EMSAM, having a tough time.

I have another update. Since going down to the 6 mg patch and adding the 2 mg Xanax extended release at night, my sleep is WAY better and uninterrupted. No more 2am wake ups where I lie there for 3 hours crying out of frustration and making it worse with the self-talk like "I'll never sleep again." I do have to deal with a bit of a zombie feeling the next morning because that dose is still in my system, but it covers up for the hyper anxiety I feel in the mornings.

My back is getting better with physical therapy. I can notice a difference when I lie around too much or sit too long at work. My PT said she notices a difference in my general movements and I don't look as "stiff" or "guarded" when I walk in at the beginning of the appointment.

Mood wise, I'm still depressed as hell and having trouble with my temper when dealing with people. This is a little disappointing because I was hoping some of it would be from the insomnia but I guess not.

Have you tried neurontin? Neurontin and clozapine help me sleep and stabilize my mood.

nope....

I agree that neurontin is good stuff...I'm also on clozaril and Emsam. Neurontin (gabapentin) is very calming and I've come to prefer it over PRN klonopin.

Yay! I'm so glad to hear you're doing at least somewhat better. Hope things continue to improve.

Never taken klonopin either so I wouldn't know. I actually have managed to avoid most benzos, sleep meds, or anti-anxiety meds except for xanax. Most of the meds I have been on have been solely antidepressants, although I know there is overlap.

I agree and am on Klonopin 2mgsx3 daily for three years now but I have major chronic pain issues as well so I take Lyrica ( prefab alpine) which is a concentrated / more potent molecule that is active in Neurontin ( Gabapentin) and Lyrica works 20 times better than Neurontin and has less side effects like weight gain, swelling, and helps with nerve pain as well as anxiety but not FDA approved for anxiety medication just an off label side effect that comes in handy for someone wth panic disorder amongst other anxiety d/o's.

Just wanted to update this thread. I stopped EMSAM for good 6 days ago. I couldn't hack it even by going back down to the lowest dose and ultimately the med was harming me more than it was helping. I saw another pdoc in late January for a 2nd opinion because my now former pdoc started pushing ECT as my only option left about 5 months ago. The 2nd opinion pdoc - who is now my new psychiatrist - thinks that my anxiety got under addressed because I am no longer on a SSRI or SNRI and EMSAM's activating properties brought my anxiety out of the shadows and into full view, so to speak. [I provided him with a thorough medication history.] He is going to discuss other options with me when I see him next Monday because I have had big problems with SSRI side effects as well. He understood my reasons for wanting to avoid ECT because he said he has had patients who have not responded to it. He also understands my concerns about my current dependence on Xanax. I cannot take any new antidepressants for two weeks because the MAOI has to be completely out of my system. I can't say I'm feeling much worse without it. About the same.