[BETosca]

Hi all-

This is day 19 of Lexapro 10 mg. I have MDD and GAD. I have been taking ativan 1 mg once a day pretty regularly since the beginning of August. I would say 4-5 times a week, but then I would have stretches of many days where I felt okay without and didn't need it.

From before I stated the Lex, I have had problems staying asleep. I can get to sleep just fine, but I wake up early. And, when I wake up, I'm anxious. It's by far the worst part of the day. I know this is very common with depression. It has continued since starting the Lex. Every morning I will have a debate about whether or not I should take the ativan, and most days I do, though I've had stretches of 2 or 3 days where I felt okay enough not to need to take it. And on those days, I was optimistic that the Lexapro was starting to help "somewhat".

I have never taken more than 1 mg in a 24 hour period, yet I am worried about tolerance. Or that it's somehow making the depression worse. I dunno.

So, I went back to my doc this morning. He thinks that if anything, I'm not taking enough ativan. That I should be taking it a.m., and p.m. before bedtime. He thinks the early waking and early anxiety are simply the SSRI not having kicked in fully yet. Of course, he says, if I happen to wake up normally one morning and *don't* feel anxious, then I wouldn't take one.

Bottom line is that despite my worries, he doesn't think I am addicted.

Funny, I have taken ativan in the past for episodic, acute anxiety and gone off of it no problem, Of course, that was never for more than a couple of weeks at a time. This time around it's different. I probably should have gone on an SSRI much earlier than I did, but, lesson learned, right?

I just really, really want a good night sleep, to wake up at the same time as hubby and kids when the sun is actually up and it's not pitch dark and depressing. Oh, and without any anxiety would be great too.

*SIGH*

[Lemon]

Did you talk to your doctor about increasing the lexapro dosage? I started with 10mg too, but that is a pretty low dose and increasing it may help both your anxiety and sleep. I take 30mg now and I think it is a good dosage for me.

[BETosca]

I did ask him about increasing the Lex. He think that at just under 3 weeks, it's too soon and not long enough to give it a fair shake. I'm going back on Friday so we'll see how things are by then...

[Christina86]

(((((((((((BETosca))))))))))))) At about 3 weeks on Lexapro, you should be able to see some differences in your mood, from my experiences with Lexapro. It's just me, but I found that taking the drug before bed was better for me, than taking it in the morning because it helped me sleep better... perhaps trying that?

If you think you're developing a drug tolerace, definitely talk to him about that on Friday - it's your health.

[BETosca]

Thanks Christina for your reply. I do take the Lexapro at bedtime already. I ended up going back to my doc yesterday after all, because I was so freaked out about the early waking and anxiety and the possibility of developing a tolerance to the ativan. He is not at all concerned about the tolerance thing. I'm not so sure about that- and to be safe I'm doing my darndest to use other methods to combat the bad anxiety when it hits (relaxation breathing, distraction, my CBT exercises, whatever!).

I haven't taken any ativan today. I did have a moment where I was starting to feel anxious and I let myself lay down for a few moments and remind myself that somehow, some way I *will* get through this and turn the corner. One day at a time and all that.