[inkblot]

A guy who did something to me a few years ago is back in the system. He stayed where I was at last night. I could be in for more (emotional) trouble if I see him around at other sites. I feel mellow today. Last night I was afraid of myself as far as emotions.

[Fuzzybear]

Be safe and take care ((((((((((((((((Inky))))))))))))))))

[(JD)]

((((inky)))) stay safe, ok?

What about your emotions last night frightened you inky?

I'm sorry you've come across this person again.

Do all you need to for your safety and well being........regardless of what anyone else may think! Like the others in here have said......take care of you and be safe.

[inkblot]

I was afraid of emotions--afraid of being emotional, afraid of the emotions themselves, afraid of others seeing me with emotions, afraid of what do I do if something happens or what if--will something more happen and how much more. Afraid of how will I react, in what ways. I saw him again last night a couple hours before the site even opened at the local grocery store in the parking lot. I got more emotional than I did the night before. I eventually left a voice mail for my "T" but told him he didn't have to call back because once I did go in the site, my phone wouldn't work there--no cell signal. I am going to see him today anyway. I've had some harder times lately with everything. I thought it would be good to update him since its been so long besides. Good timing for an appointment, I guess. I left my dear T a voice mail earlier in the week that I probably actually needed meds (I'm not on any psych meds) more than I needed an appointment with him. I don't want them, but I do know that it would have been of benefit lately if I did take them. Sooner or later, I hate to say it. I have no insurance right now, so I can't really afford much.

[Mindy]

I can so relate, Inkblot! My exhusband/source of trauma has also intruded into the place online I thought was safe. He also keeps pushing the limits of the protective order. Talk about triggers. It's hard sometimes to be assertive, but you can do it. I still have to talk myself into it and remind myself why I got the protective order in the first place. I'm not too terrific at it yet, but I'm trying.

I understand the fear of emotion as well... the automatic emotional responses that kick in and take over so easily. This site, it seems, is the last safe haven that I have.

Just keep trying... you CAN do it. Oh, and I couldn't function without Zoloft, really! Take care of you. I'm still learning how myself.