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#1
Jun 09, 2009, 10:46 AM
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I am noticing my needs are changing regarding relationships. I have been married for almost 24yrs and our marriage has undergone ever test possible and we have survived. I respect my husband very much, and I can see how he has been the naturing mother figure to me all these yrs, and how my neediness has "fed" him, not to any major dysfunctional degree, I mean unless we living/eating/sleeping self awareness and mindfulness, we all to some extent slip into comfortable roles, but suddenly I feel like what I always enjoyed getting from him has faded, I don't need him to give me so much nuturing now.
I think this must be harder for my hubbywubby because his not in therapy, the poor sod is almost like a witness to my recovery and having to adjust whether his wants to or not, well I guess its not completely choiceless for him, he has the option of wanting out if he felt my changes are not what he wants, but his a generous fair guy and wouldn't want anyone to remain stuck, he wishes the best to all mankind, but still, I do feel for him a bit. He gets the backlash of my therapy emotions and sometimes I feel as if I'm cutting him out in favour of T. T once said that if people care enought about you, they will grow with you, I hope so, I mean I want to get old with my husband, his my bestest friend also. But I do notice the ebb and flow between us is changing.
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Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished. If you're alive, it isn't. ~Richard Bach |
 Amazonmom, Pomegranate
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#2
Jun 09, 2009, 11:16 AM
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Interesting. I wonder if that will happen between me and my hubby...
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#3
Jun 12, 2009, 10:21 PM
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To some extent I have been there done that; however I am still there with my dh of 36 years. Any marriage that is good for both parties grows and changes. Sometimes the changes seem easy and other times it can be a real struggle. What has helped us the most was talking. . . to each other and on my part with T about our situation. Keep the lines of communication open and be ready to say those hard words. . . 'I'm sorry,' 'It was my fault.' 'I was wrong.' You say that hubby is your bestest friend, and that is great, do fun things with him. And talk!
__________________
dalila Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere. -Erma Bombeck |
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