PTSD & sense of foreshortened future

notz · 02:26 PM

Quote:

something my mom used to say about me: "once people get to know you, they won't like you".

I bet that's not the only thing she was wrong about!
(shameful and cruel, no right to call herself a mother )

notz

internettie · Dec 29, 2008, 06:36 PM

(((((everyone)))))

Turns out that my mom was wrong about a lot of things. Unfortunately most of those errors are imprinted on my soul. I'm determined to change that. She never should have been a mom, but just didn't know any better. All of her kids paid for her ignorance though.

Can't Remember · Dec 31, 2008, 05:44 PM

thanks internettie. I can completely identify with you and how you feel. I don't plan even a week in advance. I do everything right before I have to. I can't really picture the future or come up with any goals or anything I look forward to. Its just black. I'm getting more detached all the time.

Can't Remember · Dec 31, 2008, 05:47 PM

stumpy I can relate to you as well. How can parents, especially our own mothers, be so cruel. I guess they were already hurt as well and don't know any better. My first clear memory when I was maybe 7 is my mom telling me if I didn't straighten up she'd give me away. I'm sorry you had to feel that too.

phoenix7 · Dec 31, 2008, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Can't Remember

stumpy I can relate to you as well. How can parents, especially our own mothers, be so cruel. I guess they were already hurt as well and don't know any better. My first clear memory when I was maybe 7 is my mom telling me if I didn't straighten up she'd give me away. I'm sorry you had to feel that too.

i think people should have toi take a test before they are allowed to become parents - a lot of people think that words dont do any harm but they can harm as surely as any fist can and leave a mark that lasts fr years - I hope you are talking with a T aobut this and you're other post- take care P7

Can't Remember · Dec 31, 2008, 06:55 PM

I am, thanks P7. Here's to a healthier new year.

Christine1123 · Dec 31, 2008, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by phoenix7

i think people should have toi take a test before they are allowed to become parents

I agree. I wish a psychological exam was a requirement for raising kids. People with an abusive mindset who got pregnant would have to let a family member raise the kids, or give the child up for adoption. Adoptive parents should have to undergo an exam too. But that's jmo...

internettie · Dec 31, 2008, 11:26 PM

It's New Years Eve. For most people it's a time to look back over 2008 and look forward to 2009. Not for me though. I'm so disconnected from my life that I don't have memories of 2008 that really stand out. And I just wouldn't think about looking back over the year. Looking forward is foreign to me too. I wouldn't know what to look forward to. What kind of things do people look forward to? Seriously.

I agree on the parent thing too. There are so many people out there just ruining lives.

phoenix7 · 02:57 AM

I look forward to the day when I can look forward instead of being stuck here in this moment in time - seemingly forever -

I look forward to when I can be open to the world instead of being closed off

I look forward to being healed

I look forward to having a better year than last and I aim to make that a self fullfilling prophecy

internettie · Jan 01, 2009, 07:24 AM

(((((P7)))))

I guess that I'm afraid to have hopes and dreams for the future. What if they don't come true?

Luce · Jan 01, 2009, 08:14 AM

If they don't come true you look at why and what you can do differently to make them happen.

Christine1123 · Jan 01, 2009, 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by internettie

(((((P7)))))

I guess that I'm afraid to have hopes and dreams for the future. What if they don't come true?

It may seem that if you have hopes and dreams you won't be disappointed if things don't work out. But it's good to have hopes and dreams, it provides inspiration for us to achieve our goals. Just remember to be easy on yourself and don't expect anything to happen overnight. Rome wasn't built in a day.

internettie · Jan 01, 2009, 07:00 PM

Today I dared to dream a bit and thought that maybe things can change for me, change for the better. I know it will take time, but what else do I have to do?

I'm going to work with my therapist and come up with some goals, a short term goal at first. Something that is realistic and attainable. Baby steps. And I'll see where things go from there. I still don't think that I'll live to be an old person, but maybe that thought can change too.

Christine1123 · Jan 01, 2009, 08:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by internettie

Today I dared to dream a bit and thought that maybe things can change for me, change for the better. I know it will take time, but what else do I have to do?

I'm going to work with my therapist and come up with some goals, a short term goal at first. Something that is realistic and attainable. Baby steps. And I'll see where things go from there. I still don't think that I'll live to be an old person, but maybe that thought can change too.

That's great, keep up with the baby steps! I wish you best of luck.

phoenix7 · Jan 01, 2009, 10:02 PM

dare to dream - dreams can become reality when you add the plan,

i read somewhere - cant remember where - its not how many times you fall that count - its how many times you get up :0

internettie · Jan 02, 2009, 12:11 PM

(((((everyone)))))

Thank you for the encouragement and support.

It's such a weird thing to realize that I've never believed that I would get older and therefore have never set life goals. I also can't believe that I never heard of the sense of foreshortened future until now. How could I have missed it in all of my 'research'? Oh well. Now I know and I can start looking at this issue with T.

Christine1123 · Jan 06, 2009, 11:28 PM

((internettie))
We're all here for you.

lifelesstraveled · Jan 12, 2009, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by internettie

I do a lot of research on my issues (PTSD being one of them) and had never come across this before. A T who is filling in for my regular T told me about it.

I had been talking about how I just never see myself growing old.

I feel that I am sure that I will die early in life (I'm 48 right now). I have a difficult time making plans for the future and when prompted couldn't name anything that I find interesting or that defines me. There are some things, but they just don't come to mind easily.

This sense of a foreshortened future makes me live day to day, just getting by, with no plans for the coming years. I guess I feel like I don't deserve anything including a life.

Does anyone else have issues with this? Has anyone else heard of it? Just wondering if anyone has worked their way through it.

I am just curious. I don't normally post in this section of PC so I feel kind of out of place, but I wanted to know. This might be a dumb question, but I am not at all familiar with PTSD. Is a sense of a foreshortened future necessarily indicative of PTSD?? I have never been diagnosed with PTSD--though I have never told T these thoughts either. i have never envisioned myself growing old or having children or getting married. I always thought I'd die young somewhere in my late 30s or 40s. i have no clue what on earth would make me think this. I told my boyfriend this and he thought I was crazy. I've always thought it was normal and still feels normal to me.

internettie · Jan 20, 2009, 04:37 AM

I don't know if it is indicative of PTSD. This would be a great thing to talk to your T about though. For me, that foreshortened sense of future has always been with me. It's not unusual for me to feel that way. I'm wondering if I'll ever have a hope of a future.

phoenix7 · Jan 24, 2009, 05:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by internettie

I don't know if it is indicative of PTSD. This would be a great thing to talk to your T about though. For me, that foreshortened sense of future has always been with me. It's not unusual for me to feel that way. I'm wondering if I'll ever have a hope of a future.

I think with time and help it can happen

phoenix7 · Jan 24, 2009, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lifelesstraveled

I am just curious. I don't normally post in this section of PC so I feel kind of out of place, but I wanted to know. This might be a dumb question, but I am not at all familiar with PTSD. Is a sense of a foreshortened future necessarily indicative of PTSD?? I have never been diagnosed with PTSD--though I have never told T these thoughts either. i have never envisioned myself growing old or having children or getting married. I always thought I'd die young somewhere in my late 30s or 40s. i have no clue what on earth would make me think this. I told my boyfriend this and he thought I was crazy. I've always thought it was normal and still feels normal to me.

JMO I think that when you have a traumatic event (such as one that gives you PTSD) you become very much "in the moment" and anything outside of surviving that moment doesnt seem real, you just cant get to it - maybe thats why there doesnt seem to be a future available... just a thought. P7

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PTSD & sense of foreshortened future

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