[Xtree]

I feel like I want to quit or cancel my next appointment all the time, I struggle with it constantly. I have to dig deep inside to resist and refrain. One of these days I am going to fail and just walk away and then regret it. It is always all or nothing with me.

I got as close as telling her once when I was upset that I needed time off. She asked if I would like to come in and discuss it and I said no, and she said, "okay, call me when you are ready". Knowing me I would never make that call.

Xtree

[peaches100]

Xtree,

I don't know when the feeling of wanting to quit goes away. I feel it on an almost cyclic basis. Usually, when i feel like quitting, it's because i'm feeling overwhelmed or fearful of where we're going in therapy. . .getting too deep into stuff that's scary. Or it's because i'm somehow frustrated with my progress or disappointed/hurt by something my t said or did. My t told me once that whenever i feel the most strongly that i want to quit and don't want to be there, that is the time when i most need to be there.

Can you identify what's behind your feeling of wanting to quit???

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by peaches100

Xtree,

I don't know when the feeling of wanting to quit goes away. I feel it on an almost cyclic basis. Usually, when i feel like quitting, it's because i'm feeling overwhelmed or fearful of where we're going in therapy. . .getting too deep into stuff that's scary. Or it's because i'm somehow frustrated with my progress or disappointed/hurt by something my t said or did. My t told me once that whenever i feel the most strongly that i want to quit and don't want to be there, that is the time when i most need to be there.

Can you identify what's behind your feeling of wanting to quit???

Peaches said every single thing that I wanted to tell you!

I had to laugh when I read the title of this thread, because it sounds so much like me. I feel Peaches post explains it all, so wise....
Therapy IS very hard and to me it is like not wanting to touch the hot stove. I think it is natural for us to avoid pain at all cost, whether physical or mental. You are doing okay, and it is great that you see that you are doing this. It took me a long time to realize this about myself.

[Mouse_]

When one starts to see and feel the benefits of working on difficult issues. Theres been times when I felt I can't go on, but underneath that was the memory of what brought me into therapy, the alcoholism, the hospitals the suicide attempts, so I knew for me, to quit was to die. But now I notice the benefits of the past 6yrs work, I know forward is what I want more than anything.

[sw628]

(((Peaches))))) pretty much says it all. However I have been in a weird situation. My T is always reminding me of her open door policy. I understand she wants me to know that i can come and go as i please, but I'm starting to wonder if she just wants me to leave already. I mean if i want to leave i will let her know, but I feel as though she reminds me on a constant basis. It's like i don't get a chance to say i need a break, she has to be the one to say it first. Is this her way of protecting her feelings? Have you guys ever run into this problem?

[hangingon]

Xtree,
I feel like that alot as well. For me its the thought of not wanting to allow someone that control over me in fear of being hurt again. I'm afraid to be really vunerable because I am afraid my T will use it against me.
I often wonder if thats a good thing to do, so I test it by allowing myself to be a little bit vulernable, then something happens, and I want to pull right back up into my shell where I have some sense of safety.

If my T said what yours did, I woud immediately assume she was trying to get rid of me. I mentioned something like that to my T recently. I'ts like I am constantly waiting for her to fail me. But on the other hand it's so frustrating because I want to trust her.
If I ever became a T, I would be so very sensitive with the use of words with my patient's and offering of opinions would be out of the subject.
I would say one time. I want you to know if you ever need a break, its ok to take one, I would never think badly of you for that and I would keep your spot open and waiting just for you.

I often think that T's who have been through things must make the best therapist having been there and knowing what its like. I am pretty convinced they would. Not that people who haven't can't be good therapist, but how can they truly relate in a sense?
Ok , I went way off track there

[snow77]

Xtree,
Thanks for your post as this has been a really hard for me also to continualy have the feeling of wanting to quit, I thought it was just me! from the replys I understand now this must be a quite a common feeling for people in therapy.
I think like Mouse has said that when you see the benfits this must make it eaiser.
Hope those benfits come soon
Best wishes
Snow77