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#1
Jun 26, 2009, 04:06 PM
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So I talked to T today and asked if she could talk to the new pdoc I'm trying to get with, because he hasn't returned any of my phone calls. So she apparently talked to him.
You know how I know she talked to him? Because he called my mom AT HER WORK to schedule an appointment for ME.  So he scheduled the appointment with her, and asked her to come with me for my first appointment. WHAT!?!?!?!?! She told him that I've been going on my own, but he said he likes to talk to the parents. This isn't my first pdoc experience...all he has to do is see how I'm doing, write me my prescription, and I'll be on my way. He doesn't have to get her involved. It's not like i would lie to him just to get meds. i don't even like taking them, but between meds and me jumping off a bridge, I'll take the meds. Also, if anything I say is questionable, he is more than welcome to go talk to T about it... I am a month shy of being eighteen...I can make my own appointments, no I NEED to make my own appointments. I have a hectic schedule...what if this appointment day doesn't work out for me? They don't know...And asking mom to come in is a HUGE violation for me. She doesn't know half of the s*** that is going on in my life. How can her account be any more accurate than mine?  I am so close to canceling the appointment. I'm already pissed off at him, and I haven't even met him yet. How can I expect to do anything therapeutic with him if I can't trust him in the least. I am SO pissed off right now. I haven't cried in what seems like forever, but I was bawling after I got off the phone with mom.
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
 Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#2
Jun 26, 2009, 04:17 PM
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Do you mean the T expects your mom to be in the room at your next session? I would think that is way off base even if you weren't real close to being 18. If you were 12 I wouldn't think the parent should be in the room because the majority of people's problems that they go to therapy for are actually caused by the parent. Not saying that's your case because I don't know anything about you. But I would think therapists should not allow parents in the room if kids are over say 6 years old. I wonder if there is a HIPAA regulation that covers this for therapy?
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#3
Jun 26, 2009, 04:22 PM
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Quote:
This is a GREAT way for him to start our therapeutic relationship.
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#4
Jun 26, 2009, 04:27 PM
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I would be furious too.
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#5
Jun 26, 2009, 05:36 PM
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(((((((((((((((angel))))))))))))))))
Can you ask for a referral to a different pdoc?? 
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#6
Jun 26, 2009, 05:43 PM
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Quote:
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#7
Jun 26, 2009, 05:44 PM
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You could reschedule for a month from now when you will be 18.
Your mom could tell him she will not be coming. He may "like" talking to the parents and that may be his policy but.. it's his policy. Your mom can say No. You can say No. You don't need a reason. It is your privacy policy  Have you talked to T about this? He is not the only pdoc out there. |
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#8
Jun 26, 2009, 05:45 PM
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Hey angel....
If you're interview is scheduled for a date after you have turned 18, I would just show up alone. Once you're 18, legally you are an adult and the P-doc can't say much about it other than he won't treat you. I don't think he can decline to treat you if you don't bring a parent then, it would be patient abandonment and there are some laws in place for doctors to protect patients/clients. If he refuses to see you without a parent present after you're 18, you can report him to the medical board. If he refuses to see you without your parent in the room before you're 18, I believe you can report him for a HIPPA violation, as this violates your right to keep your health information private and you are old enough to make that request. Good luck to you. 
