[fallenangel337]

Does that question bother anybody else when T asks you that? She asks me that every time I walk in, and I've told her that I'm seriously out of creative ways to answer that question. I was wondering if anyone else experiences this, and how do you respond?

[lifelesstraveled]

HA!!
I hate it when my T asks this question. I usually give my generic response "im fine"...i think it's a combo of it being hard for me to just answer truthfully and not knowing how I am feeling or doing. most of the time I feel nothing...so I am I supposed to answer the question??

I just realized that I set myself up for this question every time! My T always waits for me to kick things off, and I always start by asking her, "How are you?" So then of course, she asks the same of me - AAHHHH! I gotta remember not to do that today. However, I will say that last week was the first time when I really told her the truth - I was feeling crappy physically, and I just told her. And then I proceeded to have my deepest session yet!

[searchingmysoul]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

I just realized that I set myself up for this question every time! My T always waits for me to kick things off, and I always start by asking her, "How are you?" So then of course, she asks the same of me - AAHHHH! I gotta remember not to do that today. However, I will say that last week was the first time when I really told her the truth - I was feeling crappy physically, and I just told her. And then I proceeded to have my deepest session yet!

My T does this exact same thing!!! And I just caught on to it, that's what cracks me up. When she turns it around on me I usually just start in on how my week has gone, things I've thought about etc....

[lindee]

I used to get upset when the therapist that I had NEVER asked me how I was feeling. I always got the impression that he didn't care. I only went to him for a few months. Different strokes for different folks I guess. By the way, I'm OK.

lindee

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

Does that question bother anybody else when T asks you that? She asks me that every time I walk in, and I've told her that I'm seriously out of creative ways to answer that question. I was wondering if anyone else experiences this, and how do you respond?

a. roll you r eyes and say, boy you get straight to the hard questions don't you?

b. sigh heavily and say, oh, same old same old, I guess

c. say, "what? You didn't get my email?"

c. Say, "you remember that email I sent? I take it all back!"

e. Say, "oh - Im doing just fine, thank you."

I pick (e). but she knows better. lol

[Amazonmom]

It drives me nuts. After a while it became "how's your mood today". I should call her on that...(you don't get to treat me different because my diagnosis changed). I have decided one word responses are all she's gonna get. Then she tells me to elaborate. I turn this into a 5 minute game!

I do that because I know she already has an impression of my mood from the moment I walk in the door. If she already knows, why is she asking me???? (She made the mistake of telling me about her observation of clients). It is an especially fun game because she knows me enough to know that I never have just one word to say about anything.

My word lately has been "crappy". Maybe I should say "wonderful" this week.

[Brightheart]

With my T it was usually, " So how's it going?" "How have you been feeling?" "What have you been thinking? " (his personal favorite) And after I answered his question I could then ask him how he was doing. This might sound weird, but it's one of the things I miss the most. I loved telling him what I was thinking. It's just a simple thing, but a simple courteous thing. I don't think it ever bothered me unless I couldn't find the words. I always wanted to tell him everything. Still miss him...

[fallenangel337]

I love reading your replies!

Watersedge, I'm so tempted to use "a" next week!

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by fallenangel337

I love reading your replies!

Watersedge, I'm so tempted to use "a" next week!

go ahead and use it. I've about used it to death.

but prepare yourself; what if yr T says, "Oh no, you don't know SAWE do you?!?! "

seriously - I see T tomorrow and i am worried. I can't answer the queston as I don't KNOW how I am doing but I can't shake the impression that I am doing badly. yikes.

[fallenangel337]

I can never answer the question, so I usually just say "ok" or avoid answering altogether by switching subjects. Today worked out nicely, because as soon as I got in her office, she immediately responded to something that I left on her voicemail, so I was able to avoid the question.

[googley]

My T almost never asks me how I'm feeling at the beginning of sessions. Instead we have a pattern of her waiting until I'm ready and settled enough to talk. If it takes too long, then she might start with "what are you thinking about?" But hardly ever, "how are you feeling?" Once in was "What's wrong?" When I came in and was obviously upset. I don't think I would like "How are you?" every time. If she did ask that, I think I would ask that she find a different way to phrase it each visit so as not to get boring.

[hangingon]

LOL my old T would always ask how I was and I always answered im ok. Well after 8 months of seeing her she said you have seen me long enough to give me and honest answer, course jokingly when she said it.

