposite. I always seem to have a "go ahead and hurt me I'll show you how tough I am" attitude.

It's the "lay back on the table etc" remarks that start the blood pumping. Of course my head "knows" it all stems from the abuse but my body has not caught up yet and I usually am either frozen or I have a meltdown.

Now I know some of you will think "well, Orange_Blossom, just tell your Dr. you are a child abuse survivor." But how can I admit that to some stranger when it's hard enough to admit it to myself.

I downloaded all the forms I have to fill out and the first thing they want is a family history and what their health issues are. It looked like this.



I look at the list and can't help but think I'm next.

((( Orange )))


You're not the only one who doesn't like doctors. I really can't go into a hospital or medical setting unless I'm with my girlfriend, and even then I panic. Luckily, my doctor knows me pretty well and is aware of my problem with medical staff, but in my old town I wasn't permitted to go in the hospital without security following me, because I was known there for losing my cool and having a complete meltdown. I wasn't even 18 at the time, but apparently they thought I merited being tailed by security. Just the sight of a doctor makes me very uneasy.

I'm sorry about your family. It must be scary to look at that list, but just because you are related by blood, it does not mean you will follow in those footsteps.

Take care.

[Typo]

(((((((Orange_Blossom)))))))))

Doctors aren't really fun, I have bigger problems with hospitals though.

It's okay hun, I know how deppressing it is to fill out that form, I had one that asked for my complete family history such as grandmothers and grandfathers, to look at that list and see all the deaths or various health conditions is terrifying, but just because they had health problems doesnt' mean the same for you.
It will be okay
Silver

[pachyderm]

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Orange_Blossom said:
It's the "lay back on the table etc" remarks that start the blood pumping. Of course my head "knows" it all stems from the abuse but my body has not caught up yet and I usually am either frozen or I have a meltdown.

Now I know some of you will think "well, Orange_Blossom, just tell your Dr. you are a child abuse survivor." But how can I admit that to some stranger when it's hard enough to admit it to myself.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Do you have to tell them that? Can you not tell them of your anxiety without mentioning all the details? Wait until they ask for more before saying anything?

[gimmeice]

((((((((((( Orange_Blossom )))))))))))))))))))))
Doctors absolutely terrify me, going into a doctor's office is a huge trigger for me. I hope your appointment goes well.

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Griffe said:
((( Orange )))

I'm sorry about your family. It must be scary to look at that list, but just because you are related by blood, it does not mean you will follow in those footsteps.

Take care.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thanks Griffe,

It startled me to see it written like that. It reminds me of the time I took some wedding pics to T's office and laid them out on the table They were pictures of my grandparents, aunts and uncles etc, as well as my immediate family. To make her understand the magnitude of loss, I started covering there faces with pennies. It was startling even to me.

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Silversparrow said:
(((((((Orange_Blossom)))))))))

just because they had health problems doesnt' mean the same for you.
It will be okay
Silver

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I do know this. Really, I do. But when my father died, it was so traumatic for me that I worried myself sick (as a young child) all the way into adulthood, that I was going to die too. I fought off sleep at night because my grandmother told me he "died in his sleep." Well, I thought for sure I was a goner. Of course when you're ten, fighting off sleep til 10 o'clock is like all night.

No, you are right. I don't (and did not) say anything except that I has some anxiety. It has been suggested to me before that I tell them so they'll explain what they're doing so you won't freak as much. But, I know what they're doing and I still freak. I just zipped my lip.

Thanks Gimmieice,

I was a big girl.

I was nervous though, but I maintained my dignity, lol.

It doesn't help that my grandmother died of Multiple Myeloma and I ended up with overlapping Myeloproliferative disorders.

(((((orange)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
sitting on the curb by you

I heard a song that reminded me of us today but I forget. I'll let you know if I remember.

Thanks for sitting with me.

[katheryn]

can i come sit with you two

Of course lil' bird.

Muffinhead, I'm posting the song in Videos now.

[RozG]

(((((((( O_B ))))))))

it's not much but i DO care about you and am here for you always you know?

((( Roz ))))

Thanks so much.

[HALLIEBETH87]

*love*

[Kiya]

OMG yes orangeblossom, that is the worst part - "lie back, relax, I'm just going to..."
I know what they're going to do and I'm NOT relaxed nor can i be.
Sounds like you got through ((((((((Orange!!!))))))))
Glad you were able to tell them of the anxiety! That's a big step. I don't think i even told mine for like 4 months and even then i had to write it down.
I'm out here if you need anything.
kiya
hmmmm that reminds me i see mine next week. But she never uses the "table" =)

{{{ HALLIEBETH87 }}}

{{{ Kiya }}}

Well, even if I hadn't said anything they'd know, lol. I was shaking like a leaf. But the good news is I survived. Thanks for the support.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((( orange ))))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

(((((((((((((((((((orange)))))))))))))))))))))

you are a star .... you did get thru it .....be proud, thinking of you ..... huggies, Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxxo

Thanks everyone. I have to go back in two weeks, lol. I'll just bump this up.