I cannot do this

Orange Blossom,

I'd like to share my story and let you come to your own conclusions.

For 6 long years I was in an extremely violence relationship. I'm talking
mutliple broken bones and still visible scars from being cut. * I became a monster; I didn't know myself nor did anyone else. * My mothers mental health began to fail and I started to say things to her and to degrade her much in the manner that I was being treated. * My mother was living in my house and I in an apartment. * Mom was unable to really take care of herself, yet her pride was solid. After several broken bones from falling, I talked to her about an assisted living facility. I did alot of research and selected several for us to visit. It never happened. One day I checked online her bank account as I did mine daily and I was shut out from logging in. A call to the bank and I was off the account. My behavior and verbal abuse resulted in her signing over everything she owns including all the money in the bank to a neighbor down the street.
I have not heard from nor heard anything about my mother in multiple years now, and oh yes we've tried, to no avail. We do know that they are in another county. The couple who did this still mow yard in my neighborhood every two weeks.....just imagine my heartache

I have been being TX for Chronic Post Traumatic Stress for 18 months now.

All the damage he did to me, including my daughters will no longer speak to me, yet my actions while in this relationship cost the my mother.

I do remember her asking me if I was being beaten, I replied yes and she responded " I forgive you".

I'm so sorry to hear that Sunny.

Thanks for sharing your story.

Thanks everyone, for the continued support. I will keep you updated if there is any change.

((((((((((((((((orange))))))))))))))))))))

your a good person that life has dealt some really horrible blows too,
and after every blow your return full of humour and kindness for everyone else
we will carry on supporting you as long as you need it

((( lil' bird )))

you are in my thoughts and best wishes

((( Hugs to you, Cedar S )))

My mother just informed me that she does not want to continue the medication.

She said "If I'm going to die anyway, I want to feel good and not be sick from the meds."

Part of me knew she would stop the minute it started to give her side effects. Part of me understands and respects her wishes.

Part of me wants to run and hide and cry myself to sleep.

I am trying to stay strong. She deserves a good quality of whatever time she has left and me being a bumbling idiot isn't going to make her feel one bit better.

You aren't being a bumbling idiot at all.

You are dealing with huge stuff. I can sure relate to feeling the need to run and hide and cry ourselves to sleep.

Are you able to get plenty of time for rest and relaxation?

i know you are not a bumbling idiot just a daughter who cares about her mother

((((((((((((((orange_blossom)))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((mother)))))))))))))))

((((((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
all as I can do is sit here with you while you cry
go ahead its the best way to let it out
we can just sit here toghter
I am here with you
muffin

((((((((((((Orange_Blossom))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((( Orange )))))))))))))

My mother has gone home to her own house.

She is very independent and wants to try being on her own.

She is feeling better and she's eating a bit. That was the agreement. That I would bring her home if she promised to eat and get enough liquids and use her oxygen.

I know she's feeling better. She's calling me Nurse Ratchet.

Once again, thanks for the outpouring of support. It means so much.

Its hard all round isnt it. Seems like your mum knows what she wants to do and as you say its important she gets to do that.

We have you all in our thoughts

I've had most of the day all to myself. I needed it. I'm utterly exhausted yet feeling VERY guilty because I'm not at her house.

I have called her once and will do so again in an hour or so. But for the most part, I have just been vegging out.

you need to veg out. You have been working like a trojan and deserve to sit back, take a deep breath and strech your roots

((((((((((((( Orange ))))))))))))))

Well I just had my reply eaten by cyberspace too lol.. Anyways.. Hon, please dont feel guilty for having this time to recoup yourself. You've been thru hell and back the past few weeks. Physically , emotionally and mentally, your exhausted. Why shouldnt you have this time to rest? I think your well deserving of it. I think its fine that your just calling her and checking in. Your not abandoning her , just letting her have her wishes as she can right now. Your being respectful of that in safe ways. There isnt much more you can do than to let her live things out as safely as she wants at this time. You've been a good daughter. She knows this, I think you know it too. I know we all know it here. So please give yourself this break to enjoy.

((( Furry Paws )))

((( Beth the bug )))

I am doing the best I can. That's all anyone can do. I just talked to her. She's doing good. Was feeling light-headed earlier but it has passed. Thanks so much for all your kindness and support.

Orange Blossom