First time over 100; 109

I scored high in Mania, Depression, and Dissociative disorder. The latter is new to me, but it is consistent with what I've been experiencing the last few months, and the past several days in particular.

I forget if I drove to work or not, or where I parked, even though I always park in the same spot. Today I asked one of my kids who dropped them off at daycare, because I honestly couldn't remember, and it was me. Now, I'm whacked out because I'm going down on lamictal and up on depakote at the same time. I'm also reducing my xanax at night, so my sleep is messed up. But generally, I've gone from elated and excited (lamictal only) to just kinda indifferent and grumpy...and very irritable with my kids and pets. I also have some sort of phonophobia (sensitive to loud sounds) type of thing going on. I don't feel like working because the stuff I'm doing is uninteresting, for me at least. I'm working on some stuff that takes a lot of brain power, but to me, the end result is lame. Even the more complex projects that are pending, I really don't care about right now. Even though I'd normally (hypomanic is normal for me), I'd be really into them and seeing how they develop over time. But right now I don't really care. Bad timing because I have a lot of projects in the queue and in the works, both at work and at home; though, most of them are related.

Oh well, I shouldn't be surprise when adding a depressant (depakote) to the mix.

what would be your usual score? and besides the memory thing what would make you get such a high score this time?

It would be close to 100, in the 90's at least. I don't know. I've been unable to keep track of time. I've done some reading on dissociative disorders and I don't have those symptoms at all. I don't know why the score for it was so high (75). I have been transitioning from hypomania to the "midpoint" now for the last couple weeks. I'm just kind of wiped out...like all the energy I expended has finally caught up with me. Wow, that depakote works fast! "Get out of here, no mania for you!" I had a couple auditory hallucinations last night. That's unusual for me. I think my personality makes me less prone to having hallucinations. Because I'm such a skeptic. I would just never believe that I am actually experiencing a hallucination. There MUST be some sort of explanation for it. That's how my mind works. I don't believe anything. So, while it does freak me out, I think I recover from them ok. I dunno, probably just a lot of weird stuff happening with the mood transition, drug transition, trying to lessen my use of benzo's at night (which is NOT going to happen right now), and sleep issues.

Oh, and my vision sucks. I have to always increase the font size here on the laptop. It's weird. I put my glasses on and it doesn't make a difference. My eyes are bloodshot. Maybe they are just dry.

It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time with your mood and medication shifts. It can be so disruptive to your sense of well-being.

I hope things even out for you soon.

- Claire

I just gotta stay on the xanax until the other stuff evens out...who knows...i might be dependent on them for sleep...oh well.

Thanks for your thoughts!