Been avoiding this

((((((orange)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((( Orange ))))))))))))))))

(((( MUFFY AND FUZZY ))))

Two of my favorite animal friends.

((((((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
your the best flower ever awwwwwwww

((((((((((((((( Orange ))))))))))))))))


love,
furry paws

We have been thinking about you today. I know its hard and i hope you are managing

My mother is slowly rising up from the ashes like a phoenix. She is taking baby steps and is still a bit "wobbly" but she is determined to fight this as long as she can.

That is one thing I can proudly say about my mother. She is a fighter and a survivor and I can only hope that when my time comes, I can find her strength and tenacity.

(((((((((((((((((orange_blossom))))))))))))))))

((((((((orange))))))))))))((((((((((((oranges Mom)))))))))))))))))
both fighters

(((((((((((Orange_Blossom)))))))))))

((((( friends )))))



She had two good days then two bad. We see the oncologist on Friday. Can't come soon enough. I think they might need to increase the oxygen level. It's hard to see her age so rapidly. She's always been so strong.

awwwww((((((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Thanks for reminding me muffin.

I sometimes get so caught up in the sadness of life, I forget our purpose here.

awwwwww(((((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
How many times do you have to remind me
Its ok to be sad ............you know i am too on the other side of the comp sometimes...... You and I have hid it so long we forgot we really do cry....
Always with you (((((((((((orange)))))))))))))))))))))))
muffin

(((((((((((((((( Orange ))))))))))))))))


love,
Fuzzy

Had T yesterday and had my first official meltdown over this whole thing with my mother.

I have been fighting to "stay strong" and I come close to crying everyday, but I've sucked it back up. You know the kind I'm talking about the, scrunched up face, quivering lip, tears in eyes with an occassional overflow of a drop or two. And the whoosh--suck it up.

Lost it yesterday with T. Lost it yesterday with hubby when he asked "how'd T go."

I guess it was good because we're off to see the oncologist today and it freed up some room in my messed up head.

My mother has taken a downward turn this past week. I have lots of questions.

My "little kid" cried yesterday. She cried because she realized her "mommy" is really leaving her and she feels abandonded and all alone, just like she was all those years ago in the middle of hell.

The angry teen cried because she thinks "why the hell should I help her when she never helped me."

The adult me cried because I've come to the sad realization that I'll never get what I needed from her. I cried for all the sadness and hell she had in her life too.

But the strong me will be there for her. She is scared. She is sad. She is funny and she is beautiful. She's my mom.

((((((((((((((( Orange )))))))))))))))

My dear friend (((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
so much saddness for you my friend...
sometimes we gotta let those tears out to free up room in us...
everyone of those feelings you are having I understand went threw it when my mom and dad were leaving.............
She will always be your Mom you wrote (((She is scared. She is sad. She is funny and she is beautiful))))
i am glad you can see that
You are a wonderful daughter
a good person
muffin

((((((((((((orange_blossom))))))))))))))))

Thanks buds,

Another long day at the hospital. At least this time they let her go home. She is back on steroids and they took her off the blood pressure medication. She's lost 22 lbs and the dose was too high for her weight. It was lowering her blood pressure much too low, so everytime she stood up she was getting dizzy.

I'm looking to see if I can find her the lightest possible portable oxygen for when we go out because even though she has the small canister that goes over her shoulder, it's too heavy for her so I was carrying it around. She's so tiny that the weight of it makes her labor, and she ends up gasping for breath even on the oxygen.

She won't use the kind that's on wheels because it's not "fashionable" enough.

So I told her I'd look. I'll put a call in to the place tomorrow after I pick up her meds.

The Dr asked her how she felt and my mother said "like horseshit."

((((((((((orange))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
I want you to know I am there with you in heart
muffy

((((((((((((Orange_Blossom)))))))))))))))