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  #1  
Old May 10, 2009, 07:15 AM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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I have T on Tuesday and I am overly anxious about it - triggery - been stupid - done stupid things - so not coming back till after T on Tues.

Didnt want you to think I dont care about you all - I do - I hope everything is ok - I will be back after T - but cant stay here till then - sorry

take care everyone - I will be thinking of you all and wishing you well - keep your fingers crossed for me for last session wiht this T - Im worried she will trigger me..... pointless worrying about this until it happens - but im triggery... sorry - take care P7
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Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
T on Tuesday - hiding till then...
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet

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  #2  
Old May 10, 2009, 07:22 AM
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deliquesce deliquesce is offline
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good luck, sweetie, i will keep you safe in my thoughts until then and look forward to your return .
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #3  
Old May 10, 2009, 07:26 AM
laura2 laura2 is offline
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biggest hug in the world to you phoenix.....
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #4  
Old May 10, 2009, 07:41 AM
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3velniai 3velniai is offline
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all 3 of the 3velniai group cross their fingers waiting for you to come back and tell how it went
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I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead
I lift my lids and all is born again
I think I made you up inside my head
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phoenix7
  #5  
Old May 10, 2009, 08:28 AM
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mixedup_emotions mixedup_emotions is offline
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Hope Tuesday gets here quickly for you....
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Don't follow the path that lies before you. Instead, veer from the path - and leave a trail...
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phoenix7
  #6  
Old May 10, 2009, 08:36 AM
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lifelesstraveled lifelesstraveled is offline
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((((((((P7))))))))))))
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LLT

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phoenix7
  #7  
Old May 10, 2009, 09:00 AM
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Xtree Xtree is offline
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Good luck phoenix! I will be thinking of you too! ((((P7))))

Xtree
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"People do not fail, they just stop trying"
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  #8  
Old May 10, 2009, 10:24 AM
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Phoenix,
I know this is going to be a very difficult one for you. I really hope your T is very supportive and has a good plan for you. Sending you big Hugs..
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Hangingon

When you feel your nearing the end of your rope tie a knot and hang on !!!
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phoenix7
  #9  
Old May 10, 2009, 06:08 PM
Anonymous29412
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((P7)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

to you!

I hope you might just check in on this one thread so we can support you. You are so supportive to everyone here, and it is okay for you to get some support as well, you know....

I hope your appointment goes well. Be gentle with you.

Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #10  
Old May 10, 2009, 07:09 PM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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sneaks in..... grabs hugs.... says....

Thankyou everyone

sneaks out again.....
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
T on Tuesday - hiding till then...
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
  #11  
Old May 11, 2009, 06:22 AM
sittingatwatersedge sittingatwatersedge is offline
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Posts: 15,166
Dear P7,

just now seeing your post.
Hope T's waiting room is big enough to hold all of us, because we will be with you. take this hug too!!

PS I will give your blanket back for now
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #12  
Old May 11, 2009, 07:42 AM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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sneaks in .....

gets big bag and puts everyone in it .....

puts milk and cookies in bag so no-one is hungry....

sneaks them into T's office.....

will sneak them back afterwards and no-one will be any the wiser...

leaves message ...

Thankyou everyone - hoping you are all safe

sneaks out.....

cuddles up in blanket and goes to sleep - T tomorrow.
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
T on Tuesday - hiding till then...
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
  #13  
Old May 11, 2009, 08:05 AM
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KUREHA KUREHA is offline
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Good Luck tomorrow

Hope it goes well
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If giving in is pointless, then get out of bed or this might be the end.
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phoenix7
  #14  
Old May 11, 2009, 08:13 AM
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deliquesce deliquesce is offline
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good luck sweetie .
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #15  
Old May 11, 2009, 11:33 AM
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pachyderm pachyderm is offline
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(((Sneaky hug)))
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Now if thou would'st
When all have given him o'er
From death to life
Thou might'st him yet recover
-- Michael Drayton 1562 - 1631
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phoenix7
  #16  
Old May 11, 2009, 01:07 PM
laura2 laura2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix7 View Post
sneaks in .....

gets big bag and puts everyone in it .....

puts milk and cookies in bag so no-one is hungry....

sneaks them into T's office.....

will sneak them back afterwards and no-one will be any the wiser...

leaves message ...