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#9
Jun 26, 2009, 06:01 PM
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Fallen,
OK, I can totally understand why you are upset. At 17 I didn't want my parents involved in my life at all (other than to pay for ****:-). I'm responding from a parent perspective...so you may not share my opinion and that's OK. This month you are still a minor and if I am reading your post correctly this will be your FIRST meeting with this pdoc, correct? Although you do not seem to want your mother involved, maybe she has to be. At least to initiate and provide her legal consent for him to treat you. Also since it is your first visit, and he doesn't really know you yet, he is likely to be assuming (correct or not) that you are not ready to assume full responsibilty for your own health care decisions. Here is my parent perspective: IDK what the actual law says, but as a parent, if a pdoc was calling and giving Rx's to my child without my permission or without me having authorized this service...I would be PISSED!! I am NOT in any way saying that you cannot make good decision regarding your health care. I'm saying this because of my experiences with the health care system. There are A LOT of bad doctors practicing medicine. Personally would want to first meet and check out ANY physician, dentist, psychologist,...etc that was rendering care to my children before signed my off on anything. It seems to me you have two options at the moment. 1) speak with your mother and allow her to at least come to the appointment with you, if only to sign the paperwork. Or 2) cancel your appointment and reschedule it for next month when you are 18 and legally considered an adult. At this point if your mother knows and has scheduled the appointment maybe you can just tell her. "Hey, I love you mom, but I don't want you in the room while I am talking with the pdoc." Maybe work it out with her before going. For example maybe she has some questions/concerns about your care or general condition. This month she is entitled to ask those questions. Get her to agree that she will go, shake the pdoc's hand, sign the papers, ask her questions then leave the room so you can talk privately with him. Before disclosing a bunch of stuff, simple ask him if he will respect your right to privacy. If he says no, tell him the bear minimum you have to to get your Rx and go. Then spill everything after your 18. If your mom is not likely to respect your wishes, then reschedule the appointment for next month and handle the scheduling and paperwork yourself. If you really think your mom is a meddler then, just wait a month and handle everything yourself. In the big picture, what's one month? You can call your old pdoc for an Rx to hold you over if necessary. BTW, I am going to assume that you pdoc had some legal reaspn for not calling you back promptly and making you go through your T and mom to communicate with him...But after next month, that doctor would be returning my phone calls in a timely manner or he wouldn't be my pdoc. Your entitled to at the very least a call back from his RN or PA when YOU call. I'd be sure to ask about how he typically handles patient calls. |
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#10
Jun 26, 2009, 06:02 PM
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I don't think he can legally do that if I say no, because it has always been my understanding that the age of consent with T is 18, and pdoc is 16. I've been told that by 3 different doctors in that practice, so if that is the case, me saying no should be enough, legally. If what I've been told is correct, I'm already past the age of consent with pdoc.
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#11
Jun 26, 2009, 06:10 PM
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The thing I don't understand is, my mom has no problem letting therapy be a confidential place for me...she has said that from day one. And she knows I have good enough judgment to know if something isn't right as far as doctors go. There shouldn't be any paperwork to sign...there wasn't with my old pdoc, and that was my first pdoc appointment ever. In fact, mom never even met my old pdoc...she talked to him once the schedule my first appointment, and that was it. This will be the 4th clinician that I've seen there, so there should be no confusion about my mom's consent for me to be treated. About the call...we both had thoughts along the same lines, so mom called and left him a voice mail about 2 months ago, and he didn't respond to her, either. It took T getting involved for him to give me the time of day. I would totally call my old pdoc if I could...the only reason I have to switch is because old pdoc moved, so I have no way to get in touch with him. If I could still be seeing my old pdoc, i would be, because I really liked him, but since he moved, I needed to find a new one. *sigh* This s*** is so much more stressful than it should be. Isn't this what files are for in the first place? So he knows that the info is legit and whatnot...Besides, my papers my parents signed giving them permission to treat me are in there... I feel like if he has questions about MY treatment, he should either ask myself or T...NOT my mom.
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#12
Jun 26, 2009, 06:18 PM
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Again... Totally from a parent perspective...16 sounds a bit you for making pharmocological decisons. Maybe this is true. Afterall, we now have JrHS giving kids Rx for birth control--I know a totally different issue there.
Maybe at 16 you have the right to have your medical information kept confidential and to choose what care you are willing to receive.But what I wonder is you can legally consent to initiate care? IDK... Just seems like it you REALLY don't want your mother involved, then wait a month. |
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#13
Jun 26, 2009, 06:20 PM
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Again... Totally from a parent perspective...16 sounds a bit you for making pharmocological decisons. Maybe this is true. Afterall, we now have JrHS giving kids Rx for birth control--I know a totally different issue there.
Maybe at 16 you have the right to have your medical information kept confidential and to choose what care you are willing to receive.But what I wonder is, can you legally consent to initiate care? IDK... Just seems like it you REALLY don't want your mother involved, then wait a month. BTW, I totally get where you are coming from with wanting your privacy. In completing my paperwork with my GP, I don't even allow them to leave messages with my H regard dumb stuff like.. Cholesterol results. I'm not even sure if I listed an emergency contact. If something happens to me..i guess I'll be a ward of the state until I wake up and sy they can call someone. LOL |
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#14
Jun 26, 2009, 06:21 PM
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Quote:
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#15
Jun 26, 2009, 06:30 PM
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The unwillingness to return calls promptly would be the clincher for me.
