Disclosing TMI in T?

As you all know, I've been having trouble talking about something in T. The main reason is because it involves a lot of TMI, and quite frankly, it's sort of awkward to talk about. Does anyone else have this problem? How do you make things less awkward to discuss? Are there any boundaries with TMI?

My T says I can tell her anything, even if I think she won't approve or she might be disgusted with me. She says she will always be willing to listen to me and help...and she won't judge me.

She also has told me that if something keeps coming up as something I want to tell her, I should probably tell her. If it is hard to say, she can help me say it.

I bet your T will be the same way.

I'm honestly not worried about her judging me...she's already told me that it's her top priority not to make any judgments, so it's not really that. It's just that I'm still an awkward teenager bordering adulthood. So I feel like I should be able to disclose TMI, but at the same time, it's hella awkward for me to do so.

Everyone has their own boundaries. We can't tell you what yours are, you have to decide that yourself. Don't tell anything that you're not ready to tell. You can always talk in generalities or euphemisms if you have trouble saying it outright. For example, I have told my T before that my XH was not a good lover, that he didn't even really like sex. But I haven't gone into specifics about how he was not a good lover, what he did or didn't do, etc. I didn't see a need for that. The point was that he didn't like sex and so that was the point I focused on making. Sometimes we can get the point across without needing to tell the details, which might be TMI.

I'm trying to discuss a forced sexual encounter. We really need to work through it, but I don't know how to describe what happened without TMI. The situation in general is TMI, so it's hard for me.

Maybe you could bring up a general topic like date rape and ask how she feels or what she knows about it. Or if she's ever had a patient dealt with the issue. That might be a way to bring it up for discussion and as she talks about it it might make your feel more comfortable to then share your experience with her.

My T never pushes. She's told me before that "I can tell there are things too painful for you to talk about so I'm not going to force it out of you.".

She already knows basically what happened, but she doesn't know what happened before, what led up to it, etc. She's also told me that it's completely on my time, and there's no pressure for me to share. I want to, because I want to get rid of it, but I really don't know how.

I find that when I'm uncomfortable talking about certain details, I start journaling and let my T read it...it helps me get it out, gets him to know about it, but doesn't get me to say it aloud. It's very helpful for me to do it this way....

((((((((((((((((((fallenangel))))))))))))))))))))

I have written things down before when they have felt to hard to say but I needed T to know them. You could even just write the words that are too hard to say. T thinks it's REALLY important for me to find a way to get things out when I am ready to say them but they are too hard to say, so he will suggest writing, drawing, whatever helps. Sometimes after I write them, I can say them.

T has even guessed before to help me. Is it this? This? And then I'll finally just say "no, it's THIS".

Don't rush yourself. There was one detail of my rape that I was unable to say for months and months and MONTHS...T didn't even know that I was leaving something out...when I finally managed to say it, I had been triggered and HAD to get it out, and it literally took me an entire session to say the word. An entire NINETY minute session! It was awful, but a huge turning point in my healing.

I know how hard it is....take your time, and rest in the fact that T won't judge you, and genuinely wants to help.

I also used to let my first T read some of my journal when I couldn't say the words. With my most recent T, I wanted to talk about anatomy, which is hard for me. I put something in front of my face and told her. It was important for me to say the words, but I couldn't look at her. I didn't die of embarassment, though I thought I would!

I think it helps not to look at your T when you're saying difficult things. My T also told me that nothing would shock her, and it's okay to tell her anything. That was always reassuring.

Good luck! You will probably feel very relieved after you say what you want to say.

There were a couple of huge things that I revealed to my T and both were very personal and embarrassing. Whenever I had to do this, I'd close my eyes and shrink down in the chair. I gave him a few clues and he filled in the blanks. The rest I whispered. It's tough being so completely exposed to someone, but I doubt very much that you will ever regret doing so. It will bring you closer to your T and that closeness will make disclosing in the future a little bit easier.

I'm feeling tonight like I gave too much info last session. It was received OK, it just makes me nervous about next session.

I'm so nervous about tomorrow as well. I'm hoping I can at least start telling her what happened, but I don't know.

I'm not worried about how she will take it, or if she'll judge me...those are seriously the least of my worries. I just don't know how to say what I need to and put my own self at a state of ease.