158... highest score yet.

Highest score yet.

You have 13 serious concerns that we've identified. Generally such concerns should be checked out with a mental health professional as soon as you can. You can find a mental health professional within your local community through your insurance provider or through an online therapist directory. Get help immediately if these concerns are overwhelming or you feel your health or safety is at risk.

You have 2 milder concerns that we've identified. Such concerns may be a part of an ordinary person's usual up's and down's in life. However, if any of these issues cause you worry or concern, please consult with your physician or a mental health professional for further information.

Wishing you strength, peace, recovery.

wow mine is 187 with 14 serious and 4 milder conditions i think i am the worst on this site.

((((((((((Pup))))))))) I hope things get better for you..... Bug hugs!!!

thanks ...

Pup, Keeping you in mind today. Wishing all the best for you.

having a crap day.
here are my problems.
i typed them out.

I have eating disorders (a mixture of binge eating disorder, bulimia and anorexia), these have affected me for many years now, I am in recovery but I still continue to slip up and struggle day to day with them.

I have alcohol and drug addictions, both of which have caused havoc in my life, and continue to at times, I have been binge drink free for a few months now, and regarding my drug addiction, I take narcotics for a medical condition, so it is extremely hard to keep it under control and take it for the reasons it has been given to me.

I have Emotional Dysregulation, which is a main characteristic in Borderline Personality Disorder. It affects my life severely, and has done for many years now.

I have been a Self Harmer since I was 7, from biting myself, to cutting veins, it has gone from mild behaviours, to severe behaviours, right now, I've been cut free for a few months now, overdose free for a few weeks, I continue to harm myself in other ways but the severity of my self harming behaviours have decreased greatly.

I have ADHD, combined type. This does affect me a lot, and it continues to. I was only diagnosed 2 years ago, so it's a recent diagnosis, and there are some second thoughts around it, but nonetheless, I do struggle with the symptoms of this disorder.

I have Receptive Language Difficulties. This complicates how I interpret and understand what is being said to me, it really does cause a lot of problems in my life however I am trying to cope with this difficulty, and though it may never go away, or I may always struggle with receptive language, I will continue to try and cope with it.

I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder as well as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. These Anxiety Disorders prevent me from even leaving the house a lot of the time, it prevents me from answering the phone, the door, it presents itself in many forms. The OCD causes extreme distress, I suffer from intrusive, obsessive thoughts and compulsions which I feel compelled to do no matter how much I resist it.

I have Severe and Complex Emotional Needs, and this was on my special needs statement. I’m unsure of how to explain this one, but I think it’s pretty self explanatory.

Medically, I have M.E, which stands for Myalgic Encephalopathy. This illness has no cure. Treatment is very limited. I have had this for almost a year now, it's extremely disabling for me. I have most, if not all, the symptoms however, I now have a M.E Nurse who I'm hoping can shed some light on a thing called "recovery". Recovering from M.E is possible, it takes time but it is possible. Unfortunately, relapses are extremely common, but I'm hoping at some point, I will be able to live life while being much less affected by this illness. It does leave me housebound, even bed bound when it's at it's worst. As you can guess, this affects me severely in more than one way. Having this illness can cause mental illnesses, such as depression and anxiety, because of how disabling it can be, just as every medical illness can cause a mental illness.

The possibilities I could have is borderline personality disorder, dependent personality disorder and separation anxiety disorder, but I haven't been officially diagnosed mostly because for the PD's, I am underage and the SAD, I've just been told I have attachment disorders /difficulties.

For the BPD, I have all of the symptoms, they affect me severely and I am hoping one day to be diagnosed so I can finally get help, the same with DPD, and SAD.

I do not have DID as such, but I do have a "little me" inside. It's hard to explain. But I do not loose time or any of that, I'm still me when I'm little.

