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#1
May 31, 2009, 09:24 PM
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I find myself getting attached to my T.
This freaks me out. I DONT WANNA get attached. Can't therapy be a business arrangement? Why am I getting attached to her? I wanna tell her about my flashback this week, but why would I? I feel stupid. When I get attached to people, they use that attachment to hurt me, or they abandon me. I think my last session was a huge breakthrough for me...but I am so scared. I feel myself starting to put the walls back up so I can stay safe from attack. 
__________________
"Unipolar is boring! Go Bipolar!"  Amazonmom is not putting up with bad behavior any more. |
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#2
Jun 01, 2009, 12:30 AM
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I feel the same way. I don't think I have deep-seated abandonment issues but I'm so afraid of attachment. I think it's really hard not to, when this person listens to you, is nice to you, doesn't judge you...how can you not get attached, ya know?
Sorry I can't be of more help, but hugs!!!!!!!!! 
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 Amazonmom
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#3
Jun 01, 2009, 06:45 AM
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Amazonmom, I hear you. For the first year of therapy I had a business arrangement approach and was quite comfortable with that. However, now the dynamic has changed and I think I'm attached to my T. I will now likely miss her when I stop. I guess that's the price you pay for learning to feel and be human. I hope all of the benefits I've gained turn out to be worth it.
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| Amazonmom, sittingatwatersedge
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#4
Jun 01, 2009, 07:23 AM
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  Hearing you...... 
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| Amazonmom
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#5
Jun 01, 2009, 09:20 AM
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Amazon mum, I have the same "push-pull" battle going on. Oh the moving from one to the other is where most of the pain was, I'm sure if I could just "hate" T, I'd feel better, but then I'm sure if I could "love" T all of the time I'd feel better, alas besides T's coming and going, theres my own flutuation in moods and needs and that drives me to despair also. I guess we go to a T from our adult "Mind" to learn how to have a balance relationship and a T is the safest person to do this with, can you imagine trying to work through these painful emotions with a work collegue and have her/him come in one day in a foul mood and reject our desire to express how sad or angry we were feeling regarding missing him/her when he/shes not there? Oh its almost unbearable thinking about. So like this you can see how the pain of working through the attachment can't be avoided but it can be much more gentle and sucessful done this way.
ps. Man I'm glad after writing this that I do have a T and am not left to aquientences to work through my emtions.
__________________
Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
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