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  #1  
Old May 03, 2009, 09:46 PM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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I was expecting a new phone to be delivered today - I KNEW somone would knock at my door - I was EXPECTING it - then why did I jump and start shaking when the knock at the door I was expecting came.... sigh...

Then I ring up to book a ticket and get into a panic attack because the guy gives me choices....... for crying out loud!!!

I had a really good day 2 days ago - I am trying to hold that in my head - but its fading - Im rocking again grrrrr! why cant I just be Fixed!!! better!!! healed!!!

I had a good day and I want another one!!!! NOW!
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
All Triggery again :(
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet

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  #2  
Old May 04, 2009, 09:04 AM
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skeksi skeksi is offline
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Having a reaction doesn't mean the day is bad, or that you have failed. Can you try to reframe what happened? Like, you (understandably) jumped at a knock on the door...and were still able to make a phone call! You were overwhelmed by the phone call...but were still able to reach out here on PC.

I'm sorry today is hard, but you are still good, and you can still feel good about how you are trying to manage some hard things.
Thanks for this!
phoenix7, Sannah
  #3  
Old May 04, 2009, 09:16 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Yes, Phoenix, why are you expecting perfection?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #4  
Old May 04, 2009, 03:51 PM
LSCS1950 LSCS1950 is offline
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Location: Truckee, CA
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix7 View Post
I was expecting a new phone to be delivered today - I KNEW somone would knock at my door - I was EXPECTING it - then why did I jump and start shaking when the knock at the door I was expecting came.... sigh...

Then I ring up to book a ticket and get into a panic attack because the guy gives me choices....... for crying out loud!!!

I had a really good day 2 days ago - I am trying to hold that in my head - but its fading - Im rocking again grrrrr! why cant I just be Fixed!!! better!!! healed!!!

I had a good day and I want another one!!!! NOW!
I can hear your frustration with yourself, but I am so glad to hear that you had a good day! I am wondering why you put so much pressure on yourself? I can actually feel it oozing out of you
Please give yourself the brake you would give friend.
You deserve it!
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #5  
Old May 04, 2009, 04:54 PM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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Skeksi, Sannah, Lscs1950,

You hit the nail right on the head! or was it the phoenix

Skeksi, thanks I needed to reframe and view the positives - thankyou for pointing them out to me - a short time agoa and I wouldnt have been able to either answer the door or make the phone call - so its progress.

I went back to "I am Bad" and "I am not making enough recovery fast enough" which seem to lay at the core of my thoughts - thankyou for making me realise I had tapped into these thoughts

Sannah, oooh perfectionism raises its ugly head - I think I have to try to expect less from myself ... slightly less.... a little less than perfection - I am definately NOT perfect - (as I remind myself often )
and must remember as my old T said that I am not Superman - but Human! wonderwoman maybe......

LSCS1950, thank you for helping me put the brakes on - yes I was very frustrated with myself - I want so much to be healed - for this to be over - and another core belief of mine was and sometimes is that if im not healed its because I havnt worked hard enough or done enough or.... that im just not smart enough to "get it" - dunno ..... i know it takes as long as it takes ...

I just wish I could stop feeling anxious most of the time - maybe when I get the tape from my pdoc in 2 weeks time that will help - although I'll probably wear it out in a week lol

Thankyou all for stopping the runaway train and making me stop and think
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
All Triggery again :(
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
  #6  
Old May 04, 2009, 07:10 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Posts: 19,179
I can certainly understand you wanting it over with yesterday!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #7  
Old May 04, 2009, 11:36 PM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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(((((((((((((((((( phoenix7 ))))))))))))))))))
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Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #8  
Old May 05, 2009, 12:45 AM
LSCS1950 LSCS1950 is offline
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Location: Truckee, CA
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Yes, how well I know the syndrome of 'i'm not working hard enough' or 'why am I so dense' goes. It is unfortunately another way that we beat ourselves up. I too ask myself, when will it stop? The good thing is that I am getting better at accepting that"this to shall pass.
Please be a little more patient with yourself.
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #9  
Old May 05, 2009, 04:29 AM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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I'm trying! (yes I know I'm VERY trying ) take care P7

__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
All Triggery again :(
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
  #10  
Old May 05, 2009, 06:37 AM
Anonymous091825
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((((((((((phoenix)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) some days it just happens
one day at some point hopefully it stops my friend
All Triggery again :(
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #11  
Old May 05, 2009, 10:13 AM
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thelionkinglives thelionkinglives is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2009
Location: Rockford, IL.
Posts: 660
(((Phoenix7))))
Door knocks: Maybe you just let your mind get sucked into something else for a while & dropped your guard...like yacking with all your wonderful friends at PC.....

Choices: Maybe start with small choices like what you want for breakfast or what time to eat dinner then gradually increase to more difficult choices....maybe play games that require you to choose multiple choice...here I'll give you one.
hmmm....how about...

which one of these is your favorite smilie

A
B
C

Fixing: Somebody give me a wrench I like to fix things...(we need a "tinkering" smilie).

I still jump when my 96 year old grandmother goes to give me a hug
I don't know why...I'm 33 years old & a foot taller than her but I flinch everytime...& she notices

LK
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #12  
Old May 05, 2009, 10:12 PM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2008
Location: Australia
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Quote:
Originally Posted by thelionkinglives View Post
(((Phoenix7))))
Door knocks: Maybe you just let your mind get sucked into something else for a while & dropped your guard...like yacking with all your wonderful friends at PC.....

you could be right - I often Zone out!

Choices: Maybe start with small choices like what you want for breakfast or what time to eat dinner then gradually increase to more difficult choices....maybe play games that require you to choose multiple choice...here I'll give you one.
hmmm....how about...

which one of these is your favorite smilie

A
B
C

hmm love popcorn - 2nd one is me wanting popcorn - third one is.... hey how did you get my picture !!!!!!!!!!!

Fixing: Somebody give me a wrench I like to fix things...(we need a "tinkering" smilie).

Eek! you'd need a screwdriver - think I have a screw or two loose! - step away form the wrench LK

I still jump when my 96 year old grandmother goes to give me a hug
I don't know why...I'm 33 years old & a foot taller than her but I flinch everytime...& she notices
Maybe you could hug her first? that way no jump

LK
hmmmm - Image of LK being chased round room by 96 yr old gran shouting "hugs, need hugs" - yes I know I have a warped sense of humour

Non threatening for you
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
All Triggery again :(
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
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