[splitimage]

ok so this is a relatively minor problem, but it's seriously messing with my abilities to approach the dating scene. Objectively, I was a funny looking kid. My upper jaw was deformed, and I hade a crooked nose with a huge bump on it. Putting it politely I looked like a bird with a beak on a bad day. Orthodontia treatment restructured my jaw to be normal and at 16 I had a nose job to straighten it and smooth out the bump. but as a child and a teen I was always told I wasn't pretty and that it was a good thing I was smart since I'd never get anywhere with my looks. My mom wasn't that into makeup anyway, but she died when I was 13, so I never had a female role model to teach me about makeup and stuff. So in my head I have this firm belief that I'm unattractive. Looking at pictures of myself, I can objectively conceed that I'm not a dog. I have nice hair, and I like my eyes. I wear glasses, but I wear really stylish frames. I don't do makeup (It feels weird), and I'm a bit overweight. I try to dress attractively (Having 0 sense of fashion doesn't help.) But there's this disconnect with my brain. I look at picture's of myself, and see a relatively attractive self confident woman, but I don't recognize her as myself. It's a weird feeling.

So how do I get over believing that I'm still that funny looking kid?

--splitimage

[phoenix7]

I wish I knew

I think it has to do with accepting and loving yourself

[susie2009]

I read your post, I feel the same way you do. Except for me I look in the mirror and wonder who that is looking back at me. I am getting teeth tomarrow, I am actually afraid of being "pretty" sometimes. It would be a crime for a guy to actually look at me lol. I am sure your really pretty, and your young too. I think that when our parents tell us we are not good looking for so long, that it is hard for us to believe we are not what they said we were/or who they said we were. I still avoid mirrors. I still hear a voice in my head telling me I am ugly, I wish the memory would disapear, but the voice only fades a little over time. The worse part is the voice, the person has been gone for over 10 years, and his words still linger in my head.

[bearchic34]

I believe in faking it til you feel it. Keep saying it over and over what you like about you. Say it everytime you look in the mirror. As usual it is something that takes time and practice, wish there was a magic pill to make it better fast. It took many years of LK telling me nice things before I had any confidance at all. You are a beautiful amazing woman! Say it! Saaay it!