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#1
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Things are getting worse - my new anti-d's arnt working or maybe they are making me more anxious - dunno - not sleeping - pdoc had me writing down how many times I wake in the night - last night 14 times - night before 12 - sooo tired.
Have T on thursday - have hung out for this - now dont want to go ![]() ![]() I somtimes say I feel like I stand at the edge of a storm that threatens to wipe me out - I feel that storm close by now and the closer it gets to T the worse it gets - it should be getting better but its not.... I dont know what to do....
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#2
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no need for replies _ i just have to ride it out - see T thursday - dumb not to be able to cope till then - I will do what I have to to cope till them - thanks anyway - take care everyone
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__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#3
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![]() If it helps I know how you feel, I am going though pretty much the same only the app was last week and I didn't manage to make it in the end. My meds don't seem to be working and my pdoc isn't even bothering to monitor me. |
![]() phoenix7
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#4
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(((phoenix7)))))) muffy gets her fan out and pushes the storm away
may you feel better |
![]() phoenix7
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#5
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Quote:
Im sorry midnight sky - ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() thanks Muffy - but I think you'll need a bigger fan lol ![]() logging off now - 11.30pm - have to at least try to pretend to sleep lol ![]() ![]()
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#6
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(((phoenix7)))))))))))))))))))))) theres always my magic wand
and also I can listen to what ever you need to say ![]() ![]() |
#7
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thanks Muffy for the beautiful picture - maybe things will look better tomorrow.... take care P7
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
![]() muffy
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#8
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((((phoenix7))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) sleep well and i hope tomorrow will look better.
You never say to much and im always willing to listen kind one |
![]() phoenix7
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#9
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So Phoenix, do you have some shame going on right now? You have recently made a big change at work which is really triggering you. Please don't discount that. Anyone would be triggered! You are also not able to sleep which makes things worse.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() phoenix7
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#10
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Quote:
![]() I know what happened was/is very triggering for me - but I chose an innapropriate method of coping out of desperation - I should have known better than that - I did/do know better than that..... and im still stuck in that cycle.....
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#11
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Phoenix, has your T been ashamed of you before? You have been having huge triggers that have been very difficult for you to deal with. You did the best you could. I am not ashamed of you at all!
![]() ![]()
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() phoenix7
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#12
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The shame is the worst feeling, isn't it? And it's impossible to just turn off, I know.
I'm sorry you're feeling bad. I think that although you turned to that method to cope in desperation, it's valuable that you found a way to cope. You got through. You took care of yourself in the best way you could. There's, in my mind, no shame in that. I know it's impossible to see it that way right now, but perhaps hearing it many times from many different people will help. |
![]() phoenix7
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#13
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Thanks Sannah and Skeksi -
![]() ![]() I dont think T has been ashamed of me.... yet..... T cancelled again....... ![]() ![]()
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet Last edited by phoenix7; Apr 15, 2009 at 11:22 PM. |
#14
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Then the odds that she is going to be ashamed of you are pretty low then! She very most likely doesn't believe in shaming people. Shaming people isn't something that is looked upon too highly in psychology.
I'm sorry that you still have to wait for an appt! You should be able to benefit from a phone appt. though?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() phoenix7
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#15
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yep - I think I need the phone call - 2 hours to go - wish me luck
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__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#16
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T told me today she is leaving.....
![]() ![]() gone..... ![]()
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#17
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So are you working on getting another therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
#18
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dont know - cant think - will see what she suggests at next visit - everyone leaves.... maybe I can do this on my own ... sad...
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#19
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![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
![]() phoenix7
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#20
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I thought my anti-d's were finally kicking in today - I felt better - then I did somthing really stupid - I dont know why i did it - and I dont feel bad about it - Im just sorry if I let anyone down (apart from me and I dont really care about me -)
raining and cold here - I like the grey clouds and the darkness - it feels right .
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#21
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![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
#22
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(((phoenix7))))))
I understand how you feel, I'm sorry you are feeling bad. It is very hard to get through. The feeling of shame is devastating and always painful. You should always tell your T when you are feeling triggered. Your T will always be there for you and he always understands you. Take your writings and bring them into your next session. Xtree
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"People do not fail, they just stop trying" |
#23
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Xtree, T is leaving - next session will be my last.....
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts ![]() its how many times you get back up! ![]() ![]() (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture ![]() When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
#24
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Than is terrible. I am very sorry to about that Phoenix. I know how hard it is to start with a new T. I hope you started looking for a new one soon. Maybe she can recommend one. I hope your appointment goes well and I wish you could cheer up. :-)
Xree
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"People do not fail, they just stop trying" |
![]() phoenix7
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