[lifelesstraveled]

Only for this week.

Mixed feelings about it.
...relief that I don't have to go in this week--even though technically it's up to me if i want to go.i know i can stop anytime but i always start something and never finish anything, esp if things start to feel even the slightest bit overwhelming (guess that's avoidance) so i would hate myself if I just quit going. ..but I digress
...longing to sit on her couch--you know i always wanted to ask her if I am the only one who sits in the same spot every week. Do you think she'd let me play with the lanyard string (as a younger day camper i called it gimp) next week? Suppose I could ask...

and (ignore the slight rambles) it goes back and forth.

I figured for my break I would reevaluate what I want out of therapy. I feel like my depression has gotten better and my anxiety is ehhhh and of course my ED issues are still lingering, but I don't feel it's bad enough that it needs immediate attention...? Of course others might have a different opinion.
I feel like my relationships still suck and it's obviously because of me--it's like im here and everyone else is there (if that makes any sense).

I suck at making boundaries....I try and fail because I feel like that boundary is going to make someone leave me. She wanted me to practice with my (ex-ish)boyfriend and I attempted and failed because I didnt want him to get angry with me and leave me.

of course this is just a ramble. Just needed to get this out of my head. thanks for reading

((((((((((((((((LLT))))))))))))))))))))) My T leaves tomorrow for a week.

I kind of want to take a week off of thinking about therapy, but I know when I do that, I get SO disconnected from him, and I start thinking about not even going back. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to get through the week. I hadn't thought about it. I wish I would have talked about it in therapy today, but there was NO time.

We'll get through it!!

[jexa]

My T is out this week, too... don't see her again until Saturday the 3rd of October.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this! My life is so empty lately that everything revolves around therapy so the rest of this week and next will be rough.

We'll all find a way to manage!