[bea1990]

Ever since I’ve stopped taking my 300mgs of Wellbutrin, I feel like my life is going downhill… Im an actress and I NEED my emotions in order to do my job well. I stopped taking the Wellbutrin because I COULDN’T do a cry scene to save my life. It felt impossible. Now, however, its very easy to cry in front of the camera which is a good thing. But… my motivation for life is falling. For example, I’ve had some great auditions come up over the past few months and, for some reason, I keep finding reasons NOT to attend them. The reasons that run through my head are usually: “I look like crap today. I don’t know my lines. Im too nervous. What if the director embarrasses me? What if I say something stupid? What if my car breaks down? Im going to be late. Ect…” The list goes on and on. Those thoughts were WAY less frequent while I was on my medication. I do take 25 mgs of Adderall every day, which ive been taking for the last 12 years on and off, but the effects only last for a few hours.

My relationships often fail because im so paranoid that im being lied to or cheated on. I cant hold down a job because my anxiety keeps getting in the way of making it to work on time and even SHOWING UP. As a matter of fact, I was just fired from my side- job tonight because I called in…again. Alcohol is the only thing that relieves my anxiety in social situations but I cant ALWAYS drink every single time I need to be around other people. Ive already gotten in trouble with drinking and driving… WHICH WAS A VERY STUPID STUPID STUPID MISTAKE ON MY PART!! I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I hate that Im like this. My brother and sister are perfectly fine without therapy or medication and I wish I could be like that. Does anyone have any recommendations of medications that don’t numb your emotions? My GP wrote me a prescription for Abilify a while back but I never got it filled because I read some horrible reviews on it.

[Blue_Bird]

I was on Abilify before but it gave me some horrible akithisia, everybody's different though. Really, the best thing for anxiety is therapy. Besides that there are anti-anxiety medications. I'm on Klonopin but only take it as needed. There are non Benzo medications for anxiety as well such as Buspar and some anti-depressants. Not all numb your emotions.

[bea1990]

Thanks for ALL of the replies.
Very helpful.... Not.

[metamorphosis12]

Buspar will work great. It's supposed to be a 5HT1a partial agonist. It is supposed to help with anxiety. It's better known by most as a sugar pill! Basically a very weak drug often called a placebo mint.
Lexapro at 5 mg for depression. 10 mg is the regular dose. Though some go up to 20. The best thing about Lexapro is it is the cleanest SSRI. It has been shown for the majority to have the least side effects of all SSRI's and you don't have to really play to much with the dose. But you were taking a NDRI in Wellbutrin. No 5HT- serotonin action or very small.
I just read some of the other part of the OP. 25 mg of Adderall for 12 yrs without breaks? I can almost guarantee dependence and probably the main issue for your mental state. It has the l and d isomers. So ,Adderall can tend to cause more anxious feelings then dextroamphetamine. Here is a good article on it:
http://www.hightimes.com/read/addera...te-amphetamine
Yeah , it's from high times but it explains how the medication functions well.

Basically it's draining your neurons and cell production of dopamine and norepinephrine over this period of time. Your DA and NE receptors are probably severely down regulated and depleted. You need to talk to your doc or hopefully pdoc about this. Prescribing that dose for 12 yrs. is verging on malpractice unless you have severe ADD or ADHD. Also is it the regular or XR type? You really need to talk to your doc/pdoc about this.

[hamster-bamster]

bea, what if you enlist social support on the Anxiety forum?

Say, you have an audition.

You post: "I have an audition tomorrow. I am committing to going to the audition, no matter what my fears and misgivings are. I may be anxious; I may think that the director embarrasses me; I may be afraid of saying something stupid, but, you know what, I will still SHOW UP, because NOT SHOWING UP is obviously worse than being embarrassed or saying something stupid. If I do not show up, there is no way that I would get an offer to play the part I want, but if I say something that seems stupid to me, the director might actually find it amusing or even endearing - you never know how others would react. So I am going to go. I will post an update to the thread right before I leave house and another right after I come back home (or earlier, if updating from your phone). My goal is not to win this particular audition, but to get in the habit of always SHOWING UP".

I am sure that a lot of folks would give you support and encouragement. And, you'd be accountable.

Maybe this is all you need, sans meds. At least it is worth trying. Social support is that magic ingredient in many a good thing. Since you are already on this site, why not use it to the max?

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I was on Abilify before but it gave me some horrible akithisia, everybody's different though. Really, the best thing for anxiety is therapy.

I agree that therapy is the best thing for anxiety (plus, self-work), but I beg to differ wrt everybody's being different in their reactions to Abilify.

I did not try Abilify because I was afraid of Akathisia. I had already had horrible akathisia on Seroquel and every time I combine two AP's for sleep. Abilify is infamous for causing akathisia, which is its major drawback. I read through clinical studies and, if I recall correctly, a full one fourth of patients taking Abilify developed akathisia. So it is not some odd side effect that you just happened to have being unlucky; it is the most important and frequent side effect of Abilify. Granted, out of ~25% of people who developed akathisia, not everybody developed horrible akathisia - but still, it was a major reason for drug discontinuation.

I think it is an overkill to try to treat a problem that may go away with therapy (and, possibly, weaker medications) by taking an AP that causes such major neurological side effects. A guillotine does cure headaches, but...

[ECHOES]

I currently am taking Lexapro, after being on Prozac many years, with some breaks where I was not taking anything.

Lexapro works amazingly well on my anxiety that also includes suspiciousness/paranoia, particularly in conjunction with my psychodynamic /psychoanalytic psychotherapy.

[AncientMelody]

I'm on Cymbalta right now and I don't feel numb at all. However, the meds can be quite variable for different people. I am on a relatively modest dose too so that may make a difference