[mrsnacho]

This week I started with a new therapist. Before I explain what I want opinions on, keep in mind that I found out end of July that I have Squamous Cell Carcinoma, which is an aggressive form of skin cancer. The doctor thinks it was caught early enough that it didn't get into my blood stream or elsewhere but they're going to do a head-to-toe exam and re-biopsy the area in November.

Back to the therapist... she wanted to know what other health issues I've had and ended up telling her this because between the cancer diagnosis and the only grandfather I've ever known passing away, it contributed to my being in the state I'm in now. She (the therapist) immediately launched into a 5 minute information overload on how we'll be discussing "proper" vegetables and fruits with supplemental vitamins to purify my body and rid itself of cancer. She seemed almost aggressive in this talk and for some reason it really put me off. I'm sort of dreading having to talk with her later about this because I don't do so well with people who come across as authoritative without education to back it up. They come across to my like used cars salesmen almost, do you know what I mean?

Welcome, mrsnacho! Love your name.

I'm very sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but that's good news that the doctors think they caught it in time.

Did you get a referral to this T (therapist)? Is this T supposed to be knowledgeable in health issues? I think that would put me off, too. In fact, I had a similar experience - my first visit to a T (not the one I have now), I was saying how badly I wanted to lose weight, and she started giving me advice that just really turned me off - asking me how I eat, if I'd done this exercise, if I'd tried this or that. The point was that she wasn't listening to me, or at least I certainly didn't feel heard. Needless to say, I didn't go back to that T!

Can you talk to this T about how you didn't care for her going into authoritative mode on you? If you think that won't do any good, or this T won't change, maybe this isn't the right T for you.

Good luck!

[sunrise]

Hi mrsnacho, and welcome to PC.

Did your new therapist ask "what brings you to therapy?" or something like that? What did you say? Is her emphasis on your diet something you said you wanted help with? If it's not, you can remind her of the reasons you are coming to therapy and say that at least at first, you'd like to stick to your most pressing needs. If she doesn't listen to you and insists on pushing her own agenda, I'd say look elsewhere. (I think one of the most important qualities in a therapist is the ability to listen.)

[skeksi]

Originally Posted by mrsnacho

She (the therapist) immediately launched into a 5 minute information overload on how we'll be discussing "proper" vegetables and fruits with supplemental vitamins to purify my body and rid itself of cancer.

I'd be put off by that response, too. Personally, were I fighting cancer, I'd prefer to get medical advice from my oncologist, not my therapist! So I get the used-car salesman vibe you describe. Not only does such talk come off as trying to "sell you" an approach, but it seems like a way to put responsibility for the cancer on your shoulders. Both leave a bad taste in my mouth.

[Dr.Muffin]

Originally Posted by skeksi

I'd be put off by that response, too. Personally, were I fighting cancer, I'd prefer to get medical advice from my oncologist, not my therapist! So I get the used-car salesman vibe you describe. Not only does such talk come off as trying to "sell you" an approach, but it seems like a way to put responsibility for the cancer on your shoulders. Both leave a bad taste in my mouth.

i had a similar response. its not like you asked, what she thought you should eat and things of that nature. it came off a little rigid to me, like thats the only way to help a person with cancer and kinda smacks of quackery, quite honestly.

[mrsnacho]

Originally Posted by dreamseeker9

Welcome, mrsnacho! Love your name.

I'm very sorry to hear about your diagnosis, but that's good news that the doctors think they caught it in time.

Did you get a referral to this T (therapist)? Is this T supposed to be knowledgeable in health issues? I think that would put me off, too. In fact, I had a similar experience - my first visit to a T (not the one I have now), I was saying how badly I wanted to lose weight, and she started giving me advice that just really turned me off - asking me how I eat, if I'd done this exercise, if I'd tried this or that. The point was that she wasn't listening to me, or at least I certainly didn't feel heard. Needless to say, I didn't go back to that T!

Can you talk to this T about how you didn't care for her going into authoritative mode on you? If you think that won't do any good, or this T won't change, maybe this isn't the right T for you.

Good luck!

Thanks! My husband's nickname is Nacho so it comes in handy for an ID haha. I'm torn on this therapist because while she didn't come across in a way that clicked with me, she DID diagnose the Dissociative Amnesia and Depersonalization Disorder that I'd never heard of before but fits me to a "T". And my doctor confirmed them as well so I felt like the hardest step was taken towards healing. As for the T, I want to be open minded and give her a try. However if I find I just can't progress with her, the therapist I saw last will be back at work in a month and she was great.