My new T use to always ask, so what would you like to talk about today. I hated that question, so one day it came out of my mouth, she asked and I said, I hate that question. She said, I don't always ask everyone that question, I didn't push it any further, just left it at that and haven't noticed it being said in a while.

[chaotic13]

I have to say my T is fairly creative uses a variety of starting lines. Sometimes she jumps right in sometime we do a little superficial chit-chat. I think starting a session would be something they talk about a lot it T training. Seems like to me the 1st 5 minutes of the session is very important to what get discussed and what gets avoided.

My T usually asks me how I'm doing. And then whatever my response is, he'll repeat it back to me. So, I'll say "fine" and he'll say "fine". And then I'll correct him if I'm not really fine... Something about hearing it come back at me out of his mouth makes me more aware of whether or not it's right. Hmmm.....

Oh, or I'll say "fine" or "good" or "stressed" and he'll say "what makes things fine?" and I HATE that.

Waaah! T is on vacation! I've been too busy to think about it, but being on psychcentral is reminding me.

Well, go figure - I didn't ask T how she was to start things off today, but she surprised me and asked how I was - twice! Luckily, the answer was "good" both times, and I truly meant it. We had a great session!

[Luce]

When I first started with my recent (now ex) T, I used to get triggered at the start of every session by her opening line. She's a very happy, cheerful person, and every week she would start with a far TOO cheerful, over-the-top-smiley "So, how are you today?" Every time I would get triggered into either frightened silence, or a happy, cheerful, nothing-is-wrong-here "fine, thank you."

It took me a few weeks to figure out that it reminded me of the dynamics with my father abuser. He would abuse in the night, then every morning very cheerily greet me and demand an equally cheerful reply. I guess the dynamic it triggered for me was denial.

Once I figured out what was going on for me I was able to control my response better. At the beginning of each session I reminded myself she was not my father, she was simply being her cheerful self, and I could choose to respond honestly if I wanted to. So from then on I did. Sometimes I would tell her the week was ok, other times I would tell her my week was crap, or I felt anxious, or depressed, or whatever. And I found that she would go with me and match my mood, so in reality it didn't mirror the dynamic with my father at all.

Overall her irrepressible cheerfulness was still annoying though!

[MINIME]

If they ask in the hall around others and if ur t has a good sense of humor u can say hey i saw u on cops that was wild when u .... Add lol i have done stuff like this it was fun but only if ur t is safe to joke with.

[ECHOES]

It's just an opener, but asked with interest and concern, I think. A greeting that is an invitation to 'begin where you are', with what is on your mind.
My T says, 'So how have you been?' Sometimes I have a lot to tell her about how I've been, other times it's just like greeting a friend who says 'Hi how are ya', and I respond 'Good' and we just go from there.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

It's just an opener, but asked with interest and concern, I think. A greeting that is an invitation to 'begin where you are', with what is on your mind.
My T says, 'So how have you been?' Sometimes I have a lot to tell her about how I've been, other times it's just like greeting a friend who says 'Hi how are ya', and I respond 'Good' and we just go from there.

Right - agree - but it feels (to me anyway) more like, "so - how much good did our last session do you?"
And since three whole weeks usually pass before the next one, it's pretty much a given that either something happened that triggered me, or I will have just spiralled out all by myself. so the answer never seems to be " just fine, thank you" - not truthfully.

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by MINIME

If they ask in the hall around others and if ur t has a good sense of humor u can say hey i saw u on cops that was wild when u .... Add lol i have done stuff like this it was fun but only if ur t is safe to joke with.

Minime you are a stitch!!!

[3velniai]

my t usually starts with "so how things have been since we last met" (she uses "things" instead of "you" because it's ok to talk about things and not ok to talk abou me, lol) and I always respond with "normal". Then we talk about what "normal" means to me on that day. IMO it's a perfect start Sometimes she starts with something i wrote emailed her between sessions or some event that she knows took place between appts, like some major work stuff or concert.

[dalila]

My therapist usually says either, 'How have things been?' or 'I'm all yours now.' Sometimes she opens with; 'What's been happening with you?' Any of these seem to work out well for me. If she was to start with how are you - I would be as likely to say - I dunno, or fine - as you all do. Generally she seems to change her opening statements pretty often.