I have a history of being abused and neglected from my family, and continue to be. I do not know my mother without alcohol. My sister is extremely abusive and manipulative and shows signs of narcissism. My biological father has been absent throughout my life, and in the times he is not absent, he's too busy abusing, neglecting and brainwashing me. Other family members have abused me such as cousins, aunts and uncles. My grandparents are very lovely people though, but I do not see them at all often, which is unfortunate. My cousin’s kids are also ever so adorable and they do keep the sun in the sky on dark days for me. In the past 2 and a half years, I have met someone who has become like a father to me, he’s very supportive and helpful to me, and he tries his best to take care of me, considering he is after all an ocean away from me.

I have been sexually abused by family members at a younger age, my step brother and cousin, and sexually harassed at school with a number of guys since I was younger too. This has affected me severely, as you can guess.

I have been severely bullied throughout my school life; this is a main cause of my eating disorders, self harming behaviour, and a few of my suicide attempts too. I dropped out of school in year 7, and returned in late year 9 to a special educational needs school. This impacted me a lot, and caused deterioration in my learning skills, self esteem and confidence.

I was in a special educational needs school from years 9 till years 11, where my needs were properly met, however, they still failed to meet all of my needs, but I did become *over* attached to my tutor, she was a lovely lady, and like a mother to me. I miss her terribly.

I have tried to kill myself more than 30 times, some were lethal methods, they failed, obviously, and I continue to feel sucidally depressed.

I have been sectioned into a psychiatric ward for 28 days which they failed to help me at all, and at 13 years of age, considered it a "phase" after lethal attempts to end my life. Yes, of course it is a "phase" to be suicidally depressed and very unstable since I can remember.

I wish you health and peace!

Regards

Dear Pup,

I just have a minute now. Thank you very much for your clear and articulate post. You have great underlying strength to endure all that you have been through and are still going through.

thanks, appreciate it...

i got 274

Pup

With so many things going on at such a young age, it has to be hard to separate all the issues into their specific place within you to be able to help I would imagine.......It is good that you have had the help you have received to get as much defined as you have.

With the situation you have described, I can understand how you would have become so attached to a stable tutor......when you finally found a comfortable caring person in your life.....who wouldn't want to attach to that given your situation......I can understand how much it must have hurt when you had to detach from that tutor. There should be no wonder that you would get attached & have a problem letting go of someone special like that.......would be a normal reaction given what your life has been like.

It is sad that you family doesn't see the damage they have done & are doing........just want to give you huge hugs & a safe place to get away from all the crazyness that is around you. I can't even imagine having to deal with all the issues you are dealing with at your young age.

I never had much of the motherly instincts for caring for my daughter, but protecting her & making sure she was safe was my first priority even with my focus on my career.

Just praying for your healing & recovery & the caring that you deserve to have in your life......even if it doesn't come from family.

Know that God love is there for you even when you don't feel it anywhere else around you.


Debbie

thanks so mucheskie

My words seem so small and inadequate when I am thinking of the magnitude of what you're enduring, and also of the magnitude of your strength in so enduring. I am also humbled when I think of the advice and empathy that you, in spite of your difficulties, are able to offer to others on this forum.

Thank you for letting us know of your experiences and health news. I hope that you can see your cousin's kids often!

You mentioned someone who is supportive and helpful to you. What do you find to be helpful, what gives support?

he listens to me, he helps me through my struggles, he offers me hugs, he lets me be little me, he comforts me, he helps me distract myself from the world around me and my head and health, hes a father figure to me.

I'm glad that you have someone who is so attentive, accepting and supportive.

guess not anymore.

?

Perhaps he is not aware of his significance to you?

no. some BS has gone down.
doesnt matter.
anyway.
this is my score.
yay.:l

It is so important for everyone to have someone who cares, even more when you have so many things going on in their life like you have.

Know we all care here, but it's good to have some one person you feel safe going to for support & caring. It's the one thing that does help us keep our sanity most of the time.


Debbie

I'm sorry.

I got 168 today... ;/
one more mild concern.

Have you been able to make any progress with the M.E. nurse and doctor? Are you still strongly against any form of contact with a mental health professional?

no and yes.

but i am wanting to go on meds for my ocd and other things but mainly ocd right now but a few months ago was denied that and told i was physically too weak.