Thankyou everyone - hoping you are all safe

sneaks out.....

cuddles up in blanket and goes to sleep - T tomorrow.

phoenix!!! you are such a legend!

despite your anxiety you still manage to cheer US up

love u 2 bits hurry up & get back on let us know how

it went.....
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #17  
Old May 11, 2009, 02:51 PM
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Amazonmom Amazonmom is offline
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I hope you're okay
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"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"

Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more.
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #18  
Old May 11, 2009, 02:57 PM
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taylor43 taylor43 is offline
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Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #19  
Old May 11, 2009, 03:36 PM
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darkrunner darkrunner is offline
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((((((((((((((((((((((P7))))))))))))))))))))))
Thinking of you and sending you strength to hold on.....
  #20  
Old May 11, 2009, 08:19 PM
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My warm thoughts are with you for a good session tomorrow!
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #21  
Old May 11, 2009, 10:01 PM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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you guys and gals are the best! just got back from T - have to get changed and go straight to work - late

will post more later - but T GAVE ME A HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im ok - will post later - have to go - thankyou all
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
T on Tuesday - hiding till then...
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
Thanks for this!
darkrunner
  #22  
Old May 11, 2009, 10:31 PM
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taylor43 taylor43 is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2008
Location: Alberta
Posts: 557
Glad you had a better t session
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
  #23  
Old May 12, 2009, 06:32 AM
sittingatwatersedge sittingatwatersedge is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2008
Posts: 15,166
Quote:
Originally Posted by phoenix7 View Post
sneaks in .....

gets big bag and puts everyone in it .....

puts milk and cookies in bag so no-one is hungry....

sneaks them into T's office.....

will sneak them back afterwards and no-one will be any the wiser...

leaves message ...

Thankyou everyone - hoping you are all safe

sneaks out.....

cuddles up in blanket and goes to sleep - T tomorrow.
hey! who ate all the cookies?
  #24  
Old May 12, 2009, 08:15 AM
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phoenix7 phoenix7 is offline
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ok I went in all adult - my coolest calmest face on -

we did EMDR and suddenly I told her I felt really scared - she put her hand on my hand and then we continued EMDR - then I felt really sad...

and I said I dont want you to go.... I understand why you are going - but I dont want you to go (hmmm adult left child taken over! )

We sat and talked about that for a while and I felt better - I wasnt going to say it ... I was going to be all adult about it - but I couldnt and Im glad I mentioned it ....

then we worked on the storm of emotions I always feel is just waitning to knock me off my feet and destroy me - and the image I have in my head of a child out in the storm being pulled towards it - by the time we had finished - in my mind the little girl was able to get away and go into a house and be safe and the storm died down..

then we dealt with how I felt responsible for my mum and dads deaths (different years) because I was half a world away at the time and felt I should have been able to save them -

she told me remember you are NOT superman
I said - show me a phone booth and i'll show you!!!

and we both laughed!!!!

as I was leaving she got a phone call to ring someone urgently SO i gave her her present but didnt get to see her open it

i had bought T a card that says,

If you hold onto the handle she siad, its easier to maintain the illusion of control.

But it's more fun if you just let the wind carry you

then I wrote - thankyou for helping me realise I dont have to be in control ALL the time

acouple of months ago we had done some visualisation - we planted an apple tree in a place that used to make me sad to make it a happy place - I saw some "Apple Tree Tea" so I have bought her some to remind her of the tree we planted wrote on it - "this is from the tree we planted together"

and I left a small glass bead with Trust on it in the bag - the bag had "making a difference on it " and had a picture of an apple tree on it

I wish I could have seen her open it ...

as I was leaving I said can I ask you if I can do something innappropriate and before I could ask for a hug - she gave me a BIG hug and said "make me proud" I would never in all the universe have thought I would have asked for a hug (dont like being touched)so that was big enough but to get one without asking ....WOW!

It felt like she cared about me - and Im not used to that ... not used to thining I am worth caring about .....

oh and I stoped off at a charity shop and brought a preloved bear - looked like it needed a hug and I needed a cuddly (yes I know - at my age)

SO it went well - dont know who new T wil be - will fnd out when I make my appt in 2 weeks .... phew... very tired - sorry for long post - thankyou all for your support - it really made a difference and meant/means a lot to me.

Sittingatwatersedge - I'm sending you blanket back in the morning - I still need it tonight if thats ok - thankyou and I dont know who ate all the cookies but it wasnt me ok!

(wipes cookie crumbs from front of shirt! finishes off milk and sneaks out holding onto blanket and teddy bear !)
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts
its how many times you get back up!
T on Tuesday - hiding till then...
(Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )

When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown,
Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly.
by Patrick Overton, author and poet
  #25  
Old May 12, 2009, 08:39 AM
laura2 laura2 is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 100
wow!, that's amazing, so glad it went well, you were really brave.....you should be

really proud of yourself!, not surprised you feel tired, that was so emotional!!, i was

ok till i got to the bit "make me proud" ...... good tears, happy ones!, of course she

cares about you, that will never change.

Big monster hug comin over to u phoenix, xxxx
Thanks for this!
phoenix7
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