Ok heres my story. hehe

I'm 23, almost 24. Panic Disorder, PTSD, DID, ADD, and now Bipolar.

I AM a disorder(just kidding)

about a year ago now is when I started having the bad anxiety attacks. It happened congruently with the discovery of a heart condition, although a mild one. I have simple tachychardia and I also get PVC's(pre ventricular contractions). The tachy is not so bad - I usually at most have a resting heart beat of 140-160 BPM when I have an attack. The PVC's I get so strongly that I have almost passed out from it, and I actually feel the pinch of blood pressure right through to my fingertips and toes - sometimes the force of it will actually show on my chest... its not fun.

on any hand, I take Effexor XR right now 150 per day(mg, not pills) And the doctor has given me Clonazepam and Ativan at times. The ativan I find bothers my heart so I only take it for sleep(plus it makes me very sleepy) The clonaze I rely moreso on them for anxiety, flashbacks etc.

The problem in all of this lies in the fact that the doctor I am currently seeing and have been seeing for the past year is extremely hesitant to increase the dose, or even to prescribe them at all. I completely understand the misgivings about its addiction and such. however, I still feel that I benefit from the clonaze in that it allows me to get on with my life and not be bogged down by the anxiety - currently I have not been able to work for three months because of things. He also does not know about the DID. It takes alot for me to disclose this to anyone. He was the one who diagnosed me bipolar(as did a therapist at the same time) yet he tells me that he doesnt feel "comfortable" "getting into prescribing medication for it" and says that its a "whole nother situation" with those drugs. He tells me "your too young to be getting into the clonazepam thing" and says that I really shouldn't be on them.

Well, considering that I am as bad as I am, and considering that after weighting the risks against the positives, I still feel that I would benefit from being able to take this medication. The dose I take currently ranges anywheres from 0.5 mg to having to take four of the 0.5's (which would be 2 mg). Since I have taken it, almost 90 % of the time I end up having to take the 2mg. Especially lately. When I explain all of this to him, he just reiterates what he's said, and I usually end up giving up and walking out of the office feeling like I am unprotected in the event that I get bad. Now I am currently waiting to see a psychaiatrist, and I know that once I get to see him and explain it likely wont be a problem anymore, but in the mean time, should I see another doctor and get a second opionion?

To give someone an idea of how much clonaze I need to take regularly, anywheres between 20-30 of the 0.5's a month on a bad month, less on a good one.

thoughts?

[Rhapsody]

Well, what can I say, but: We are as Sick as our Secrets (and) YOU my friend are keeping a BIG secret from your doctor by not telling him of your full Dx.... How can he help you when he does not know fully of what he is supposed to be helping with?

Be BRAVE and step up to home plate and tell the DOC what all you have (all or nothing)..... From one person to another that has DID and many other Dx - YOU CAN DO IT!!!! - with the proper medicine and adequate counseling I was able to take the 20 alters down to just 2 (me and her) - life is GOOD!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[wi_fighter]

Rainbowzz, most GPs or internists don't want to prescribe psych drugs because it just isn't their speciality. They'll usually give you a one-month refill, if you're seeing a psychiatrist but can't get in to see him before the Rx runs out. They aren't going to take full control of your psych care though.

You wouldn't have a gastroenterologist monitor and prescribe your cardiac meds.

Does that make more sense?

[DaveyJones]

Rainbowzz,

If you are bipolar and DID you definitely need to be seeing a psychiatrist. The reason GP's and internists don't want to treat bipolar is that managing the most effective mood stabilizers (lithium and Depakote) require careful monitoring, at least at first, and using them effectively takes some experience.

I hope things get better for you--I know things must be scary for you.

Best wishes,
DJ

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
wi_fighter said:
Rainbowzz, most GPs or internists don't want to prescribe psych drugs because it just isn't their speciality. They'll usually give you a one-month refill, if you're seeing a psychiatrist but can't get in to see him before the Rx runs out. They aren't going to take full control of your psych care though.

You wouldn't have a gastroenterologist monitor and prescribe your cardiac meds.

Does that make more sense?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

It absolutely does. Its just extremely frustrating as I have been waiting for over six months now to get an appointment with a psych doctor (I'm in canada), and i guess i am just feeling a little left out in the cold by this "wait for the psychaiatrist" attitude that he has. I mean, where does that leave me in the mean time, yanno?

Rap,

yes, i know you are right. I DO, its just terribly frightening for me..disclosure is still something that even the thought of spins me for a loop quite often. Even the thought of telling someone else (only a small handful of my friends know, and I've been seperated physically from my family for about eight years, so they don't know either - they don't know about anything other than the depression and "fits" i used to have as a child")literally triggers me to the point where I feel an urge to run and hide It took me weeks to even go in and tell him about the mood swings a few months ago. But it is something I am trying very hard to work on. The pdoc that dxed me years ago I saw from the time I was 14 until I left home when I was 17, and she was wonderful but even with her it took me over a year to even talk about it. I was almost 17 before any "alters" or others came out in front of her. And then because I left, i also lost her as a therapist.

Davey j,

yeah, it is all a bit much. I mean, sometimes I get to the point when I can't even figure out what I am experiencing and what its coming from - sort of like "okay, well, i feel really scared" but then not knowing if its coming from a trigger, coming from a panic attack or something else. Well, i guess if nothing else I'm almost never bored

Hanging in there to see the psychdoc - they told me that it should be by the 25th of this month which is AWESOME.

I guess more than anything i am frustrated that because of our health care system taking so long, i sort of get left out in the cold - I mean I am not bad enough to require hospitalization i don't think, yet if I am suffering as often as I do from these feelings or symptoms, then obviously something is not working.

Thanks for your input guys. I feel a little better just having been able to spit out my feelings and frustrations.

[Rhapsody]

Dear Rainbow,

When I found it hard to let my T (or) Pdoc in on what was truly going on inside of me.... I wrote it out (briefly) and then gave the paper to them to read - it was easy to talk about once they knew.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -