suicidal ideation as a result of a meds taper

I've been taking 5 mg of risperidone for years and it's a really good med for me. But my neurologist wants me to try tapering it down to a lower dose or ideally, in their opinion, come off it totally as they think its causing the language difficulties I'm having.


So I went from 5mg down to 4.75 mg about 2 months ago and when I did the drop I got bad suicidal ideation which lasted about a week. It was annoying but I got through it.

I waited until I was feeling stable and then dropped down to to 7.5mg about 3 weeks ago and ever since I've been having the suicidal ideation again. I won't act on it, and I don't feel emotionally suicidal, and my life is going better than it has in years, so I have no reason to feel this way. I just get these weird random thoughts that are really annoying, I kind of tell myself when i get them that it's just my brain misfiring.


But I'm a bit frustrated that I can't seem to go lower on the med without having problems. I'm going to wait until my next appointment with my psychiatrist and see what he says, but at this point I'm just inclined to say screw it. I'd rather deal with minor language difficulties than the thoughts.

Just needed to vent, thanks.

So very, very sorry this is happening to you. How awful!

I am not in your shoes and wouldn't want to trespass on the uniqueness of your experience, but I think I would probably prefer language difficulties to suicidal thoughts. But then, who am I.

Sure hope your psychiatrist is able to be helpful to you. If things are going totally south, maybe a consult with a another psychiatrist for a second opinion would be helpful. Maybe not. Don't know really but my heart goes out to you!

I hope the psych can help sort the suicide urges etc

thanks @Willowtiger and @Yaowen

Fortunately my psychiatrist is wonderful and really good at managing my meds and helping me deal with intrusive thoughts.