Funny thing about the nutritional stuff... the same day I saw her I was online and the website I was on had an article talking about how mango has anti-carcinogens in them and people fighting cancer should consume x number of them. Maybe there's truth to it? I just didn't like how she came across with the way she spoke about it. It put me off.

[mrsnacho]

Originally Posted by sunrise

Hi mrsnacho, and welcome to PC.

Did your new therapist ask "what brings you to therapy?" or something like that? What did you say? Is her emphasis on your diet something you said you wanted help with? If it's not, you can remind her of the reasons you are coming to therapy and say that at least at first, you'd like to stick to your most pressing needs. If she doesn't listen to you and insists on pushing her own agenda, I'd say look elsewhere. (I think one of the most important qualities in a therapist is the ability to listen.)

I posted in my intro about why I was there for therapy, the cancer just came up when she was asking about other health conditions.

[mrsnacho]

Originally Posted by skeksi

I'd be put off by that response, too. Personally, were I fighting cancer, I'd prefer to get medical advice from my oncologist, not my therapist! So I get the used-car salesman vibe you describe. Not only does such talk come off as trying to "sell you" an approach, but it seems like a way to put responsibility for the cancer on your shoulders. Both leave a bad taste in my mouth.

At this point I only need to see a dermatologist cancer specialist and my primary care doctor, no oncologist but regardless you put it well! It did sort of make me feel like it's all my fault. I am fair skinned and had a lot of burns as a child (I don't remember if they simply didn't have sunblock back then or my parents just didn't use it on us).

I'm trying to be open minded though and will try to listen to her. If she can truly help me then it's all worth it.

[mrsnacho]

Originally Posted by Dr.Muffin

i had a similar response. its not like you asked, what she thought you should eat and things of that nature. it came off a little rigid to me, like thats the only way to help a person with cancer and kinda smacks of quackery, quite honestly.

When we left the off I told my husband that was the weirdest thing she could have said to me. I never asked for her advice or opinion, she was taking medical history down. Whacky!

[Confused_1982]

((((((((((((Mrsnacho))))))))))))))

Isnt T meant to be there to help you with the emotional stuff. She should leave the medical advice to the professionals. I felt quite annoyed with your T when I read your post. Unless you asked her for dietary advice, she should not have even brought it up. I totally understand you feelings about dreading bringing it up again. how did you feel about her other than her response to this? Do you think she is someone who you could work with?

[ECHOES]

If diet advice is not what you want from her, I would tell her that directly and see where it goes from there if you think you want to stay with this person.

It reminds me of when I was looking for a T and I talked with one who had some kind of aromatherapy going in the waiting room which seemed staged and unnatural to me, then in the room she sat on the edge of her seat, and when I told her I was depressed she immediately (without asking more about that) decided I needed to be "put on" Wellbutrin and then we would see about some social groups to "get me" into.

Bye, T, have a wonderful life...

[deliquesce]

err...

i would have had nothing to say to that. how did you manage to get through the rest of the session? (edit: so - kudos to you, kid. i would have sat there in shock & utter disbelief. in fact, my mind is boggling at the though of it, even).

exercise/diet etc are all important and integral parts of managing cancer, but by god that's something that should be coming from your Dr, or someone who is a health psychologist (and who you go to for that purpose).

how presumptive of her! i'd take my money and skiddadle.

[onlymedid]

I agree, totally presumptuous and I would, probably, never go back. Then again, I avoid confrontation. If you think you can talk to her about the issue then go for it! I wish you the best of luck and hope this gets worked out.

[Indie'sOK]

I agree with everyone else. She is supposed to be there to support and listen to you, not to try to sell you ways on how to get rid of the cancer. Good luck in working this out

[mrsnacho]

Originally Posted by Confused_1982

((((((((((((Mrsnacho))))))))))))))

Isnt T meant to be there to help you with the emotional stuff. She should leave the medical advice to the professionals. I felt quite annoyed with your T when I read your post. Unless you asked her for dietary advice, she should not have even brought it up. I totally understand you feelings about dreading bringing it up again. how did you feel about her other than her response to this? Do you think she is someone who you could work with?

Yeah, I'm going to try because my appt with her yesterday had a brilliant "Ah HA!" moment again. She pointed out the basis for my claustrophobia and I truly never thought of it. Each time she does this I feel a burden lifted. I'm meeting with her again today but after that am on her waitlist for cancellations. She's weird herself but so far, so good I think.