I would assume he is too busy to take on an additional patient. |
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#16
Jun 26, 2009, 06:30 PM
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but it sucks because I have no more refills on my meds, and I have about a week's worth left, ([/QUOTE]
Can you call the office of you old pdoc. They can likely issue you a 1 month refill while you are waiting for you appointment. Also, you might contact the pharmacy. Often they are able to proved a week or so of meds while you attempt to transfer care. As long as it is the same medication that you've been taking. You could also try, if your records were transfered, to have the new pdoc issue you an Rx until you see him. Depending on the medication there is likely a way to fill the gap short term. How about your GP. I know that if I were in a pinch he would likely be willing to write an Rx while I switched doctors. |
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#17
Jun 26, 2009, 06:37 PM
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Also, I move less than a week after I turn 18, so it seems like a wasted effort. I can just find a new one when I get to where I'm going. If I'm not mistaken, I can see a pdoc for free through the school I'm going to, so that'll kill two birds with one stone.
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#18
Jun 26, 2009, 09:23 PM
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fallenangel, it sounds like it's not worth it to start with this new pdoc since you are moving anyway. You would only see him once. Why not go to your regular doctor, explain the situation, and ask him/her to fill your scripts for 1-2 months, until you can get settled in your new location and locate a pdoc?
There may be some requirement that the pdoc see a minor with a parent at the first meeting. I know when my teenaged daughter started with a therapist, the first meeting was with all three of us. I think maybe we were together for half an hour, then daughter alone for half an hour. My daughter was assured total confidentiality, and she has been with this T for two years and T has never broken that. The meeting with me and daughter was to go over basic things, her approach to treatment, review the confidentiality policy so daughter could see T explaining firmly to me that I would NOT be part of their therapy (helps build trust for the T in the teen). Similarly, with my family therapist, who I saw for joint therapy with my daughter, he does much the same with teens he sees individually. I know because I see them all the time in the waiting room. He meets first in a threesome (or foursome with both parents), then it is just him and the teen from then on (unless it is family therapy). So I think this is very common, and perhaps some sort of requirement. I don't think you will have to discuss personal things. He may say some general things, like, he tries to encourage healthy habits like good diet, exercise, etc., and may talk about his experience and his practice so that mom and daughter can be reassured he is competent. Sometimes, for some conditions, such as ADHD, the pdoc or T likes to get a second assessment of the person's symptoms, because the client is not always accurate in assessing how well they are doing on a med, so they ask a person who lives with the client. But pdoc would get your permission first before doing this and it would probably not be at the first meeting. At first I thought it is kind of odd pdoc called your mother to schedule the appointment, since you were the one who originally made the appointment (right?), but again, maybe this is some sort of requirement and he isn't allowed to call a minor directly. The family therapist of me and my daughter has called me before (e.g. to change an appointment time or about billing question) but never called my minor daughter himself. I think perhaps there might be some sort of ethical prohibition on that. So I think you may have put pdoc into a bit of an awkward position by being a minor and calling yourself. He probably cannot call you back. I know this feels awful right now. You feel like an adult and able to make your own decisions and arrangements. But legally, you are still a minor. You are almost 18, though, and then you will be on your own! Hang with it, you are almost there. Until you are 18, try getting your Rx from your GP this one time. Good luck!
__________________
"Therapists are experts at developing therapeutic relationships." |
 fallenangel337
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#19
Jun 26, 2009, 09:55 PM
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Maybe I was just caught off guard with this all...It's just weird because old T, new T, and old pdoc have NEVER called and scheduled an appointment with my mom...even the first one. They've ALWAYS called me. Maybe you all are right, and this is just a legal thing with the new pdoc, but it doesn't make any sense, given my history with this place.
__________________
There is poetry in despair.
Love attracts all those who taint the cherished. |
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#20
Jun 27, 2009, 01:36 AM
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for what it's worth, fallen, i dont think this pdoc wants your mum there to verify what you are saying as true. my pdoc has said he does ask parents to come in if they can, because it helps him get a feel for family dynamic and how much support you get at home. i have never invited my parents though, because it is my space. my pdoc respects that (but then... i started seeing him at 20).
so i dont know if it is a legal thing, or if it is an information gathering thing, but i really really really doubt it is because your pdoc doesn't trust what you yourself have to say. but since you are moving i dont think i would bother with this pdoc. he sounds like too much trouble if your T had to get involved for him to just return a call. i dont know how it works in America but i've had pharmacies give me prescriptions to tide me over for a week or two until i could get a new prescription. maybe that is something you could try? |
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