Currently on Lexapro. Need Help!

This is going to be really long but please read it all. I need help.

Background/Past:
About 3 and a half years ago (I was 17) I started Paxil. I was on it for 2 months and then wanted off it. At the time I knew almost nothing about anti-depressants other than what I experienced while on them, and I had no trouble stopping use of them cold turkey in the past. I got off it in two weeks time. I experienced some withdrawal during this time but didn't worry about it much.

I started having serious withdrawal symptoms (at the time didn't know what I was experiencing)--severe anxiety, depression, insomnia (it was very hard to fall asleep, i had to have tv shows playing on my computer with headphones on), I was stuck in the "flight" part of "fight or flight", was tired all the time, had problems concentrating, and problems with memory (was in a fog).

I went on Effexor for awhile but it didn't help much (it was my second time using it) so I stopped using it. My doctor suggested Lexapro, so I went on that. That helped but I still was still experiencing all the same problems--anxiety, insomnia, adrenaline, fatigue. I did not want to get back on Paxil though. At this point I thought Paxil had caused all of this and wanted to stay away from it.

I was so bad that I couldn't work. I couldn't drive--I would get too anxious. I started going to therapy and I slowly started getting better.

Present Day:
Fast-forward to present day. I have improved a lot. I have learned a lot of coping skills, I started exercising (cardio and weight lifting), meditating, stretching, and eating healthier about two years ago. I've done a lot of research on SSRIs, exercise, diet, etc, and have learned a lot.

I still have the fatigue, anxiety, adrenaline, depression, concentration and memory problems. I also have a lot of tension in my body (muscles, tendons, joints, etc), pain/soreness, and stress.

What I'm capable of is limited and I can't seem to, in my current state, be independent. I live with my parents and depend on them for a lot. I want to be able to function as well as I can, and learn as quickly as I can. As mentioned, I exercise, meditate, stretch massage, eat healthy, write/journal, work on my thoughts/beliefs about myself, and read as much as I can about these things and anxiety/depression, etc.

Past Medication (in order, IIRC):
1. Prozac (stopped working for me after a year)
...1.1 BuSpar (did nothing except give me an unbearable side effect)
...1.2 Atavan (just for panic attacks)
2. Effexor (didn't want to be on medication, stopped taking)
3. Wellbutrin (took for 1 week, had dizziness, couldn't drive, stopped taking)
4. Zoloft (took 1 week, stopped, didn't want medication)
5. Paxil (same as Effexor)
6. Effexor (round 2, didn't work as well, stopped)
...6.1 Vistaril (just for panic attacks)
7. Lexapro
...7.1 Vistaril (just for panic attacks)

Note: due to mental problems, dislike of medication/relying on medication, misunderstandings/poor communication with parents, parents not understanding or knowing what to do, stupids things were done that probably only made things worse.

Current Medication and an Oddity:
I am currently taking Lexapro 5mg. I've tried 10mg, 7.5mg, 5mg, and 2.5mg. There is one strange thing I have noticed and I don't know what to call it.

Say I am 10mg (and have been for at least a month) and then I start taking 5mg. If I keep this up for a month I will feel worse during this time. Then I start taking 10mg again. After about 2 weeks I will start feeling great. All my symptoms will be reduced greatly or vanish. This will last for 2-4 weeks and then I will go back to the way I was before. I have done this 3-4 times. Mostly with 10mg and 5mg, but recently I did it with 5mg and 2.5mg.

After a month on 2.5mg I felt pretty bad, but when I was going back up with 5mg, after about 2 weeks, I had a 4 week period where I felt absolutely fantastic.

I had a lot more energy, I had no depression, almost no anxiety, almost no stress, much less tension in my body, sex drive was much higher, I was happy, I was more talkative, I could interact with people much better/easier, my concentration was much better, my memory was much better. There were moments at night When I was laying in bed where there was no depression, no stress, no anxiety, no tension, no pain...it was fantastic. It was heaven.

I was so much more productive. I was practicing/learning things every day. It was just fantastic.

Obviously I want that all the time. I've got things I want to accomplish. And just the fact that I can't and life is such a struggle, makes me depressed.

Questions:
So with regarding the above I want to know: what was that? Why does going to lower dosage, then higher dosage, cause such a drastic, temporary improvement?

Is Lexapro giving me side effects?

Should I switch and go with something else?

I'm not too sure about this, as I went the traditional route of staying on one dosage then increasing it while on Lexapro. Have you went back to your pdoc and asked about it? I think he will be the best person to answer your question

Also, welcome to PC! Hoping you'll find the support you need here

Typically Lexapro has very few unpleasant side effects and is the best SSRI. I'm on it and haven't had any problems with it. I'd ck with a pharmacist! Btw for fatigue and pain, Cymbalta is probably a better choice. For depression Viibryd is another great choice with few side effects! For anxiety Nefazodone is by far the best AD, and for OCD Luvox is the best! Best of luck and hope that helps a bit!

If you stop messing with your meds yourself you would get more stable , you take a med and stop it before a trail is over , who,s to say these meds you stopped would probably worked if you stayed on them long enough.

That is one thing I forgot to mention, should probably add it in. I have mentioned this to the family doctor, my psychiatrist, and my therapist. None of them are really sure about it. I'm assuming it's new to them.

I hope so.

Thanks for the suggestions. A couple of those I haven't heard of, will check them out. And very recently the family doctor suggested trying Viibryd, so I might give it shot, just not sure.

I just wanted to put this out on the internet and hopefully get responses from people who have tried different things and done their own research, and maybe find someone who has experienced things very similar to my own.

Yeah, and neither I nor my parents really knew what to do, and I was stupid and immature when I was a teenager and just hated meds at the time, so that did screw things up.

But I was on Lexapro at 10mg consistently for a year before I ever messed with the dosage, and I've been on it 2-2 & 1/2 years total. It just took so long to recover after the incident with Paxil that it was hard to tell how the Lexapro was working for awhile.