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Old Dec 28, 2008, 04:22 AM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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Location: Australia
Posts: 8,135
On the outside I am cool calm and in control
Inside I live in a storm of fear, sadness and despair.

On the outside I do my job, fulfil my duties.
Inside I drag myself kicking and screaming to work because I dont want to be there, afraid of what might happen.
And kicking and screaming home because once there I dont want to leave to go home, afraid of being alone with me.

On the outside I appear better, I have moved on.
Inside, I am stuck, locked in a room with no escape from my demons.

On the outside I survived.
Inside I die a little more each day, afraid to live.

On the outside I try to help others get better, provide hope where I can.
Inside I have little hope left.

But still I try to bring the inside and the outside together before its too late, before the damage becomes permanent and the wheels stop turning.
Hanging on with no tears, because there are none left because that part of me is broken beyond repair.

Holding on tight to the stone that says HOPE in my pocket.
Knowing that I am better now than I have ever been, have travelled further along the road to recovery towards life than i have ever done, and trying to believe that I am not stuck here forever.
Holding onto the future whiteknuckled and alone.
I have to believe tomorrow will be a better day, with just a little peace - just a small part to help me make it through.
I have to believe that life can be better than this and be more grateful for what i already have. P7
Thanks for this!
Christine1123, muffy, notz, skymonk

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  #2  
Old Dec 28, 2008, 09:26 AM
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skeksi skeksi is offline
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I hear you.

{{{P7}}}
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #3  
Old Dec 28, 2008, 09:40 AM
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Angel_of_the_Past Angel_of_the_Past is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2007
Location: Ohio
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...right with ya!
Angel
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Peace does not dwell in outward things, but within the soul...
Ange
l
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #4  
Old Dec 28, 2008, 10:15 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Posts: 19,179
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #5  
Old Dec 28, 2008, 10:56 AM
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Mouse_ Mouse_ is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2007
Location: Sch of hard knocks.
Posts: 2,179
P7 .
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #6  
Old Dec 28, 2008, 11:40 AM
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MINIME MINIME is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: NO WHERE
Posts: 1,515
I know what you are saying. I know it. I know that feeling. I wish that I could help you and make it better for you. I wish that I could undo what was done. However that is imposiable even in australia. I want you to know that I am here for you as best as I can be. I hear you and wish that we could have coffee together still. ((HUG))
stephanie
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Happy fall my friends
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #7  
Old Dec 28, 2008, 03:22 PM
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Capp Capp is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Third Star On The Left
Posts: 1,096
P7

heard every word

Cap
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The most dangerous enemy is the one in your head telling you what you do and don't deserve.
~~unknown~~

http://capp.psychcentral.net
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #8  
Old Dec 29, 2008, 02:55 PM
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Christine1123 Christine1123 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: IL
Posts: 187
So true.

Physically, I am no longer in that horrible place. But emotionally, I feel like I am trapped in that awful room where everything happened. I wonder if I'll ever get free.

We're all here for you.
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #9  
Old Dec 30, 2008, 02:13 AM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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Location: Australia
Posts: 8,135
thankyou - P7
  #10  
Old Dec 30, 2008, 07:21 PM
Anonymous091825
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((((phoenix))) so well written
you said (((Holding on tight to the stone that says HOPE in my pocket.)))

Hang on tight to that hope its very strong...
remember you matter
muffy
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #11  
Old Jan 01, 2009, 12:29 AM
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MINIME MINIME is offline
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Member Since: May 2008
Location: NO WHERE
Posts: 1,515
Thanks for the message. You are such a good friend. ((HUG))
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Happy fall my friends
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
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