[ColorMeSunny]

* I would suppose that I am older than most of you in this group,
however, I do believe than NO ONE IS IMMUNE TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. * I
am a professionally educationed women, divoced after 24 years, and
did not accept anything othet than lunch dates as I had a 14 yr old
daughter at home to raise and as I thought then and now to set an
example for.

In any event, I hooked up with someone after 4.5 years, who literaly
beat me senseless for 6 long years. My profession was Public Health,
therfore I know medicine.
I endured 3 cases of bi-lateral broken ribs, choking to the point of
blacking out and wearing turtle necks in the summer in florida....I
still bear the scars on my right arm from him cutting me.

It took 2.5 years to get out safe. He was targeting my family un-be -
knowest to them.

In any event, I'm certain several of you can relate to taking the
brutal punishment in effort to save your family.

Here is my delimmena ...........both of my daughters have turned
their back on me..My girls are the only family I have. They view me
as being weak, incompenent, vile, and a LOSER....which I'm not. Now
after being / feeling safe 18 months ( yes I still have nightmares
nightly, flashbacks, intrusive thoughts, and emotional (crying /
rage ) outburst.

My theraptist has no question that I am dealing with PTS and yet my
daughters are only interested in what they are going to inherit.

My quandery is it's hard to let go, however I certainly hope that it
will not be to late for any of us before they attempt to
understand/tolerate my errratic behavior due to PTS.

Althugh I certainly hope no one else is being rejected by their
children, I would appreciate any input regarding the efects on the
violated women and her family who are degrading more so than he did.

With Faith, Hope , and Sincerity,
SUNNY

[Sannah]

I am sorry that you had to go through that Sunny and so glad that you did what you had to do to escape it. I am sorry that things are not going well between you and your children. If you don't mind me asking, did your children have a difficult upbringing?

[Fuzzybear]

Good post, as always, Sannah!

((( Sunny ))) Safe hugs to you.

I just gave someone a link to the explanation and criteria for Complex PTSD. Sounds a lot like what you're describing.

PTSD is short-term trauma, Complex is long-term.

I gave people close to me reading materials. Somehow seeing it in print makes it more tangible.

There is a tendency to blame the victim.

A person who has been abused repeatedly is sometimes mistaken as someone who has a "weak character."

Because of their chronic victimization, in the past, survivors have been misdiagnosed by mental-health providers as having Borderline, Dependent, or Masochistic Personality Disorder. When survivors are faulted for the symptoms they experience as a result of victimization, they are being unjustly blamed.

Researchers hope that a new diagnosis will prevent clinicians, the public, and those who suffer from trauma from mistakenly blaming survivors for their symptoms.

Here is the link. http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdo...plex_ptsd.html

[Sannah]

Thank you Fuzzy! I am so glad that you have spoken to me here!

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Orange_Blossom

((( Sunny ))) Safe hugs to you.

I just gave someone a link to the explanation and criteria for Complex PTSD. Sounds a lot like what you're describing.

PTSD is short-term trauma, Complex is long-term.

I gave people close to me reading materials. Somehow seeing it in print makes it more tangible.

There is a tendency to blame the victim.

A person who has been abused repeatedly is sometimes mistaken as someone who has a "weak character."

Because of their chronic victimization, in the past, survivors have been misdiagnosed by mental-health providers as having Borderline, Dependent, or Masochistic Personality Disorder. When survivors are faulted for the symptoms they experience as a result of victimization, they are being unjustly blamed.

Researchers hope that a new diagnosis will prevent clinicians, the public, and those who suffer from trauma from mistakenly blaming survivors for their symptoms.

Here is the link. http://www.ncptsd.va.gov/ncmain/ncdo...plex_ptsd.html

Good post and I agree!!

(((((((((( Sunny ))))))))))))

[ColorMeSunny]

First let me thank you all for your kind words. * I did follow the link regarding CHRONIC POST TRUMATIC STRESS and found it to be very useful. * At this time in my life I am attempting to view life as good and making efforts to distance myself from others who continuously "drag my down". I still have no friends to speak of; collateral damage.* Last few nights the nightmares were very strong and endless vivid flashbacks the next day resulted in me drinking far too many beers far too early in the morning. * I think I've figured out that I drink in an effort to punish myself because I'm a failure. * I just need to stick to my RXs instead...yet that need to punish myself remains strong....I also reduces if not eliminates the severity of the flashbacks. * Just rescued a young female boxer for a partner for my male. She's brought both of us much joy. *

In regards to my daughters childhood. My parents spoiled them excessively. * Things began to change in their behavior after their beloved grandfather dies.
The only abuse was that I finally had the oldest locked up for beating me one to many times....I had to put a stop to it as she was starting to go after her younger sister. ( 13 and 8 at the time ). Of course Daddy thought stuff like that was supposed to stay in the family. He was more emotional abusive.
Once again, thank you all for your sharing your wisdom.

Stay Safe,
SUNNY

[Sannah]

Did your oldest daughter witness physical violence? Where did she learn that?

[ColorMeSunny]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Did your oldest daughter witness physical violence? Where did she learn that?

My daughters did not witness any of the violence, they did see plenty of bruises and far too many excuses for broken bones.
I simply think that they are extremely dissappointed in with and don't realize their avoidance is painful.

I am moving on, I'm working on my house and volunteering at a local marine and bird sanctuary several days a week. Next month I begin training to handle snakes, owls, falcons, baby gaters...and I'm ready to start living again.

Thanks for your input, kindly know it is greatly appreciated.
SUNNY