My T and I never discuss transference

I am not sure what type of transference that I have to my T. My T subscribes to the blank slate theory so I am sure that transference is happening. It seems that many posters talk about transference with their T. Does it mean anything if I do not?

Why not ask him about it? I find my T to be the best source of information. I also use the internet a lot. What do you mean about does it mean anything if you don't? Don't talk about it? or don't think it's transference?

I don't think it necessarily means anything that you don't talk about it. Maybe your T doesn't know that you know what that word means, so he wouldn't be apt to raise that topic.

My T and I don't talk about transference. We have only slightly glanced on it once, when my T told me he doesn't believe in transference. He meant this about the T-client relationship, in that, our relationship is very, very real, and not one based on feelings I had to a parent or lover or ones that he had to a parent or lover. We have genuine feelings for each other. We do talk about our relationship and feelings sometimes. (My T is not a blank slate guy. He is eclectic/humanist.)

I say bring it up with T if it is a topic you wish to discuss!

Good point. I think that my T most likely does not know that I understand what transference means. I think that he uses his blank slate so that I can transfer my feelings from earlier relationships on to him. However, I think that our relationship is unique and that I am not necessarily bringing something from the past into the present during many of our sessions. However, sometimes I catch myself doing exactly that.

My T has told me nothing about him. I don't know if he is married, has children, whether he listens to music or watches TV, or what he does in his spare time. It is like bouncing up against a wall just to spring back or just listening to myself talk which is boring. It feels isolating too.

My T has never mentioned transference to me. I think she avoids naming stuff with me because she knows I will look up everything when I leave.

Chaotic - I ** SO ** get this!!!

keep up the good work

I think this is definitely something worth discussing with your T. It's very important, IMO. I would feel isolated too.

Igottabeme, My T begun our journey rather like a blank slate, but now I'm not so sure she did, I think I was just so unable to know what having a "real caring" person with me was like, I thought having her confide in me every tip bit of your life was what a real caring comrade would do, for sure hadn't my adoptive mother confided all her frustrations at the world and those around her too me? Id grown up and learnt to wanna know everything about somebody because I felt this would please them...because didnt my adoptive mother tell me all about how unfair her life was? Didnt she tell me all her woes regarding her marriage with my adoptive farther? didn't she tell me time and time again how wonderful she was? But apart from what she was telling me, there was nothing else, she didnt' ever hear me, not in any sense, she didnt hear my sorrow, my fears, my joys. She didnt see me, who I was, but T did, and all this she done in such a different way, a way that I was blind to for so long...now I don't see T as a blank slate, perhaps because we've been together a few yrs now that changes, but even in her silence I don't feel shes blank. Give time, time, be prepared for the unprepared and with time you will learn a whole set of new ways to be with a person, a healthy person thats only interest is in growth not in their world....someone that is completely self-less and wants the best for us and will wait patiently until we realise this too.