[MissCharlotte]

Haven't posted much because I don't know what to say anymore. I feel a little blah. My relationship with T goes very deep now and I am very comfortable with him MOST of the time. We are working really hard on the integration piece of my puzzle. I had a dream last night about a little girl swimming and I wanted to help her because she was getting into water over her head. But her dad was standing there and said to leave her, she could do it herself. I think the dad was T and the little girl was me. I do feel securely attached to him and safe in that attachment. The end result is that I don't call much between sessions anymore. However, when I do feel like I need to call I hesitate--still.

A part of me feels like this is the hard and trudging part of therapy...the part where I have to accept that daily life doesn't have to be so painful all the time, and thus can feel boring if you've had a life filled with trauma and drama.

I know I still have lots of work to do with T. The suicidal ideation occasionally returns (as it did last week) with a vengeance and I still dissociate, but not nearly as often as I used to. T said I seemed "reconstituted" this week. I guess that means my crisis of last week is over. We fall apart and come back together again like Humpty Dumpty.

I still panic over T's impending vacation because of the obvious. I can handle a week....I can't handle 3. Last year I asked him for a note and this year I'm asking for his voice on a relaxation recording. I am so so worried about that long separation, like many of you.

Peaceout.

(((((((((((((((((Miss))))))))))))))))))

I love reading about your secure attachment. Oh, to be securely attached! I've gone in and out of that, and I know how good and safe it feels.

I'm glad you're feeling better this week.

And yeah, T's really need to get this whole vacation thing in check!

[Tumnus]

Originally Posted by treehouse

And yeah, T's really need to get this whole vacation thing in check!

Fully agree!

[Tumnus]

Originally Posted by MissCharlotte

We fall apart and come back together again like Humpty Dumpty.

I love this line! Shows a great picture. Sorry about your T taking such a long vacation!

[ECHOES]

And yeah, T's really need to get this whole vacation thing in check!

Maybe cloning DOES have it's usefulness...

[ECHOES]

(((MissC))) It's so nice to read your post and feel some of that good place where you are.

MissC, it sounds like you are working very hard, and what a dream that was! I hope it continues to get better for you after your difficult week.

And yeah, T's really need to get this whole vacation thing in check!

Can I get an AMEN!

[sw628]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

MissC, it sounds like you are working very hard, and what a dream that was! I hope it continues to get better for you after your difficult week.


Can I get an AMEN!

Seriously. I don't know any other job that would allow someone to take 3-4 weeks of vacation!... Unless you are some sort teacher
( primary,secondary, university).
I guess I don't get it.
T wants client to become attached( that's the goal at least)
T leaves on vacation for 3-4 weeks
Client is left wondering "wtf"? Oh well.

[MissCharlotte]

Originally Posted by sw628

Seriously. I don't know any other job that would allow someone to take 3-4 weeks of vacation!... Unless you are some sort teacher
( primary,secondary, university).
I guess I don't get it.
T wants client to become attached( that's the goal at least)
T leaves on vacation for 3-4 weeks
Client is left wondering "wtf"? Oh well.

Haha I am a teacher! So I guess i shouldn't complain because my vacation is longer than his ! But then again my students are not attached in the same way. They ard happy when vacation time rolls around.

[Melbadaze]

MissC, Sounds calm for you at the moment.

[MissCharlotte]

Originally Posted by Melbadaze

MissC, Sounds calm for you at the moment.

Yeah, calm is my goal. I want to keep it that way.