Mental Illness and Stress and Meds

People with mental illness (that is not treated) often don't realize how much they affect others around them, especially loved ones. Untreated mental illness can cause a person to be a difficult customer (to the point of being told they cannot return to a business), a hurtful or abusive family member, an unreliable friend, a negative and hurtful force in the world around them, including being a danger to themselves & others by doing such things as wandering out in traffic.

By "successful life" I mean a life that we ourselves feel good about most of the time. A life in which we can find "flow" and experience a full range of emotions and feelings and remain resilient when we do experience emotions and feelings. A life in which we are not hurting others, and a life in which we are not a danger to ourselves or others.

If mental illness is preventing us from leading a "successful" existence, I believe it is time to say THANK YOU UNIVERSE: today I have medication, psychotherapy, websites, and all sorts of tools to TREAT this illness! For those who battle with mental illness I believe the proper medications stabilize us and allow us to use other tools to create our lives successfully.

Zinco- yeah, I do enjoy respectful dialogue in threads, but when they get so convoluted I agree - it's hard to plow through all the comments and it's likely that others won't read the whole thread. I'm loopy-headed from trying to get through this thread, myself.

I think a condom is better protection against babies...

(just kidding. I can be so immature at times)

Well, I chose with great joy to be a wife and mother, and I have a large extended family I love very deeply. I believe I have a responsibility to keep myself as healthy as possible so that I can care for and be available for my family - and friends, too.

Sister, I wonder... do you secretly think that if I took meds I'd be perhaps less of a snarky beyotch?

you only got condoms at the chemist then , and they were thick like a tube in a car tyre. bare back riding is cool but can cause probs. anyway I was buzzing what s a condom when your buzzing , there was the pill but many chose not to take it so 50-50 really

This is interesting because this is the first thread I have seen where people actually seem to be coming to an understanding despite not agreeing on everything. Sure it got heated but FINALLY there is listening. And nobody is getting voted off. While it has gone a bit off topic the question of stress is still being addressed. Admins might disagree but I am thrilled people are starting to hear each other.



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Does thread have to stay on topic though? I mean when you talk with somebody in RL, the conversation flows and go through many topics. You start discussing communism and it develops into conversation about cat balls and ends up in talk about make up and pant suits.

I get boards are bit different, but this thread has been more or less interesting exchange of ideas.

Zinco and I ran into some misunderstanding because of how it veered so I understand the requirement. I think it matters more when there are a lot of people and how far it goes. IMO.

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It's not so much the depression, but the anxiety that can bring stress to my life.

I have a neurological illness, that requires me to minimize stress, or that could get worse. Go figure, there.

I take a PRN anti anxiety, yes. I also am in talk therapy. Even with kids, I do my best to reduce the stress of life.

If I don't use reasoning skills, logic, rational thinking, my mi will wreak havoc.

There's no cures, just remissions.

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Yeah, provided you don't have allergies

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There are actual condom allergies or is it guy's excuse?

There are actual condom allergies - latex allergies, same problem with some medical gloves. Reason I know this is I have to have periodic trans-vaginal ultrasounds (sorry if TMI) and theycover the ultrasound wand with a condom, and they always ask me if I have a latex allergy.

splitimage

Venus, I don't think you're a b-itch. Not at all. Your moods (from what little I can tell on this forum) seem really intense and I wonder if you're life might be a little less hard and more rewarding if you were (maybe) on meds and/or in therapy. I also think you have some PTSD (maybe), or at least fear/security issues from living where you live. I mean, as we all know...things in your part of the world are pretty upset these days. So if you have some issues about where you live, it's totally understandable.

Wait a minute now. Healingme4me got totally back on topic and then right away got side tracked into condoms. how is it even possible for us to stay on topic. we can't do it.

1034 page views on this thread. I don't know if that means anything. Half of those might be my hits, reading and responding. That would be a bit obsessive if true. I never know if I am OCD or addicted. I can't tell the difference.

That's a lot of views.

Missing condoms can be a little stressful don't you think?

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Eh, I just get sometimes passionate about things. You should see me actually discussing the situation on Ukraine or politics.

Therapy might help, but I am bit distrustful of people. And the Czech healthcare.

And as for meds, at this point, I can't see any rewards. Can't afford to upset my balance I worked so hard on. Scared of messing with my brain (and I am not talking about creativity. But the ability to think bilingualy). Not all of my experience is bad. The good times keep my going through the bad times.

I don't blame anybody for their choices, but it's not so black and white. And I don't think my choices make a bad person, or stupid or anything.

You might hate me more than you already do but I was reminded when I saw the email telling me I have the latest episode of madmen available. The first two seasons dealt with motherhood. The second was brilliant with the Peggy and Betty story lines. I think housewives and career women can appreciate it equally. That's another topic. I have tremendous respect for housewives but there is a pretty robust history of med taking. I think it has more to do with rich ones with time on their hands and any women who would prefer a career. That choice has not always been there as you know. Just an observation. Not really related to your choice probably. But that is how many women dealt with the stress of their life. Unintended stress. Arguably unnecessary.

With regard to your comments about me or Venus perhaps needing meds (you made a comment to me in another thread a while ago). I wonder if anyone has questioned your decision to raise children at home instead of fulfilling your "potential" in a career. Emphasis on "I chose with >great< joy" says possibly to me. (I like artist work but I don't feel the need to say "with great joy".) I don't believe outside the home career=potential any more than raising children. I want to stress that. That's just a perception a lot of women project to housewives (or household CEO, if you prefer ). Because that is kind of how it makes me feel when someone says "meds are necessary" or asks me why I don't want to be "compliant" and take meds. There are others that do it. Just not so blatant as you and sewer. I don't take it personally. It is more of a reflection of your beliefs, IMO. Just trying to present a similar scenario. An attempt to see eye to eye.

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I admire you, Venus. You obviously work hard to maintain your balance in life. You seem to know yourself quite well. Your healing attitude is admirable.

Oh goodness, questioned...yes!...I was raising my family in the '80's & '90's when being a stay at home mom was very un-chic. While I was raising my children I volunteered in all sorts of ways. I've always required lots of time with people, and lots of meaning in my life...I have to feel that I am a productive, contributing member of society. Actually, I also worked at times in the late-'90's as a counselor with at-risk teens who were living on the streets.

I was so satisfied with my decision to have a family I was never bothered by any criticism. I was delighted to break the cycle of abuse I grew up with. My now-adult children are doing so wonderfully well, giving back to society in such positive ways, I feel better than ever about my decision to be a full-time mom. (By the way, it was my marriage that caused enormous stress in my life, much more so than raising children did.)

What indicates to me that someone isn't entirely at peace with a decision (whether it's a lifestyle choice, a religious belief, whether or not to be on meds, etc.) is when the person keeps fighting to be "right". That brings to mind "The lady doth protest too much, methinks" - the quotation from the play Hamlet by William Shakespeare. (Used as a figure of speech to indicate that a person's overly frequent or vehement attempts to convince others of something have ironically helped to convince others that the opposite is true, by making the person look insincere and defensive.)

I do admit, I chuckle whenever I hear the Stones song "Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown".

So that's what I mean, mostly. You don't have to be bothered by the criticism to recognize it.

The thing is what you may perceive as discomfort or unhappiness may or may not be the case. I don't see myself or Venus fighting for the reasons you state. What I see is trying to communicate with people who follow very different ideas of what you should or shouldn't do. I know I use the word "choice" so much I get really tired of it. Venus said "it's not so simple". Those aren't fighting words. The choice may indeed seems to be much simpler to you. I imagine part of that is because you have kids. Not having kids doesn't mean you can be selfish. It does change your priorities in different ways that are not evident until you live it. You may get that chance, btw. You may not. Take too long to expand.)

My t and I were talking about being normal today. I have said I hate that word but that isn't really the point here. She has kids, husband, extended family, etc. But we can still relate to each other's experience because a.) We are women and b.) We are "doing it wrong" according to society. Pretty much every woman in our culture is questioned about having kids, not having kids, career, no career. According to society ALL of us are doing it wrong. Angelina Jolie might be doing it right but the rest of us… (humor). As I said at the top you don't have to be bothered to recognize it.

What I am asking you to do is see something common in my med experience on PC and your house wifery exp. I get questioned a lot. I don't mind except when it is blatant and mean spirited. Generally I hold my own just fine. But the mean spiritedness happens a lot! You might not feel affected by the questioning but what if you were told on a regular basis you aren't intelligent enough to pick stock because you are a housewife? So if it feels to you like somebody "doth protest too much" it could just be they are trying to get you and others to see that it just ain't so simple. But I don't feel like you are seeing that just yet. I'm kind of a head banger in spirit though

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Speaking for myself, I can no longer imagine life without my medications. I am very lucky that they work so well for me with few side effects. When it comes to stress, medications definitely help by helping me avoid running down the rabbit hole of depression and anxiety. They help keep me in the here and now, so I can filter the reality of a given situation and not get swept away in the magnified details that don't really matter. So, yes, I would say that medication helps with my overall stress levels.

Plus, taking a mood stabilizer helps me with impulsivity and anger. These issues have a major impact on my life and the people around me. I would say that this indirectly helps with my overall stress levels because I am more capable of maintaining relationships, and having people to turn to is such a relief. I no longer have to isolate myself because I'm doing things that cause me embarrassment and shame.

For me, medication wouldn't work without therapy and therapy wouldn't work without medication.

For those of us who have experienced the relief of meds working, sometimes it is easy to lose sight of what its like for those who have major trouble with medications, or choose to stay away from them for other reasons.

The benefit of medication is worth the risks for me, but not for everybody.

I understand, Michanne. Anyone who listens only to society is bound for trouble.

I totally understand your point and you must feel like you are swimming upstream. Anyone who is rebellious in some way experiences this. Bucking against societies "norms" would be difficult and I am sure a lot of feed back you don't want to hear. Presenting your point of view in the psyche med section with a bunch or pro med people would not be easy.

We have never really defined societies norms though. I think they can be overly generalized and probably have more to do with media than reality. I am sure that is not true with women having babies and families. That is very ingrained in culture. Maybe all cultures. But I think some of the things that the rest of the world perceives as america's society's norms and lifestyle is largely false. American society is varies widely and is very diverse. What Nixon called the silent majority don't live anything like the 2% elite the rest of the world sees. I think individuals deserve more credit for making their own choices. Those choices are much more influenced by family and very local culture then by society at large. The culture in Northern Michigan is quite a bit different from the culture of the rich in the Bay Area of CA for example. I don't think media infuence is as large as people give it credit for. The internet and media seem to have a big impact on slang and common language and jokes and such but I think people cling tightly to their roots. That's how I see it. I won't say media doesn't have an influence it obviously does but when it comes down to the things that really matter to people.....not a huge impact.

When sister rags said she chose with great joy to have a family I perceived that as it being her free choice and not influenced by the outside. I would argue that her family probably had some influence over all over her life.

I would never call you irresponsible for not taking meds. But I think individuals deserve more credit for the free choices they make and not being pulled like puppets on a string by society.